Total pages in book: 91
Estimated words: 87368 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 437(@200wpm)___ 349(@250wpm)___ 291(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 87368 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 437(@200wpm)___ 349(@250wpm)___ 291(@300wpm)
Tears start to fall because he’s wrong; I do need them. I was just too embarrassed to face them. “Strong-arm me, huh?”
He shrugs, unapologetic. “I don’t think I need him to do anything, but I promised I wouldn’t get our parents involved. So here I am, keeping my promise.”
His promise of never leaving Arwen burns in my brain. Leads my heart to ache. And makes me breathless.
I take a shaky breath before I whisper, “If I do come home, it’s not for you.”
“I understand.”
“There is no us,” I tell him, hoping he believes me.
Because I sure don’t.
“We will be her parents, but you broke me,” I tell him, meeting his watery gaze. “I won’t ever put myself out there for you to break me again.”
Pain moves across his face as he holds my gaze. He inhales a deep breath and then looks down at Arwen, cuddling her closer. “I understand. I just want to be her dad.”
Why do his words hurt?
Why doesn’t he fight for us?
Because you hid his kid, you asshole.
That’s fine. I don’t need him.
I may never have his heart, but I have a piece of him in the form of Arwen, and that’s more than enough.
And way easier.
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
I’m not sure where Thatcher stayed for the night, but it killed me to see Arwen cry when he left. I almost broke and asked him to stay—for her, of course—but I have to set my boundaries or Thatcher Orlov will plow his way back into my heart. Like he promised Arwen before he walked out the door last night, he came back first thing in the morning with leftover boxes from downstairs for packing and breakfast for all of us. I totally ignored him as I tended to Arwen and got ready for the day.
My anxiety is through the roof.
I have worked myself into a tizzy, assuming the absolute worst. That the lawyer will come in with child services and they’ll take my daughter. That if I disagree about one thing, Thatcher will strong-arm me into whatever he wants. Or that it won’t be just the lawyer but my parents too. They would be so upset, thinking I’m a poor excuse for a mother, and help Thatcher take Arwen away.
I know—wow. Breathe, Audrina—but for real, I have completely worked myself up.
My heart is beating way too fast, and I hate feeling like this. Like everything is completely out of control. I guess, in a way, it is. I feel like I did when I found out I was pregnant and didn’t know what to do. I couldn’t trust anyone but myself, and after years of having a safety net, I was lost. I’m not that girl anymore, though. I am a mom, a good mom, and I’ve got this. I have protected and loved Arwen enough for an army of people. She is thriving, and no one will even suggest taking her from me.
I jump when I feel a large hand press to the small of my back. I look up in the mirror to find Thatcher watching me. His brows are furrowed, his mouth turned down as worry lines his features. His hair looks tousled, and his beard is a little wild this morning. His IceCats hat hangs loosely on his head. Dark circles are under his eyes, yet I still find him unbelievably beautiful. He wears a crisp white shirt and blue slacks that look brand-new. He must have gone to the Walmart last night.
His voice is rough as he asks, “You okay?”
His question confuses me. Why would he care? “I’m fine.”
“You don’t look fine,” he tells me, not removing his hand, and really, why aren’t I moving it? Instead, I stay locked in his knowing gaze. Because this man does know me. Inside and out, and I wish he didn’t. If not, he wouldn’t know that I’m freaking out or that I need his touch. It’s so familiar, and I hate how much I crave it.
I shrug. “I’m fine.”
I finally force myself away from him and head over to where Arwen is playing with her dollhouse. I crouch down in front of her and take in my sweet girl. She’s wearing a little Bluey jumpsuit with her hair in pigtails. She notices me and grins up at me. I smile back and sign, We have a lot of errands today. It’ll be a busy day.
She nods. Okay. Why so many boxes?
I was hoping she wouldn’t notice, but I should have known better. She’s too observant not to wonder. I don’t want to give her false hope, because if this lawyer comes in hot, I’m taking off the first chance I get. Not sure how I’ll do that, but while I tossed and turned beside her last night, that was the only thing I could come up with.