Total pages in book: 126
Estimated words: 129881 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 649(@200wpm)___ 520(@250wpm)___ 433(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 129881 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 649(@200wpm)___ 520(@250wpm)___ 433(@300wpm)
She smiles at me. “Hi, Jake.”
I straighten up. “Hey.”
“Voluminous,” Felix repeats, and he practically beams. “Oh, man. You’re going to be so fucked, Jake!”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” I grumble, but yeah, he’s probably right.
Voluminous sounds like a good thing.
Riley joins Felix on the couch, and she’s careful with her hands as she settles back, keeping them raised and her fingers spread as Felix situates the blanket across her lap so they’re sharing it now.
“Thank you, Felix.”
“Are they almost dry?” he asks, looking at her black painted nails.
“I think so.”
“I did that,” Felix proudly shares. “I’ve never painted anyone’s nails before and I kicked ass at it, Jake!”
“He’s a natural,” Riley says.
Wow. Does he like hearing that?
His wide eyes cut to me. “I have the best idea.”
“What.”
“You should let me paint yours sometime.”
“Okay.”
“Yeah?”
“If you want to. I don’t care.”
Felix smiles like this is such an important thing to him, and I don’t understand that, but what the fuck do I care if he paints my nails.
I think I’d let him do anything he wanted to me.
Riley grunts and shifts her weight on the couch as she presses her hand against her stomach. Her breathing is sharp, and her face is pinched.
“Are you okay?” I ask.
“Yep. Just first trimester pains.” She drops her head back after another second or two and lets out a deep sigh. “Wow. You look very serious right now, Jake.”
“He always looks like that.”
“No, I don’t,” I say to Felix before shifting my attention back to Riley. “And what do you want me to do? Laugh?”
“No. Of course not.” She smiles softly. “I’m okay. Really.”
“Yeah?”
“Yep. My friends all told me the pains are normal. And they usually pass pretty quickly. No big deal. It just feels like bad period cramps.”
“God, I could never do that shit every month,” Felix says. “Mad props to all who menstruate. I’d never be sober if I routinely bled out of my dick.”
I look from Riley to Felix, who shrugs as if that was a completely normal thing to say, then I look back to Riley.
“Are you sure you’re okay?” I ask her, and I don’t just hope she is so I don’t have to reach out to my brother sooner than I was planning to. But that is part of it.
“I’m fine. Promise.”
“Well, I’m obviously not fine.” Felix glares at me.
What the fuck now.
“Why not?” I ask.
“Oh, I don’t know. Did you hear what I just said.”
“About getting your period? Yeah. And I was planning on ignoring it.”
“No. The sober part. Jesus. I need to go to a meeting later.” He narrows his eyes. “We. Sorry. We need to go to a meeting later.”
“Yeah. Good idea.”
“I know. I’m full of them.”
Felix raises the knitted square and begins working on it, and damn, he doesn’t even need to look at what he’s doing. The little stick thing he’s holding is flying.
And what the hell, why do I find that hot?
“I gotta shower.”
I round the couch and head down the hallway before Felix can tease me about my dick getting hard, because it is and he will.
It’ll be another I think your hair is cute thing between us, and he’ll start carrying yarn with him everywhere we go, and I’ll end up popping a boner somewhere I shouldn’t.
No fucking thanks. He’ll never know about this.
I strip in the bathroom and toss my dirt-covered clothes into a pile on the floor, then I step under the spray and pull the curtain closed behind me.
I wash my hair with the same soap I use to wash my body. It’s what I’ve always done, back when I kept it buzzed and cut short for the Marines, and even now with my hair longer on the top, it just makes sense to use what’s already in my hand.
After I rinse off, I flatten my palms on the wall and drop my head under the spray so the water beats against the back of my neck.
I let the jet massage deep into the muscle where it aches.
The pressure feels good, but I know what feels better, and I hate that I know it. I can’t even recover from a hard day at work like a normal person because my brain wants to kill me.
What’s the downside of using again? I can’t seem to remember.
My old roommate’s Oxy would taste incredible right now. A couple Percs would make me feel great (and simultaneously nothing at all), and fuck, is this always going to be my life?
The bathroom door closes, and Felix calls out, “It’s me,” and I straighten off the wall and yank the shower curtain open so fast just so I can see him, that’s really all I think I need. Because he’ll know exactly what I’m thinking and what to say (he always does). He’s my sponsor above everything else between us.