Total pages in book: 109
Estimated words: 104165 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 521(@200wpm)___ 417(@250wpm)___ 347(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 104165 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 521(@200wpm)___ 417(@250wpm)___ 347(@300wpm)
I gulp and look away. “The girl was fine. She had me to protect her. He must have been fucking delighted watching her mother squirm, though, as she tried to decide. Fucker always loved that shit the most. Fucking with people’s heads. Destroying beautiful things.”
It wasn’t just her he had fun making squirm.
Daddy told me to always be a good girl, or Mommy would leave me.
And I tried so hard. I followed her around like a little duckling, asking if there was anything I could help with. I tried to fold laundry, but I was clumsy at it. I tried to play with Tommy when he got fussy. He was four, but still threw tantrums sometimes.
Mommy stopped letting me help towards the end. When I asked her if I was still a good girl, she just looked away and said she needed to go check on Tommy.
“She was trying to distance herself from me by the end,” I whisper. I couldn’t see it then. I was just hurt. Devastated really. Well, the girl was. “So maybe it wasn’t such a difficult choice after all.”
“Do you really think that?” Dr. Ezra asks softly. “How old were you?”
“Six.” I’m still glaring towards the window, unable to look at him. “And I think my mother was a weak bitch who should have been smarter and figured out a way around my father’s trap.”
Finally I wrench my head back to glare at the doctor. “A stronger woman would never have left her own flesh and blood with that bastard. She knew what he was. It’s why she chose Tommy over me. Because he was a boy and she was afraid of what he’d do to him. But what about the girl?” I shout. “Didn’t she think the monster would find a way to torture her even if he didn’t fuck her? The girl’s mother was a weak, stupid bitch!”
“And you despise weakness?”
“I fucking hate it!” I shout, almost rising up from the couch. “I’ve been fucking strong. When anyone else would have cowered in the corner, I fucking took it. When our father water-boarded us, and smothered us, and shoved a tube down our throat to steal our air, and locked us in the box for hours on end, and made us fucking watch!” I’m screaming and all the way on my feet now, and gasping so hard I can barely catch my breath.
“It’s all right,” Dr. Ezra says, both hands lifted calmly. “Can you breathe with me? Deep breath in. From your belly. Come on. I know you think this is stupid, but humor me. Take a deep breath in.”
I take a dumb breath in.
“Good. Now hold it. Good, good. Now let it out, for a count of six. One, two, three, four, five, six. Now let’s take another breath in—”
He guides me to take a bunch more breaths in and out and like he said, I humor him and play along.
“How do you feel now?”
I sit back down on the couch hard and cross my arms. “Like this is all cringe.”
“Thank you for telling me about your mother and how you felt about what happened. I think you’ve been very strong.”
I roll my eyes. “You’re welcome,” I say sarcastically.
“Now tell me, what’s your favorite food?”
I seriously can’t with this motherfucker.
FORTY-ONE
DOMHNALL
It takes longer than I wanted to get home. And certainly longer than I told Brooke I’d be away.
Between all the stops and unexpected holdups, instead of two days, the whole round-trip took six.
When I finally speed back into the roundabout in front of the mansion, I screech the car to a stop and jump out, sprinting up to the front door. My digital key automatically unlocks it, and I barely slow down before throwing the door open.
“Brooke!” I shout, sprinting inside. “I’m home! Brooke!”
Instead of Brooke’s figure appearing at the top of the stairs, however, it’s Professor Roberts. She waves a hand to shush me as she hurries down the steps.
“Would you stop shouting?” she hisses. “The nightmares keep Anna awake and we’ve been trying to let her sleep in. She’s at a very precarious stage right now!”
“Anna? Who the fuck is Anna?”
Professor Roberts just glares at me when she gets close and continues whispering. “Brooke is Anna. Anna is Brooke. It’s the name she’s picked for herself.”
I throw my hands in the air. “What, you found another personality? What the fuck have you been up to while I’ve been away?”
If possible, Professor Roberts’s glare becomes arctic. Glacial. “We don’t know for sure that Anna has dissociative identity disorder. It takes months to make a diagnosis like that. And it’s rarely so cut and dry even if she does. Anna is just the name the girl is now choosing to go by.”
“The girl? What the fuck are you talking about?”
“There have been developments while you’ve been away.”