Total pages in book: 126
Estimated words: 129881 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 649(@200wpm)___ 520(@250wpm)___ 433(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 129881 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 649(@200wpm)___ 520(@250wpm)___ 433(@300wpm)
He told me he likes contact.
And now, so do I.
His breath shudders. “Thank you. That’s nice.”
“Yeah.” It really fucking is.
“Jake, I didn’t want to do it, and I don’t think I would’ve if all that shit wouldn’t have happened, but it did.” He looks over at me then. “It was too much for me. My dad—he was going to stay there. I couldn’t get him to leave. He wanted proof that the house was mine and I don’t know where the fucking deed is—I’ve never seen it—and he made me clean up his shit. I had to do it. And he doesn’t listen to me. I asked him not to sleep in my mom’s old bed and he did it anyway. I told you—he’s the worst person I’ve ever met. Then I found my room the way it was and my cash was gone, and I was going to go to a meeting—I knew I had to. I was fucking spiraling, but he took off with my phone and I couldn’t call Dean or you, and I couldn’t leave, and it was just me and the drugs, and it didn’t even matter what that pill was. That combination could’ve killed me, but I’m an addict and we don’t give a fuck, do we. Pills are pills, and I swallowed it so fucking fast.”
Another tear slides down his cheek, and he quickly wipes it away. He looks absolutely wrecked.
“How’d you end up with Dean?” I ask.
“He came looking for me when I didn’t check in with him this morning. He took me to a meeting. I’ve been at his house all day. I would’ve come over here sooner, but I didn’t want you to see me fucked up.”
“Any idea what that pill was?”
“I don’t know for sure, but I kind of felt like I was rolling, so, maybe molly?” He chokes on a laugh.
“Is that funny?”
“I mean, I felt great. I just threw away a year of sobriety and I couldn’t stop smiling about it. I wasn’t scared until it wore off.”
A knock sounds on the door, and CJ calls out for me.
“Yeah. Come in.”
He peers inside the room, and if seeing Felix and myself sitting as close as we are and holding hands surprises him, my brother covers it well.
“Hey. That alarm is going off. What do you want me to do?”
It takes me a second to realize what he’s talking about.
“Oh. It should be done. You can take it out.”
“I’ll take care of it and then I’m leaving.”
“Okay. Hey. Thanks for everything you did today.”
“Yeah. Of course.” CJ shifts his eyes to Felix. “Glad you’re okay. You really messed him up when he couldn’t find you. He cried and everything. It was really sweet.”
Felix immediately looks over at me.
“Was that necessary to share?” I grunt, making my brother laugh.
“Later,” he calls out, closing the door.
I start to smile the longer Felix stares at me.
“Shut up,” I say.
“You cried?”
“You weren’t the only one who was scared today.”
“Can you tell me what happened?” he asks quietly.
I finally look over at him.
“I called you when you didn’t text me back this morning and got some dickhead who said your dad sold him your phone. I thought maybe your dad hurt you, and then you weren’t at your house or the four tattoo shops we checked, and Riley was going to call us if you showed up at the emergency room, and just knowing that was a possibility, that you might be hurt that bad to end up at the hospital was a little too much to take. Plus, I didn’t know where else to look for you. I couldn’t call you. I couldn’t do anything, so CJ brought us back here and I was stuck baking a pie to keep myself from going out and doing something stupid. It wasn’t good.”
And the only comment he has after hearing my recap is, “Oh shit. I love pie.”
I laugh. It feels so strange to do after today.
“Come on. You can have some of it.” I stand and try pulling him up with me.
Felix doesn’t move.
“What’s wrong?” I ask.
“Dean said he’ll be your sponsor. I already asked him for you.”
The smile slips right off my face, and I drop his hand. “Why would you do that?”
“Because it can’t be me anymore.”
“Who says?” My voice raises. “Did Dean tell you that?”
“No. It’s a rule or whatever.”
“Oh, fuck the rules. Jesus. You gotta know I don’t give a shit about rules at this point, Felix. I just had my tongue inside your mouth again. And if holding your hand like you’re my boyfriend wasn’t a hint; I’ll spell it out for you—I want you to be my boyfriend.”
Felix sucks in the softest breath, and he looks like he wants to smile hearing that, like he’s bursting to do it, but he somehow fights it off.