Total pages in book: 76
Estimated words: 76759 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 384(@200wpm)___ 307(@250wpm)___ 256(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 76759 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 384(@200wpm)___ 307(@250wpm)___ 256(@300wpm)
After all, she was right. The deed was already done at that point.
I still feel like a fucking heel.
What I really need is sleep. I have rehearsal tomorrow. I’ve got a tour to do—a tour that could make or break the band’s career.
The last thing I need is to get involved with a woman, especially Brianna Steel.
But I took her virginity.
There’s no escaping that now.
We’re both still naked, and she looks so sweet and innocent, gazing up at me.
There’s something in her eyes. Is it love?
Not that I would recognize love, but clearly she feels something for me. She bought me that belt buckle, and now…this.
She gave me her virginity of her own free will. I gave her multiple chances to change her mind, and she didn’t.
Here comes the overwhelming guilt, like a freaking anvil strapped to my back.
Because I’m not in love with this woman. I’m not in love with any woman.
This isn’t even me.
I don’t do indiscriminate fucks. Which is part of the problem. I was horny, needed release, and I wanted to get laid.
She was here, offering herself up on a platter.
Would I have stopped if I’d known she was a virgin?
I’d like to think I would have.
But fuck…
The way her pussy held my cock.
So tight—a tightness that had nothing to do with her virginity. I could fuck her again tomorrow and she’d still be just as tight. Just as perfectly tight…
Damn, tomorrow…
She’s going to be sore. Does she know that?
I slide the cloth over her once more. It’s a bit cooler now but still warm enough to be a little soothing.
I sigh. “You’re going to be sore.”
“Maybe not.”
“You bled a little. Trust me. You’re going to be sore.”
“But it didn’t hurt that much, Jesse.”
“Some girls hurt more than others after their first time. You’re still going to be sore.”
She closes her eyes, sighs. “Whatever. It was worth it.”
God… The guilt just went from an anvil to a ton of bricks. I don’t have indiscriminate sex, despite my decision to screw around during this trip if it was offered. I sure as hell don’t have indiscriminate sex with young and impressionable women.
How could I have done this to such a sweet girl?
Except Brianna is no girl. I may remember when she was eight years old, but the woman lying before me is a fully grown, fully developed woman.
Any man would want her.
“Look,” I say. “You and Maddie are going to be here the whole time with us on this tour. We’re going to have to come to some kind of an understanding.”
She opens her eyes and meets my gaze, her head still on the pillow. “All right, Jesse. Whatever you want, I will agree to.”
“Seriously?”
“Yes, because you’re right. I did deceive you. I shouldn’t have done that. I don’t want this to change things between us.”
“There was never anything between us, Brianna.”
“That’s what I mean.” She rises and heads toward the bathroom. “I suppose we can’t call ourselves friends. We certainly don’t run in the same circles. But I am friends with Maddie, and I don’t want what happened to change that. I promised Maddie a wonderful trip, and I aim to keep that promise.”
My heart softens a bit. She is doing a lot for Maddie. Maddie wouldn’t have this experience if not for Brianna.
A sliver of emotion coils in my belly.
I nip it in the bud, though. I don’t have time to get involved. Especially not with Brianna Steel.
“We’re friends,” I say. “But you have to understand, Brianna. When I look at you, I see—” I stop myself abruptly.
Because I was about to lie to her, to tell her I see that pretty little eight-year-old girl in cowboy boots following after her father.
But it’s a lie.
That’s not what I see when I look at her. If it were, I should probably go to jail. What I see is a beautiful, seductive, passionate woman.
A woman who—
I shake my head to clear it.
I will not go there. I will not develop feelings for her.
“You see what?”
I sigh and look to the floor. “I see…a woman whose virginity I just stole.”
“You didn’t steal it. I gave it to you.”
She’s right. “But I didn’t mean to take it,” I say. “So that makes me feel like I stole it. I know that doesn’t make any sense, but it’s how I feel.”
“I don’t want you to feel that way, Jesse. I’ve wanted to be with you for a long time.”
Oh God. Just cut my heart in two, why don’t you? I’ve seen how Brianna and the rest of the awesome foursome hang around the band. They’re all pretty, sweet young women. But the other band members and I have never thought of them in that way. Mostly because they’re all the same age as Maddie.
A ten-year age gap isn’t a bad thing. I might be fine with it if she weren’t so darned young. Even if she were twenty-five and I was thirty-five, things would be different.