Total pages in book: 95
Estimated words: 92466 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 462(@200wpm)___ 370(@250wpm)___ 308(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 92466 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 462(@200wpm)___ 370(@250wpm)___ 308(@300wpm)
“There’s a lot left to say. There’s a lot I still don’t understand.” I paused, willing myself to stay calm if I wanted any chance of him agreeing to talk to me. “Look, I know you don’t owe me anything. You don’t have to talk to me. But I would greatly appreciate it if you could give me a half-hour of your time.”
“You know that I’m in the middle of my workday and can’t just leave, right? Some of us have traditional jobs where we have to answer to people.”
I nodded. “You have a point. I’ll wait for you to get off work then. When’s a good time to meet you out front?”
He sighed and looked at his phone. “I can be down there at four.”
That was an hour from now. I could kill some time in this area. I hadn’t eaten since I landed. “Thank you. I’ll see you then.”
I didn’t have much of an appetite, but I visited a deli down the street and forced myself to eat a pastrami sandwich. At ten minutes before four, I went back to Julian’s building and waited not so patiently for him to walk through the revolving glass doors. In the meantime, someone recognized me, so I put on my best fake smile and posed for a photo. Nothing like having to seem happy when you felt miserable and anxious.
When I spotted Julian coming out, I straightened.
He noticed me right away. “Where do you want to talk?” he asked.
“There’s a park about a block away with some benches.”
He nodded, and we walked in tense silence until we arrived at the park. I took a seat on one of the benches, and he followed suit.
He fidgeted as a couple of pigeons landed by our feet. They quickly flew away as if sensing some shit was about to go down that they wanted no part of. When Julian finally looked at me, I could see the fear in his eyes. He thought I was going to try to kick his ass again.
“Relax. I’m not gonna hit you or go ballistic.”
“And why should I believe that, based on your history?”
“You’re just gonna have to trust me this time.”
He crossed his arms and huffed. “What do you want to talk about?”
I rubbed my palms on my pants. “I need to know what happened between you and Nicole. How it came about. Who initiated things. I need to know the whole story,” I explained. Am I actually asking for this? But the only way past my trauma was through the fire. If I couldn’t hear this story, I was never going to move on. Nicole had inspired me to grow some balls.
“Why would you want to torture yourself with that information?”
“Because if I can’t face the things that haunt me, they’ll never go away. And I’m at a point now where I really want my life back. I can’t get my life back without getting my wife back. I can’t be the man she needs until I’ve faced the hard stuff.” I swallowed hard. “And there’s nothing harder for me than the idea that you and she were together.”
After a few seconds, he nodded. “You want me to tell you everything?”
“Start from the beginning,” I said, taking a page out of Dr. Jensen’s book.
“The beginning was that I didn’t even know you guys weren’t together when I ran into her one night in the city. It was never some premeditated vendetta like you seem to think. I’d just moved here from New Jersey for my job, and it was really nice to see Nicole after such a long time—like a slice of home in an unfamiliar place.” He shook his head. “But the moment I asked her about you, she broke down. I didn’t know it at the time, but it was right after you’d told her you were having a child with someone else.”
I blew out a breath and nodded. “Alright...”
“To my surprise, she told me everything. And honestly…I just felt so bad for her. I wasn’t thinking about taking advantage of the situation. It wasn’t like that at all, even if you think I’m full of shit. She was clearly messed up and in no way ready for me to make a move on her. But what I could do was be a friend. I’ve always really liked Nicole. You know that. And I’m not talking about just physical attraction. I’m not freaking blind, but she was always smart and really cool. I still cared about her when I ran into her that night in the city. It sucked to see her so hurt. She needed a friend.”
I narrowed my eyes as the weight of all that washed over me. “You’re saying you were just friends when it started?”
He nodded.
“For how long?”
“I don’t remember exactly, but we were friends for a long while after that first meeting—several months, maybe. She wasn’t ready for anything more. And I wasn’t too keen on being someone’s rebound, believe it or not. I liked her, but I wasn’t stupid. I knew she hadn’t gotten over you, and I wasn’t sure she ever would.” He exhaled. “But over time, we did grow closer and things evolved. She at least knew she could trust me because she’d known me for so long. After we started dating, I definitely fell in love with her, and she…” He laughed angrily. “Well, she fell a little bit less in love with you. Maybe that’s the best way to put it. She was never over you, just learning to forget a little. I was never completely sure I could get her to want me for me. But that didn’t stop me from trying.”