Total pages in book: 167
Estimated words: 164838 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 824(@200wpm)___ 659(@250wpm)___ 549(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 164838 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 824(@200wpm)___ 659(@250wpm)___ 549(@300wpm)
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“It means, I’ve been a bad neighbour. After all, he can’t help moving about in his own house, right? He shouldn’t have to put up with his neighbour ogling him when he’s just come back from the gym. He should have privacy instead of realising that the girl next door once stood for a full hour watching him nap on the couch because he looked so exhausted and all she wanted to do was go over there and give him a hug.”
“W-Why are you telling me this?” His hand strayed to the bridge of his nose—the tic so Zander, my heart fluttered with love. But then he realised what he was doing and yanked his mask a little higher instead. “Are you trying to make me jealous?”
“Is it working?”
“Doesn’t matter what I think.” His voice came out all scratchy. “I’m leaving.”
“Not yet, you’re not.”
His forehead furrowed. “You think you can keep me here against my will?”
“I’m willing to try.” I ran my finger over the knife with a crazy smile.
He gulped. “Look, Sailor…I don’t know what you want—”
“I want you to sit there and listen. Do you think you can do that?” I scowled. “And then you can go. You can leave and never come back if that’s truly what you want.”
“I won’t change my mind—”
“We’ll see.”
He shuddered as his gaze shot to the back door.
If he left, I had every intention of spraying him with the hose until his hair turned red, but…he resisted the urge to run and turned back to face me. “Fine. What do you want to talk about?”
“Oh, I don’t know. How about we get straight to the juicy stuff and confess our deepest, darkest secrets?” Cutting a piece of cake, I placed it on the plate in front of him.
He scowled. “You know I can’t eat that with my mask on.”
“Oh, I know.”
“Then why did you—”
“Hospitality? Hope that you’ll trust me enough to take off your mask once we’ve finished talking?” I laughed, enjoying taunting him far too much. “However, if you want to keep it on while doing bad things to me again, that would be perfectly acceptable.” I licked my bottom lip. “One of my secrets is…you’ve successfully given me a mask fetish.”
He twitched and cleared his throat. “Sailor, I—” His gaze dropped to my breasts again.
His chest strained with a heavy breath.
I blushed.
Zander might’ve been hiding the darker parts of his personality that only ever came out when he was X, but…so had I.
I might have gone my entire life pretending that I didn’t have urges—normal, simple urges. Now I was happy to admit, I wanted a man to adore me but also rule me. I was both a feminist and a traditionalist. I craved to be taken care of by a man who I trusted to fight off monsters, but also become that monster in bed when it was just us. In return, I wanted to be the hearth he came home to. I wanted to care for him, protect him, and be the one he could be both man and monster with.
And if I couldn’t convince Zander that he needn’t be afraid of wanting those same normal, wonderful urges, then…drastic moves would have to be taken.
Gathering every shred of courage I had, I sniffed. “Okay, I’ll go first.” Placing my hands on my lap, I forced myself to meet his stare. “Secret number one is…the night Milton tried to kill me…I told you he accused me of watching my neighbour when I’d been distracted and thinking of work. That’s…a lie. A lie I couldn’t even admit to until today. My best friend forced me to realise just how aware I’ve been of Zander North my entire life. Yes, I moved into this house to care for my nana, and yes, I love this home more than any other but…the real reason was him.” I shrugged, my back prickling with the hard-to-swallow truth. “I missed him when I lived in the city. I missed him every time I returned from a visit here. I loved every time our grandparents whispered about us getting married and felt physical pain at the thought that he’d end up with someone else. Living close by—being able to see him, even from a distance—was a temptation I wasn’t strong enough to ignore.”
X didn’t say a word, frozen in his chair.
It still felt odd to talk about Zander as if he wasn’t here, but I threw myself headfirst into making him break, allowing myself to break in the process. “I’m not taking responsibility or excusing Milton’s behaviour that night. I will never forgive him, and there will never be a good enough reason for a man to try to kill his significant other, but…I will admit that it wasn’t just him at fault in our relationship. I went along with it because I thought I couldn’t have the man I wanted. The man I didn’t even admit I wanted. I made do and settled for what I thought I deserved, all while craving someone else. I thought I was so stealthy whenever I’d spy on my neighbour, but it turns out, I wasn’t. Lily noticed. Milton noticed. And that’s when cracks started appearing. The night Milton found me watching Zander in his bedroom, he didn’t say a word. He watched me watching my neighbour and saw how I reacted when he dropped his towel.”