Total pages in book: 95
Estimated words: 92466 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 462(@200wpm)___ 370(@250wpm)___ 308(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 92466 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 462(@200wpm)___ 370(@250wpm)___ 308(@300wpm)
“Are you kidding? It’s his favorite thing to eat.”
I smiled. “Oh good.”
I’d gotten two large pies, which might’ve been too much. I set one of the boxes on the kitchen table, along with some plates.
“What does he like to drink?”
“Water’s fine.”
That seemed so boring. “Are you sure? I bought lemonade, too.”
“Water’s good. He had some candy earlier. He doesn’t need the extra sugar. He’ll be up all night.”
I nodded, impressed.
Atticus sat, placing Christian on his lap.
He opened the box and took out a slice of pizza, taking a bite to test whether or not it was too hot. I watched as he used a napkin to dab some of the grease off the top. Finally, he held the slice up to Christian’s mouth and fed it to him. Every bit of it made my heart squeeze and ache at the same time. He was much more experienced at this than I’d ever imagined. Perhaps it shouldn’t have come as a surprise, given that he’d been a dad for two years now.
“This is surreal,” I confessed. “Both seeing Christian and watching you as a dad. You take care of him very well.”
He smiled. “Thank you. That means a lot.” Atticus kissed the top of Christian’s head. “I love being his father. But the truth is, I’m not here for him enough. I live with a lot of regret about that.”
I nodded. There was so much that Atticus had never been able to share with me until now. I’d shut him down at every turn. I smiled down at the boy as he chomped his pizza. “He doesn’t seem to be holding it against you.”
“He definitely doesn’t. He’s always happy to see me. That makes me even sadder sometimes. One day when he’s old enough to realize I’m essentially choosing to live away from him, he might start to resent it. I worry he’ll wake up one morning and be like, ‘Wait a minute, that asshole should’ve been here every day.’”
“Actually, maybe one day he’ll wake up and realize who his famous father is and be proud to tell everyone.”
“I want him to be proud of me for reasons other than my fame, though, you know? And I still have a lot of work to do where that’s concerned. David is the one who’s there for him more, so I worry Christian will end up closer to him than he is me. He’s too young to play favorites now, but when it comes time to get involved in sports and all that…who’s gonna be the one tossing the ball around with him day in and day out, you know?”
“You’re doing the best you can right now,” I assured him. “That’s very evident to me.”
He took a slice of pizza for himself and bit into it. “I’m banking on Tristan having a kid, and then he’ll want to slow down a bit. Delirious Jones can’t continue at our current pace forever.”
“You think Tristan and Emily will have kids soon? They just got married.”
“Well, Emily still has plenty of time, but hopefully they won’t wait too long, because Tristan is getting old as fuck.” Atticus cringed when he realized what he’d just said. “Sorry, Christian. You didn’t hear that word.”
“Fuck!” the little boy repeated.
“No, no, no. Don’t say that.” Atticus sighed. “I’ve been scolded more than once for teaching him bad words. It’s my area of weakness.”
I chuckled. “What is Ronan gonna do if you guys scale back to spend more time with your kids?”
“Same thing he always does—smoke weed and eat out of our refrigerators, at least until he meets someone and settles down.”
“What are the chances of that happening?”
Atticus shrugged. “Ronan’s very picky, so I’m not sure. He says he wants to settle down someday, but I’m not sure I believe him.”
Atticus wiped Christian’s hands and mouth every so often so they never got too greasy. He was talking to me, yet his mind was still on his child. His life had really changed in the past couple of years. And in turn, he had really changed, yet his feelings toward me hadn’t.
“So…” Atticus cleared his throat. “I have a confession.”
I suspected I knew what this was about. “You went to see Julian.”
Atticus nodded. “He told you?”
“He did.”
“I figured he might.”
“What possessed you to go see him when you’re only in town for a few days?”
“You inspired me to be brave. I’d never allowed him to explain himself, never opened myself to the truth. And while I don’t think I’ll ever feel good about the idea of you and him, I can better understand how it happened now.”
“He’s not a bad person. He was good to me.”
“I realize that. Even if I still want to kill him. I don’t think that itch will ever go away. But I probably won’t actually do it.”