Total pages in book: 76
Estimated words: 76759 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 384(@200wpm)___ 307(@250wpm)___ 256(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 76759 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 384(@200wpm)___ 307(@250wpm)___ 256(@300wpm)
I should talk about tea at Ennis Ainsley’s house. I was damned rude to her, and I should apologize.
I should do a lot of things.
But all I can think about right now is getting her back in bed.
And my God… I have a private room. I even have everything I need since my luggage was finally delivered yesterday.
She takes another sip. And then I take the first sip of mine.
She’s right. It is delicious. Perfect caramel and smoke with no harshness on the finish at all. I swirl it in my glass, watching the amber liquid flow. Thinking about how I might give my entire burgeoning career up for just one more time with Brianna Steel.
What the fuck is wrong with me?
She takes another sip of her bourbon. “Jesse, I have a question for you.”
Here it comes. Why can’t we be together? Why don’t you want to be with me? What’s wrong with me?
I brace myself for all the possibilities.
“Go ahead,” I finally say after taking another sip of bourbon.
“Why didn’t you want Maddie and me to go with Zane?”
Chapter Thirty-Five
Brianna
He doesn’t hesitate. “Because the two of you are better than that, Brianna.”
“Is that the real reason?”
“Maddie’s my little sister. I don’t like to think of her having sex with anyone. Least of all a player like Zane Michaels.”
“And what about me? I’m not your little sister.”
“Maybe not. But that’s how I always thought of you.”
I set my glass on the table. “Thought of me? You used the past tense, Jesse.”
“Of course I have to use the past tense. There’s no way I can think of you as a little sister anymore, Brianna. Not after what happened.”
My heart thumps. “We’ve been through that. It wasn’t a mistake.”
“In your opinion.”
“It wasn’t a mistake for either of us. You didn’t do anything wrong, Jesse. I know you think you did. I know you think you stole something from me, but you didn’t. I gave it to you. I knew what I was doing. I’m a big girl.”
He doesn’t say anything. Just takes another sip of his bourbon.
“For what it’s worth, I wasn’t really into the whole thing with Zane.”
“Oh? Then why did you go along with it? And why did you say you were?”
“It seemed as good a way as any to forget the person I really want.”
He looks away from me, takes another sip. Then he draws in a breath and meets my gaze. “You’re better than that.”
“Better than using sex with someone I don’t care about to forget someone I do care about? Yeah, I’d agree with you.”
“Then why were you going to do it?”
I shake my head. “Because I’m not freaking perfect, Jesse. I’m a human being. I watched you tonight, women surrounding you, and it broke my heart a little.”
He says nothing. Simply takes another sip, finally draining his drink.
“I get it. You’re not interested. I can accept that. But that doesn’t make it easy. Tonight there was a man interested in me.”
“There will always be men interested in you, Brianna. Since when have you been lacking in male attention?”
I can’t answer right away because he’s right. I’ve always had plenty of men trying to get in my pants. I want something more. I know I’m attractive, and I know I carry the Steel name. Two things that make men want me. But none of them really know me. I’ve had a few relationships, and they’ve gone okay. I cared about them, and they cared about me. But I never gave them the gift I gave Jesse, and the relationships eventually fizzled out.
Most men don’t want to wait around to have sex.
I can’t blame them really. I wanted to have sex as much as they did. Just not with them.
Finally Jesse speaks again. “What I witnessed tonight wasn’t you. And it wasn’t Maddie either.”
“Maybe not. But it’s easy to get caught up in the glamour of it all. You saw that yourself. I saw the women flocking to you.”
“You think I could have taken any of them to bed?”
“I know you could’ve. But apparently you didn’t.”
“I almost did, Brianna. Dragon and I had four girls ready to service both of us. Two of them are up with Dragon right now.”
I try to ignore the lump in my throat that forms as he tells me this. “So why didn’t you do it?”
“Because it’s not me any more than it is you.”
“You took me to bed,” I say boldly.
“I did.”
“So why not the other women, then?”
He rubs his hand up and down his face and holds up his glass up to the server as she walks by.
“Are you going to answer me?”
“I don’t have a fucking answer for you, Brianna. I wish I did. I wish I could tell you there was some reason that I allowed it to happen. I shouldn’t have. It’s not my style. And I don’t think it’s yours either.”