Total pages in book: 112
Estimated words: 112567 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 563(@200wpm)___ 450(@250wpm)___ 375(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 112567 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 563(@200wpm)___ 450(@250wpm)___ 375(@300wpm)
Fuck.
Then, another kind of panic surged through me.
I could not let her leave my side, not when she had provided me with so much comfort. Not when she had wrapped me into her healing heart.
I gritted my teeth.
Who fucking told her?
I couldn’t bear the thought of losing Monique, not after everything we had shared. I had already lost so much. This meant that if Monique decided she wanted to leave my side because I had Chanel’s body, I would make Monique stay anyway.
And that would not only destroy me, it would shatter the beauty of our situation.
My fingers itched to get the handcuffs.
She raised her eyebrows. “Lei, I need you to be completely honest with me.”
“I. . .” My voice went hoarse with emotion. I took a deep breath, steadying myself.
She leaned her head to the side.
“Yes.” I crossed my arms over my chest. “I still have her body.”
The silence that followed was deafening. I held Monique’s gaze, my fear battling with my hope. I braced myself for her reaction, for her shock, for her next questions.
Monique said nothing and put her gaze on the rippling water. Her expression was unreadable.
Terror washed over my body.
What is going on in her mind?
She kept her view on the water. “Why did you take her body?”
“Because. . .if she was buried, if her body went into the ground. . .then she truly would be gone forever.” My eyes watered. A cold shiver sliced up my spine. “Because. . .since my father killed her, I’ve felt this. . .overwhelming sense of loss and despair. But, with her close by. . .I still feel connected to her. I can even pretend like. . .she’s not truly dead.”
“Do you. . .” Monique hugged herself. “Do you go to her body?”
Nervous, I ran my fingers through my hair. “I haven’t gone to her since I captured you.”
She looked at me. “But. . .when you go to her, what do you do?”
My heart constricted at the question.
I took a deep breath before answering. “I sit next to Chanel and talk to her. I tell her everything that’s going on. Sometimes I. . .”
Monique watched me.
Tears threatened to spill over my lids, but I fought them back and looked at the sky.
To my shock, two black crows glided on the currents of cool air and then began circling Mount Utopia’s peak.
Monique’s voice pulled me back to her. “Sometimes, you do what?”
I put my view back on her and a tear fell from my eye. “Sometimes, I brush Chanel’s hair and remind her of our memories, but I stopped a day ago because. . .strands started coming out of her scalp. . .”
“The body is decaying?”
“The funeral home embalmed her.” I wiped the tear away and put my view back on the sky. But the crows were no longer there. “Chen warned me that the fluids wouldn’t completely preserve her body. They would just delay decomposition.”
Monique continued to study me. “And?”
I eyed her. “And what?”
“Do you do. . .other things?”
I frowned. “Why does everyone think I am having sex with Chanel’s body?”
Monique widened her eyes. “Because it is bananas crazy to even have it, so all types of insane things would come to our minds.”
“You think that I would wait all of my life to save my virginity for Chanel, and then have my first time be with her corpse?”
“I just met you.”
I scowled. “Yet, you know me better than most.”
“Do I?”
“Yes.”
She placed her view back on the water. “Who did Chanel leave behind?”
“Her mother, younger sister, friends, and family.”
Monique shook her head. “Lei, you’re not only delaying your grieving of Chanel, but you may be holding them back from saying goodbye.”
Tension gathered in my shoulders as I saw her face cloud over with disappointment.
“It’s not right, Lei.”
Silence stretched between us once again, and the weight of it was suffocating.
Monique’s words echoed in my mind. I knew that she was right. But the thought of letting go of Chanel, even in death, felt unbearable.
Monique looked at me. “How are you going to fix this, Lei?”
The line of my jaw twitched.
“I don’t know a lot about the Diamond Syndicate, Four Aces, or even Rowe Street Mob. Fuck. I don’t know shit about a lot of stuff.” Monique shrugged. “But I do know that you are better than this, and if you are the Mountain Master, then you have to truly be an example to your men.”
My heart ached.
“When my mother passed, I would have loved to hold on to her body, too, but I had to say goodbye to her physical form.” Monique unfolded her arms and touched her chest. “Because in the end, she still lives in my heart. That part of my mother will never leave. That will be true for you too.”
Monique’s words hit me harder today than any of the men in the sparring session earlier.