Total pages in book: 95
Estimated words: 92466 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 462(@200wpm)___ 370(@250wpm)___ 308(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 92466 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 462(@200wpm)___ 370(@250wpm)___ 308(@300wpm)
CHAPTER 34
ATTICUS
The last song we performed each night on tour featured my drum solo. Tristan would look over at me, and I’d nod before launching into the thunderous rhythm that evolved into an explosion of beats mixed with crashes of cymbals. The crowd always went wild—talk about an ego boost.
This performance in Philly had been probably one of the best of my career. It was only the second stop of this tour, and I should’ve been totally revved up since we hadn’t had time yet to tire of traveling.
But instead, I felt empty when the show was over, no longer thrilled by the excitement I’d once felt at the start of a tour or at the end of my drum solo. It was disheartening and troubling. There was just a lot on my mind. I was still in a funk after Mimi’s passing, sad that she’d never know her great-grandchild and that I hadn’t gotten to say goodbye.
Tristan caught up with me in the dressing room. “Hey, man. Freaking amazing performance tonight.”
“Thanks.” I hung my head—not exactly the reaction you should give when you’ve just been given a compliment.
“What’s up?” he asked. “Everything okay?”
“I’m pretty miserable, actually, if you want to know the truth. I miss Nicole. I feel like I should be there for her. And I don’t see an end to these absences with our music still blowing up the way it is. I don’t want you to think I don’t appreciate how lucky we are. But some days, I just want a normal life. And today is one of those days.”
He nodded. “You remember when I used to talk about craving a normal life and you’d tell me I was crazy? This was back when you were using our success as an escape from your problems. I think you’re finally at the point where you see where I was coming from. It’s not that we don’t appreciate success, but moving at this pace can’t continue forever.”
“I think I would’ve been fine with it if not for getting Nicole back.”
“I get it,” Tristan said. “And I’m about to ask you a serious question. I don’t want you to think I’m bullshitting you.”
“Alright…”
“You want to call off the tour?” His expression was dead serious.
My eyes went wide. “Why would you even say that? You know we can’t do that.”
“Says who? You’re forgetting I’m the boss.”
“Ronan would beg to differ. He’d also freak out if he knew you were suggesting this.”
Tristan put his hand on my shoulder. “You’ve given up everything for us. We got famous overnight, and it literally ruined your marriage. You went through hell after that, and yet you showed up every single freaking night. Every single damn show. Even I canceled a show once for a mental-health break, remember? But you have never once not shown up. Even tonight, you were amazing out there, and yet you’re telling me you’re suffocating. If you hadn’t said something, I would never know. You need a break before you break. And I’m gonna give it to you, whether you like it or not.”
I shook my head. “I can’t let you do that.”
“You don’t need to let me do anything, I’m just gonna do it.”
“I don’t need you to cancel the tour. I just need a little time to see her. Then I can come back reenergized.”
Tristan scratched his chin. “Okay. How about we cancel the next three shows due to undisclosed illness? And we’ll play it by ear after that. When you’re ready to come back, we’ll take this thing on the road again, but not a second sooner.”
“You’re serious about this?”
Tristan nodded. “Go home for a week. Be with your woman. I’ll go home and be with mine. And we’ll reconvene when you’re ready.”
It was hard to turn down the opportunity. “Thank you. I’m gonna take you up on this.”
He slapped me on the back. “I’m not gonna say anything to anyone until tomorrow, including Ronan. Everyone worked hard tonight. Let them decompress before I break it to them in the morning. I don’t need their anxiety when I just want to crash tonight myself. But get the hell out of here, and I’ll make an excuse for your absence if anyone asks.”
A huge wave of joy washed over me.
I’m gonna see my baby.
My babies.
All three of them.
***
I was able to get a flight out to New York that night. But as I stood in line at the airport, my phone lit up with a text.
Tristan: You need to get back here.
My stomach dropped.
Atticus: What’s wrong? I was just about to board.
Almost immediately after, I got a text from Nicole.
Nicole: Where are you?
Atticus: About to board a plane to New York.
Nicole: Don’t! I’m here in Philly!
I looked around.
Atticus: What? Where?
Nicole: On your bus.
What the hell?
Atticus: Stay there. I’m headed back!