Total pages in book: 167
Estimated words: 164838 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 824(@200wpm)___ 659(@250wpm)___ 549(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 164838 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 824(@200wpm)___ 659(@250wpm)___ 549(@300wpm)
I hadn’t understood then, but my body had. My heart had. Both of those had known all along, just like Peng. It was just my stupid eyes that hadn’t seen.
“Are you going to speak, Sailor Moon, or do I need to slap you back into the world of the living?”
I blinked and forced a smile. “You can’t judge me.”
“Oh, I’m judging.” She smirked and crossed her arms. “And I want to hear every detail. Who the hell did you hook up with? How was it the best sex of your life? How did you not tell me this?”
Using her questions as stepping stones to everything else, I said, “His name is X. It was the best because I asked for what I wanted, and he gave it to me with no shame or fear. He bruised me but in the best kinds of way, and…I couldn’t tell you because…he was my stalker.”
“Your what?” Her jaw fell on the table. “He was stalking you?!” Her eyes narrowed into slits. Pointing a finger in my face, she hissed, “I knew it! The phone in your letterbox, the ‘care’ package you didn’t explain. That was him?”
“Yes.”
“And you slept with him? Are you insane? Do you not watch crime TV?”
“Believe me…I had those same thoughts when he first started messaging me but…”
“But?”
“I grew to trust him.”
She crossed her arms. “Explain. Immediately.”
So I explained.
About everything.
Every moment, every message, every mistake and triumph and fall.
And when I was done, Lily ordered two glasses of wine instead of coffee, claiming she needed alcohol.
We both waited until the crisp white wine had been delivered.
After taking a huge gulp, she coughed around the sharpness. “You know he called me looking for you. Zander, I mean. The night I stood you up at the movies.” Her face fell. “By the way, I’m so, so sorry that creep attacked you in the car park. If I’d gone you would never—”
“Zander was there to save me.” I shrugged. “And I think…I think I needed to see him in that way. You know…being violent toward someone? Protecting me like X did. If I hadn’t, I would still have a super hard time admitting he’s the one who’s been stalking me all along.”
“Not surprised. He went as far as to dye his hair and change his eye colour. That’s commitment. Freaky commitment.”
I nodded along, sipping my wine.
Her voice softened as her eyes met mine. “I should’ve guessed something was going on with you two. The night he called me looking for you, his voice said it all.”
“What did it say?”
“He was panicking. Desperate.” She smiled gently. “He’s in love with you.”
I ducked my head, fighting a blush. “So…you don’t think I’m crazy?”
“Oh, I think you’re batshit crazy.” She laughed. “But then again…so is he. It sounds as if he’s turned himself into knots for you. Coming over in the dead of night, giving you an orgasm under duress, gifting you a damn kitten for goodness’ sake. I mean come on.” She pressed her wrist to her forehead and fake swooned. “He’s a walking romance trope.”
I laughed, surprising myself. “And you’re not mad at me?”
Her smile fell. “Honestly? Yeah, I am a little.”
I flinched.
She took my hand and squeezed it, all while she scolded me. “I’m happy for you, Sails. I truly am. He wouldn’t have gone to such crazy extremes if he wasn’t head over freaking heels for you. I’m grateful he gave you an outlet to talk. That he was smart enough to know you needed a stranger to confess to. He helped you find your feet again, but I can’t help feeling like…you didn’t trust me enough to confide in me. I’m hurt that you thought I wouldn’t accept you. I would’ve loved you no matter what state you were in—”
“I know. And I love you for it. I know every word of that is true, but…I was a little lost, Lils. I was afraid of my own shadow, and you looked at me as if I was so strong, and I needed to believe that. I don’t think I could’ve coped if you’d seen how much I struggled.”
Tears glimmered in her eyes. “I get it. I do. But I just need you to know I would never think you were weak for having panic attacks. Milton tried to kill you, Sails. Even if you hadn’t almost been strangled to death, something like that stays with a person.”
I sipped my drink and let her continue.
“No matter that Zander lied to you and stalked my best friend, I’ll always be grateful to him for helping you, and I can even understand why he used a fake name and wore a mask, especially now that I know that Milton hurt you all because he caught you spying on Zander in a towel—”
“I wasn’t spying.” I swallowed a mouthful of zesty alcohol. “I was thinking about work and—”