Total pages in book: 112
Estimated words: 112567 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 563(@200wpm)___ 450(@250wpm)___ 375(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 112567 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 563(@200wpm)___ 450(@250wpm)___ 375(@300wpm)
She pointed at me. “I need you to promise to return Chanel’s body to her family.”
I wanted to glare or even growl, but I couldn’t. Had it been anyone else, I would have disregarded that demand.
Monique held out her hands. “I’m going to talk to Chen about giving my father’s body to Banks today. How about you let him make plans to give Chanel’s body to her family.”
Chanel would leave me today? No.
I couldn’t even speak. Instead, I shook my head.
“Then when, Lei?”
I spoke through clenched teeth, “The earliest I can do that is. . .after my father is gone. Once that happens, I want to sit next to Chanel’s body and tell her about it.”
“Her spirit would have already seen it. You don’t need to keep her corpse, Lei. Let her family bury her the right way.”
“This is what I want.”
“That’s not fair to her family, Lei. You’re being insane and selfish.”
“I don’t care.”
With a painful heaviness in her voice, Monique whispered, “Then. . .I’m sorry, but I can’t be by your side this week.”
Her words pierced through the air like poison-tipped darts.
My insides violently spun in turmoil.
She checked behind me. “Uncle Song is still here. I’ll ride back with him.”
Monique walked off.
Fast, I lunged forward.
She shrieked.
I caught her arm and pulled her back towards me, until her body warmed against mine.
She shivered against me, lifted her view, and widened her eyes. “Let me go.”
“I can’t do that either.”
Chapter twenty-nine
An Emotional Rollercoaster
Lei
I gripped Monique’s arm like a shipwrecked sailor clinging onto the last piece of driftwood in a chaotic sea.
Her pulse beat against my fingertips. It was urgent drumming, intoxicating and empowering yet also driving me insane.
Our bodies were so close that her warmth felt like an inferno, burning away every rational thought until nothing but pure emotion remained.
My having Chanel’s body made Monique no longer want to be a part of my shit show.
Now the choices were to either keep Monique hostage or release her.
Of course, I could see the arguments for both sides.
On one hand, letting Monique go meant respecting her wishes and honoring her feelings.
It meant doing what was morally right and just.
But, on the other hand, keeping Monique meant not being alone, and not being forced to confront the gaping hole left by Chanel’s death. It meant retaining some semblance of comfort, even if it was just an illusion.
In my heart, I knew that holding Monique against her will was wrong. Yet, the thought of being alone, of finally letting go of Chanel, felt tragic and harmful too.
Here, I found myself in this philosophical tug-of-war that left me feeling raw and exposed.
I exhaled, the sound harsh and shaky. My grip on Monique’s arm relaxed. I slipped my fingers down to her wrist.
Her brown eyes met mine.
“Lei,” she pleaded, her voice barely above a whisper. “Let me go.”
My voice grew rough with emotion. “If I won’t let a dead woman leave me, and you. . .so warm, so soft—”
“Lei. . .” She swallowed. “I’m not Chanel, and I’m not dead. You will not keep me against my will.”
“I kept you yesterday.”
“It was a fucked-up day, and I wanted to stay. That’s the difference.” She tried to yank her wrist away and step back.
I kept her next to me. “I will give Chanel back after I kill my father. Compromise with me on that.”
“That’s not fair to her family.”
“You don’t even know her family—”
“I don’t need to know her family to care about them.” She scowled at me. “And the fact that you are not considering their feelings is the reason why I don’t want to be by your side.”
Her words were shards of glass tearing through my heart.
I gritted my teeth. “Don’t say that.”
“I can’t help it. I’m disappointed. I thought you were better than this.”
Fuck.
I closed my eyes.
Keeping Chanel’s body with me was a strange, morbid desire to possess something that was irrevocably lost.
I knew that.
But Chanel’s body was my last tangible link to a past life that had slipped away fast like sand through my fingers. Letting it go would mean the end, the true end, and I was terrified of that finality.
I opened my eyes.
Monique still had her gaze on me.
And here she was—this new woman that I had just met yesterday. Somehow so quickly, she had become my lifeline to the present. My beacon in the fog of grief and loss.
In such a short time, she gave me warmth and laughter, love and comfort.
She brought light to my darkness.
I spoke through clenched teeth, “Don’t force me to do this.”
“Then, don’t you force me to do this either.”
I glared. “You promised you would stay with me.”
“I didn’t have all the necessary information.”
“Doesn’t matter.”
“Lei, it really does.”
I let out a long breath. “Don’t make me do this to you, Monique.”
“Do what to me?”
“Truly keep you hostage.”