Total pages in book: 109
Estimated words: 104165 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 521(@200wpm)___ 417(@250wpm)___ 347(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 104165 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 521(@200wpm)___ 417(@250wpm)___ 347(@300wpm)
“From me?” I scoff. “I’m the only thing holding her together.”
“Are you sure about that?” Dr. Ezra tilts his head inquisitively at me. I immediately want to smash his face in.
“Yes,” I say through gritted teeth.
He barely waits for the word to escape my mouth before continuing on, like a teacher asking a trick question, “Because there have been periods where she’s fully coherent. And we’re able to make some progress talking to… her.”
“It doesn’t fucking look like it.”
Anna’s hand spasms in mine at my furious tone. Shit. If this bastard wasn’t here antagonizing me, I wouldn’t be so loud. I could be focusing on her. The only reason I was gone was because I was trying to protect her. They all just need to go and leave us alone!
I ignore everyone else in the room and turn to Anna. I let go of her hands and gently cup her cheeks, searching her eyes for some sign of recognition. The squeeze let me know she’s in there.
“Love, it’s me. It’s Domhn. Donny. I’m home. I’m so fucking sorry I ever left, love. But I’m home now and I fucking swear, I’ll never leave your side again. I’m here.”
When her eyes still don’t lift or catch mine like usual, I try to move my face to get in her line of sight. But even then, it’s like she’s looking through me.
“Brooke,” I try, rubbing my thumb gently over her cheek. “Mads. Mads, it’s me.”
Still nothing. I carefully take her hand, shuddering. What the fuck has all this done to her? What have I done to her?
I look back at Dr. Ezra. “But you said she talked to you? Like more than just a word?”
He nods. “She was coherent. And there are sides of her you know nothing about, Domhnall.”
I shake my head. He doesn’t know what the fuck he’s talking about. No one knows Mads—Brooke—fuck, Anna, better than me.
“Did she know where she was? Who she was? What had happened?”
“I’m taking it slow. But she seems to be aware of herself and her surroundings.”
The fury from moments ago is taken over by exhaustion. I’ve barely slept the last week. I kept wanting to call and talk to Br—to Anna—but it’s not like we ever exchanged phone numbers. And when I called Moira, she always said Brooke was sleeping, or resting, or some other equally infuriating excuse.
I drop a kiss on Anna’s forehead, trying to see if she twitches or gives any other indication that she recognizes me. No matter how tired, I expected us to throw ourselves into each other’s arms the second I got home.
Why didn’t Moira tell me what’s going on? Did she not know? Has Professor Roberts been blocking her from visiting Anna? Or did she and Dr. Ezra convince Moira it was best to leave me in the dark? Do they think I’m part of Anna’s trauma?
Aren’t you?
My back’s still raw from my last punishment, but in spite of my exhaustion, all I want to do is go belt myself until I’m fucking bleeding again. It’s the only other thing I’ve been thinking about all week. But I thought, if I could just get back and pull Anna into my arms, it would all be okay. I’d be all right. I could get through the compulsion.
Now, though, that I know she’s hurt in a way far deeper than my flesh wounds could ever go? And that all my previous notions of control are totally fucked? I can’t get control back.
Control is just a fucking illusion.
So what the fuck am I supposed to do now?
I stand up.
“I’m going to go wash up,” I mutter to Professor Roberts and Dr. Ezra. “Let me know the second she comes back around.”
Professor Roberts looks to Dr. Ezra like she’s not sure she should agree to my simple request, which makes me want to scream at both of them to get the fuck out of my house again. But he just nods, eying me.
I start to walk out of the room, but as I pass, he puts a hand on my shoulder. I look at him incredulously. “You wanna lose that fuckin’ hand, boyo?”
He doesn’t look the least intimidated by me. He lifts his hand, but not before saying, “You know, I’m here to offer a listening ear to you as well. This is a difficult thing.” His head nods the barest bit back towards Anna. “What the two of you are dealing with.”
I glare at him. “Just see to it she’s taken care of. I don’t fucking trust you and if you hurt her in any way, I’ll do much worse than just seeing that you lose your license.”
He holds both hands up and backs away, something on his face telling me he’s not intimidated by my threats. That better be because he’s fucking confident in what he’s fucking doing.