Total pages in book: 105
Estimated words: 102719 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 514(@200wpm)___ 411(@250wpm)___ 342(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 102719 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 514(@200wpm)___ 411(@250wpm)___ 342(@300wpm)
“So what do you want to do that you haven’t done yet? What dreams haven’t we made come true for you?”
I scrunch my brow. “This isn’t a dig at you, Mom.”
Mom sighs. “You’re right. I’m sorry if I’m getting defensive, you’re just taking me totally off guard.”
“I know.” I’m crying in earnest now. “I should’ve told you this stuff. It’s my fault you have no idea about the cookbook I want to write, or that I dream about owning a restaurant—I’ve always secretly nurtured this fantasy of being, like, a southern Ina Garten. Ridiculous, I know, but . . . yeah. It’s what I wanted. What I think I still want.”
“You’ve never mentioned any of this to me.” Her eyes are wide and watery.
I nod. It’s hard to breathe around the moon in my throat. “I’m scary good at hiding things, aren’t I? I was worried you wouldn’t get it. That you wouldn’t approve because it all sounds so ridiculous. I know it’s not the life you pictured for me, and I hate the idea of disappointing you.”
Mom is quiet for a long beat. “We just want you to be safe, your father and I. Safe and happy. As much as I love the idea of you being the next Ina, what you’re talking about would be a big change, Louise.”
I clear my throat. “It’s Lu now.”
“You know Louise is a special name to me.” Mom purses her lips. “Like I was saying, this new path you’re talking about would be a huge change. And I’m not sure the timing is right. A lot has happened in the past few weeks, and maybe you just need to . . . take a breath? Take some time to yourself and heal before committing to something—someone—else.”
Again, she’s got a point. Am I being willfully reckless, jumping headfirst into whatever this thing is with Riley? Revisiting dreams I gave up on years ago?
Or am I doing what I should’ve done all along?
My stomach is in a knot. I’m panicking, I know I am, because I hear the disappointment in Mom’s answer. In her apprehension.
We both look down when my phone chimes in my lap. A text, from Riley.
Riley Dixon
Think I can pick you up early tonight? Say around five? I have a surprise for you. We can drive to the rehearsal together after.
Despite the knot in my middle, excitement streaks through me. I can’t wait to see him again. I have no idea what the surprise might be, but honestly, it doesn’t matter. I just left his place, and already I can’t wait to go back.
“Riley was always a hard worker, I’ll give him that.” Mom squeezes my hand. “Promise me you’ll be careful?”
“When have I ever not been careful?”
Maybe that’s the problem. I’m careful, and more than that, I’m always careful with other people’s feelings.
Everyone’s except my own.
twenty-one
Riley
Blue Balls
I rap on the door at five ’til five. Sliding my hand into the pocket of my slacks, I smile when I realize I’ve only been waiting ten-plus years to do this.
Pick up Lu Wade at her front door.
It’s simple. Kinda stupid. But I still get a full body rush that I’m finally able to do it. More than any other milestone—first company, first deal, first million—this is the one that makes me feel like I’ve arrived.
The door opens. Lu stands inside. She’s in a slinky pink dress and heels, her dark hair parted down the middle and slicked back in a simple, sexy updo. She’s wearing big gold earrings and a huge smile.
“Hey!”
The smile. The eyes. That dress, it’s elegant and insanely hot at the same time—
She didn’t invite me in, but I step inside anyway. I put my feet on either side of hers on the wood floor Mom used to scrub. I cup Lu’s face in my hand. Press my body against hers. And I kiss her.
Her mouth is hot and soft. Same as the little moan she gives me when I suck on her bottom lip.
“Hey, Legs.” It comes out as a growl. “You look beautiful.”
Her hands find my waist. “Thanks. You don’t look so bad yourself, handsome.” She hooks a finger through my belt loop. “I kinda like you dressed up. Not as much as I like you shirtless, of course. And the baseball hat is always hot too—”
“You love a hat, but I’m pretty sure you’re not allowed to wear them to fancy wedding events.” I grin. “I clean up okay, right?”
“You clean up more than okay.” Aunt Lady is coming down the stairs. She’s dressed up too—she and Mrs. Wade are invited to tonight’s cocktail hour after the rehearsal—and she lets out a low whistle when she takes in my linen suit and Gucci loafers. “Riley, you are pure fire.”
“She’s the fire.” I nod at Lu. “I’m just playin’ backup.”