Total pages in book: 143
Estimated words: 136743 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 684(@200wpm)___ 547(@250wpm)___ 456(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 136743 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 684(@200wpm)___ 547(@250wpm)___ 456(@300wpm)
“These canine analogies really are unfortunate,” I mumble.
“He was with his family,” Hendrix continues as if I hadn’t spoken. “His ex-wife, her husband, and Judah’s twin sons. All Black, blended, and healthy. It was a beautiful sight to behold, honestly. They wanted to go to Sol’s pavilion, but the only tickets left were for the last seating of the night, and they had to leave. But guess what?”
“What?” Lola asks, elbows propped on her knees.
“Judah left with his family.” Hendrix allows a dramatic pause. Of course she does. “And came back, honey. Came back to see our girl, and I wasn’t there, but Yasmen said that man was following Soledad all night with his eyes.”
“That is so dramatic,” I say.
Hendrix points one almond-shaped nail at me. “But accurate!”
“You weren’t even there,” I tell her with an exasperated laugh.
“Did Yas lie?” Hendrix challenges. “Be honest, and remember I haven’t even told Lola yet how he ordered your focaccia basket so he could see you when you delivered it.”
“He didn’t even know I would be the one who brought it,” I say lamely. “He just wanted… he wanted to support me.”
“Awwwww.” Lola presses one hand over her heart. “Sol, why haven’t you told me and Nay about this man?”
“There’s nothing to tell,” I lie, picking up a decorative pillow to give my hands something to do. “He’s a great guy. I admit there’s an attraction.” I close my eyes and lick my lips, memory tasting the scorching heat of Judah’s kiss at the Christmas party. “But I’m dating myself right now,” I remind them… and myself.
“You can’t fuck yourself,” Hendrix blurts.
“Well, technically…,” Lola ventures with a wicked note in her voice.
“If you mention that strap-on again,” I hiss, “and Lottie walks in here, your ass is mine.”
Hendrix and I fall back into the cushions laughing, and Lola bends over, shoulders shaking with her own mirth. And I needed this. Talking with them feels like a gasket has been twisted loose so all the emotions and doubts I’ve bottled up can finally fly free.
“I really like him,” I whisper in the after-quiet of our bawdy laughter, swiping my hands over my face. “I mean… like really like him.”
I look up to find both women watching me with a mix of curiosity and surprise.
“We kissed,” I confess.
“Bitch, when?” Hendrix demands, sitting up straight and poking my shoulder.
“Owwww.” I massage the sore spot. “Hen, I hate it when you do that. What the hell?”
“No, you what the hell,” Hendrix fires back. “How you not gon’ tell me and Yas you kissed the accountant?”
“Or your sisters.” Lola reaches toward me.
“If you pinch me,” I warn her, “I swear I’ll put you in a headlock.”
Lola slowly withdraws her hand. “She’s small, but wriggly. I never won a wrestling match on our living room floor with this one.”
“When did you kiss the accountant?” Hendrix asks.
“Shhh.” I crane my neck to peer down the hall. “I don’t want the girls to hear. We’ve gone through too much over the last year. Too much transition and all the confusion with Edward for me to even think about dating this soon. Not to mention Inez still blames Judah for Edward being in prison.”
“Okay,” Hendrix says, her voice lowered. “But when did it happen?”
Single-minded heifer.
“At the CalPot Christmas party last week,” I admit.
“How was it?” Lola whispers.
“It was… good.” I understate, unwilling to go much further for fear of revealing how many times I’ve replayed that kiss. “Really good.”
“He knows you’re on the self-partnering tip right now?” Lola asks.
“Yeah. He said he’ll wait for me.” I hazard a look from one to the other, finding the swoon response I knew would be there. “That’s good, right?”
“Well, yeah.” Hendrix shrugs. “But only if you’re into patient, kind men who look like Idris and could save you thousands on your taxes.”
“I can’t believe you didn’t tell me this was going on,” Lola says.
“It’s not going on exactly.” I twist my fingers in my lap. “It’s not something that can happen, at least not right now, for several reasons, so I don’t talk about it much because it might make me want it to happen even more and now.”
“If it’s like that”—Lola grabs my hand and squeezes—“maybe it wouldn’t be so bad to explore a little of what it could be.”
“Edward took so much from me.” I release a hollow laugh. “Not to mention all that I surrendered because I thought we were in this together when he was in it for himself. I just need some space of my own. I don’t trust myself right now, much less trust another man. I’m building a new foundation for me and my girls, and I won’t compromise that for the first man who shows interest in me.”
“Just don’t think that self-partnering has to be cold turkey,” Hendrix says. “I know you are learning a lot about yourself right now, but you deserve some pleasure, Sol. Being powerful means you can set your own boundaries. Make your own rules. If you want to kiss a guy but not be in a relationship, kiss a guy and don’t feel guilty about it.”