Total pages in book: 109
Estimated words: 104165 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 521(@200wpm)___ 417(@250wpm)___ 347(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 104165 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 521(@200wpm)___ 417(@250wpm)___ 347(@300wpm)
She glares at me, then barks, “Out of the car.”
She stands back up and reties the robe that’s softly lined inside but looks like a jacket on the outside when it’s closed. Knowing she’s naked apart from the collar, tail, and the little nude ballet shoes she’s wearing underneath doesn’t help my stiffy.
Until I remember what she said last night and immediately deflate. Just when I thought I was so in control, I totally lost my shit.
Or maybe you’ll hurt me again right when I give you my trust. I hear her voice in my head, and again, I feel the righteousness of the accusation in her words. It was only what I deserved after what I’d done and how I’d failed her. At least we were both finally acknowledging it.
Then, like always, there was his fucking voice, an unending echo I can’t ever seem to rid myself of.
Such an ugly, untrustworthy little bitch, aren’t you? You were born a dog, and you’ll die a dog, you little slut. You’re master’s good little bitch, aren’t you?
Lick my boot. Lick it like you love it.
Make me believe you love it.
Polish it, you little bitch!
Him shoving my head down until I choked. Because it wasn’t his boot.
I’d twisted away from her, then.
I couldn’t stand for her to see my face.
Fucking feelings, making me so fucking weak. Begging her to leave like that, right when she needed me to be strong. I just folded like a fucking bitch. I’m still so fucking ashamed. I don’t deserve for her to wear my collar.
Fucking feelings. I’ve been fighting to hold my shoulders up all day. To grasp at some pretense of control.
“Let’s go in!” Brooke says from the other side of the car, oblivious as I sit storming in the front seat. “I want to catch up with Quinn and Moira!”
I see she’s swooping down to look back in at me, so I swing myself out of the car.
And at her words, I also remember: my sister. Shit. I’ve barely thought about Moira all week, I’ve been so consumed with Brooke. Usually I’m checking the reports from everyone I have watching her to make sure she’s alright and they’ve all just stacked up in my inbox. Someone else I’ve been failing.
But Moira will be here tonight, and I can get a visual on her. How much trouble could she have gotten into in just a week, anyway?
I walk around the front of the car to tuck Brooke’s hand in my arm and— Fuck. Her beauty slams me full in the chest. She’s so goddamn gorgeous. I don’t fecking deserve her. Maybe tonight once we’re around other people, she’ll finally realize it, too. My chest feels like it caves in at the thought, but I don’t allow myself to let on.
Come on, little bitch. You’ve spent your whole life wearing masks. What’s one more night?
My large hand envelops her small one as she shifts her weight forward against me.
“Oh!” she gasps, smiling as our gazes catch. She grins radiantly up at me, and in spite of the terror at the thought of losing her that’s currently squeezing the breath out of my chest, I also have to admit, I’ve never been so fecking happy in me whole stupid life. It’s been a bitter cocktail all day—the wild joy drenched in shame.
Before I can lean down and kiss the woman of my dreams, though, she’s grabbing my hand and dragging me forwards. “Come on! I want to see everyone.”
I shut the car door and allow her to tug me forward. Even though I usually go through the back member’s entrance, I allow her to take me around to the front of the club.
It’s not flashy. Just a large black brick front with Carnal painted in white lettering across the glass entrance doors.
Next door is the swingers club, Tempt. It was one of Caleb’s best moves inviting the owner, Dakota, into talks to lease the space next door when she began inquiring in the area. Curious couples come for one space and migrate into the other. Then Caleb tempts the high dollar clients into ring membership here.
I open the door for Brooke, and she gives me a small smile before stepping inside. Like she’s trying to reassure me when I should be doing that for her. Fuck, I’m failing her again if she can see I’m off my game at all. I’m better than that.
We’re greeted by the club’s other bouncer, Derek. He’s newer, but he gives me a lift of the chin in acknowledgement as he steps out of the way for us to pass down the long hallway to the main part of the club.
I stand taller and solidify my outward facade. I’m at the club. I’ve been here a thousand times, and I know how to act. Shoulders back. Don’t give a damn attitude. Bored and aloof expression.