Total pages in book: 95
Estimated words: 92466 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 462(@200wpm)___ 370(@250wpm)___ 308(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 92466 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 462(@200wpm)___ 370(@250wpm)___ 308(@300wpm)
It’s my greatest wish that someday you can meet him and see what I see. That may be a pipe dream, but I’ll always hope for it.
His name is Christian Michael Marchetti. Six pounds, nine ounces. Ten fingers, ten toes. One broken dad.
Always lost without you,
Atticus
CHAPTER 30
ATTICUS
Delirious Jones had continued working on our upcoming album in the desert. There was a hidden studio here that we’d used to record our last few albums. It was the perfect remote location. We had probably a couple of weeks left before we’d have it done.
During our final break of the day, Tristan sat down beside me. “Hey, man. You seem distracted. Everything okay?”
“I am distracted,” I admitted.
“Why?”
“Nicole just called. She met Christian and Giselle today.”
His eyes went wide. “Are you kidding? How did that come about?”
“Long story, but she met up with them at a park while he was playing.” I exhaled.
“Well, I can see why your mind was elsewhere. That’s huge.”
I shook my head. “I should’ve been there.”
“Yeah, but she clearly didn’t want you to be.”
“I think it was more that she couldn’t wait. It was eating away at her, and she needed to do it, with or without me.”
“Why don’t you go to New York, if that’s where your heart is right now?”
“How is that an option in the middle of recording?”
He shrugged. “If I say we need a break, we need a break. Are you forgetting that I make the rules around here?”
“Fuck you, Tristan,” Ronan said as he waltzed in. “I make the rules.” He looked between us. “What rule am I enforcing right now?”
“Nicole just met Christian back in New York. I think Atticus should go be with her.”
Ronan smacked my arm. “Holy crap, man.”
“I know.” I ran a hand through my hair. “I can’t concentrate for shit today.”
“Well, you’re no good to us here if you’re not at the top of your game,” Tristan said. “It’s almost the weekend anyway. Go for a few days. See your son. See Nicole. We can reconvene next week. We’ve stayed on schedule all this time. A few days isn’t gonna make or break us.”
“I give you permission to do that,” Ronan added.
Tristan rolled his eyes. “Anyway, I don’t think my wife will complain about having my full attention for the weekend.”
Ronan sighed. “What the hell am I gonna do while you two are all up in your love fests?”
“I’m sure you’ll figure it out.” I couldn’t get out of the desert fast enough. “Let’s finish for today so I can book my flight.”
***
The following afternoon, I arrived in New York. I’d nearly forgotten how damn cold it was here in January. Due to our hectic recording schedule, I’d only been back to the city once in the past few months. That was the longest I’d ever gone without seeing Christian. And Nicole had ironically been back in Monksville that weekend, so we hadn’t crossed paths.
Originally, I’d thought my first stop today was going to be Nicole’s. But she was still working, so as soon as I landed, I called Giselle to see what my son was up to. Apparently, Christian had a playdate with another toddler this afternoon, but I arranged to pick him up this evening and keep him with me overnight. He had his own room in the apartment I kept in the city. I tried to spend as much time as possible with him when I was in town, and I could give Giselle and David a break, too. That was the least I could do and yet not nearly enough.
Only having a few days here, I didn’t want to waste a second. There was something I knew I had to do if I was going to move on. Just like I imagined Nicole had felt yesterday when she went to meet Christian, I didn’t think this could wait much longer, either. If Nicole could put aside her fear and meet my son and Giselle, I needed to confront the thing I knew I had to get past if she and I were going to have a second chance.
Julian worked at a financial company in Midtown on East 53rd Street. I hopped the subway and went to his building, taking the elevator up to his office. No one seemed to care as I walked straight past reception. Great security they have here. I marched through the busy office until I finally spotted him. Julian was working in his cubicle when he noticed me.
He flinched as he looked up. “What the fuck?”
“Don’t worry. I’m not going to shoot up the office.”
He looked around. “What are you doing here?”
“You and I need to talk.”
He lowered his voice. “You have some balls barging into my office like this.”
“Yeah, well, it can’t wait.”
“There’s nothing to say. Nicole and I aren’t together anymore. So why don’t you just leave me alone?”