Total pages in book: 98
Estimated words: 95421 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 477(@200wpm)___ 382(@250wpm)___ 318(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 95421 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 477(@200wpm)___ 382(@250wpm)___ 318(@300wpm)
I felt Dawson’s eyes burning into me, but I still didn’t turn.
“Naomi,” he whispered. “Look at me.”
“Why? Do you want to see me cry when you dump me?”
“I never want to see you hurt, Naomi.” He paused. “Please look at me.”
I gave him my best icy glare, but when I saw pain in his eyes, it melted.
“I’m sorry.” His voice cracked. “I’m so damn sorry I’ve been avoiding you.”
I tasted salt in my throat, but refused to allow myself to cry. “Why? What did I do?”
He shook his head. “You didn’t do anything. I’m just a coward.”
“I don’t understand.”
He nodded. “I know. And that’s because I shut you out when I should’ve let you in. But I was too ashamed to tell you about my past.”
“Does this have something to do with Bailey?”
“It starts there. If it’s okay with you, I’d like to tell you about her.”
“Of course.”
Dawson looked down for a few moments before starting. “I met Bailey in eighth grade. Girls were just starting to get into boys, and I thought I was hot shit because a few of the popular girls liked me.” He shook his head. “Bailey called me out on my shit whenever my head started to get too big. We were best friends. She had cancer, but in tenth grade she went into remission, and boys started to notice her. Her hair grew back, and she put these blond streaks in it. She wasn’t the sick girl anymore. She was just a regular high school girl, which is really all she ever wanted. She didn’t have a lot of friends, because she was sometimes out of school for long periods of time and her treatments took all her energy. A few guys asked her out, and she even went to a dance with one of them, but she’d always find something wrong with the boys who took an interest. I teased her that her standards were too high, but I suspected she was afraid to get close to people because her cancer had come back twice already.” He paused and took a deep breath. “It came back a third time in the fall of junior year.”
“I’m sorry.”
Dawson looked straight ahead, but I didn’t think he was seeing anything, at least not what was in front of him. “She did a few treatments but then stopped. There was nothing they could do that would extend her life more than a few months, and Bailey wanted to go back to feeling like a regular high school kid again for as long as she could. She started acting strange around me, and I thought she might be trying to distance herself to make it easier when she…”
Tears filled his eyes. It no longer mattered that I was mad at him. Reaching over, I took his hand and laced our fingers together.
Dawson cleared his throat. “Anyway, her mom pulled me aside one day and told me Bailey really wanted to go to the junior prom. I hadn’t told Bailey yet, but I’d already asked Allie Papadopoulos, the girl I’d been seeing, to go with me. But there was no way in hell I could let Bailey miss junior prom if she wanted to go, so I canceled with Allie and asked Bailey instead.”
I smiled. “That was very sweet of you.”
He shook his head. “No, it wasn’t. Because I was an asshole seventeen-year-old and kept seeing Allie even though I’d told Bailey we’d broken up. Allie wasn’t happy about me going to the junior prom with someone else, but by the time the day rolled around, Allie wasn’t feeling well anyway.” Dawson took another deep breath. “Bailey’s treatments wiped her out pretty easily, so we didn’t stay at the prom long. Long story short, Bailey asked me to kiss her. She said she didn’t want to die without ever being kissed. So I kissed her—and, then, and then… I kept on kissing her…and we wound up having sex, even though I had a girlfriend and didn’t have those types of feelings for Bailey. After, she told me she loved me. I didn’t know what to say. I loved her too—just not the way she’d meant it. But I didn’t want to hurt her, so I said it back.” He paused and took a breath. “The very next morning, I woke up feeling like shit, and it wasn’t just because I’d cheated on Allie and crossed a line with my best friend. I literally felt like shit. My glands were swollen, and I was shivering even though I was sweating. A little while later, Allie called to tell me she had mono.”
Dawson closed his eyes. “I wasn’t at school the following week because I was sick. But apparently, Bailey told someone we were a couple, and it got back to Allie who was also home sick with mono. Allie got pissed and sent a text to Bailey telling her she was sleeping with me and I’d only gone to the dance with Bailey because I felt bad for her. Bailey called me crying and asked me if it was true that I was with Allie. I didn’t want to lie to her, so I came clean and told her the truth. The next week, before I could see her in person and try to fix things, Bailey came down with mono. I’d given it to her, and her weakened immune system couldn’t fight it. I broke my best friend’s heart and then killed her.”