Total pages in book: 150
Estimated words: 142818 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 714(@200wpm)___ 571(@250wpm)___ 476(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 142818 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 714(@200wpm)___ 571(@250wpm)___ 476(@300wpm)
VIOLET
“How am I going to tell Swiss?” I asked Mom, taking the mascara wand she handed me.
We were in her and Swiss’s bathroom, both of us reapplying our makeup. The stone counters and double sinks were beautiful, the tones similar to Mom’s restaurant, leaning toward a desert vibe, neutrals and rough textures.
The counters were littered with beauty products, perfumes. It was clean but not painstakingly organized like her other bathroom had been.
Although this was only the beginning of what I guessed was going to be a very long, complicated and possibly violent journey, I felt much lighter.
I’d cried for what seemed like hours.
But no one had sent a search party, and Swiss would definitely come looking for his wife if she was out of his sight for too long.
Elden would look for me too. I knew that. No matter where I walked in this world, he’d be beside me. Or not far behind.
“You’re not going to tell him anything,” my mother said firmly, looking at me in the mirror. “Nor is Elden, though you’re probably going to have to convince him on that because he’ll surely have some ideas about having a ‘man to man’ talk with my husband.” She rolled her eyes. “The only reason I know he’s not doing it right now is because it’s a child’s birthday party, and even though Declan is going to grow up to be a badass, one is a little young to witness a gunfight.”
I felt the blood leave my face. “Do you think Swiss will really hurt him?”
“He’ll want to,” she squeezed my arm. “These men are wonderful and unlike any other, but they are also men at the end of the day. And when it comes to those they care about, those they think it’s their job to protect, they tend to err on the side of violence because they seem to think that solves everything.” She rolled her eyes again. “It’s probably not going to be pretty,” she sighed. “And it’s probably going to take Swiss some time. Swiss may be reactive and overly dramatic, but he is also a romantic.” She winked. “He loves you and just wants you to be happy.”
I put the mascara down, relieved.
“Plus, when he finds out you're pregnant, he’s not going to kill or maim the father of his grandchild,” she added with a wink.
That really did not make me feel better.
“Ready?” she asked.
I looked at myself in the mirror. My eyes were still red, my face a little blotchy, but I felt different, stronger, less alone. I hadn’t realized what a toll it had taken on me, keeping all of that inside, keeping my mother on the outside.
“Ready,” I told her.
We walked back into the party together.
“We need the candles, Countess!” Swiss yelled from outside, proving that we’d chosen the right time to finish our conversation. “And the cake.”
Mom shook her head, smiling with her whole face. Her whole soul. She took a moment to kiss the side of my head.
“Are you going to be okay?” she asked quietly.
I looked out to the party. “Yeah,” I replied.
She gave me one more look before walking toward the kitchen. I went outside, intending on eating since I was suddenly ravenous without all that toxic truth taking up space.
He was on me the second I stopped at the large table of food.
“You okay, baby?” Elden murmured, coming to stand beside me at a distance that was much closer than he’d ever risked.
I glanced around. Mom was in the kitchen preparing the cake, Swiss in there with her and Declan. All of his focus was on them. Everyone else was distracted with their own children or wives.
“I’m fine,” I told him, taking a carrot from the table and nibbling on it. I searched the table that was overflowing with all kinds of snacks. “I’d love a glass of wine,” I groaned, staring longingly at the ice bucket.
Elden chuckled.
Chuckled.
Like we didn’t have my stepfather’s reaction to my pregnancy right before us. Like we didn’t have my pregnancy and the life of our child right ahead of us.
Like he didn’t have a care in the world. Though that was vaguely worrying, I could not help but marvel at what Elden looked like when he chuckled. How he held himself. It was no longer as if the world was on his shoulders. There was something freer about him. And that was because of me. Of us.
“You’re really happy about this.” I leaned forward, closer to him than I should’ve been, brushing up against the edges of his cut.
Elden looked down at me. “I’m really fuckin’ happy about this, baby.”
The air buzzed with electricity. I drifted off somewhere different. Somewhere ours. I was about to go up on my tiptoes, clutch onto his cut and kiss him in front of everyone.