Total pages in book: 91
Estimated words: 87368 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 437(@200wpm)___ 349(@250wpm)___ 291(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 87368 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 437(@200wpm)___ 349(@250wpm)___ 291(@300wpm)
I ran.
I left everything I knew, and I didn’t look back.
I have loved my best friend since I the moment I knew what love was. While I adore a good best-friends-to-lovers trope, that was never our story. We danced around each other, skated along the line but didn’t cross it, and I never knew why. Until one night, I took matters into my own hands. Doing a challenge from social media, I thought I had my best friend right where I wanted him.
As mine.
Just when I thought we were going to be together forever in the all the ways I had dreamed of, he pulled the rug out from under me. He broke my heart in a matter of seconds, and I had no choice but to take off.
After three years, I thought I was in the clear; I thought I’d never see him again, and I was finally building a life. Maybe not one I’d wanted, but one I loved.
I should have known better.
Thatcher Orlov would never give up.
He’s found me, and now I not only have to face him, but everything I left behind.
And everything I’ve hidden.
Thatcher
It’s not everyone who can say their best friend was born the same day as they were and slept in the bassinet beside them in the hospital.
But Audrina and I can.
She is all I’ve known my whole life.
Every huge moment, Audrina was there. When I was drafted, when I won my gold medals, and even through all my hockey-related injuries. She had always been my rock, my stable ground when everything felt off-kilter. We spent our whole lives in some kind of limbo where it felt like we were in a relationship, but we weren’t. While the lines were blurred, my feelings for her weren’t.
It took one song to ignite a fire brighter than any I’d ever witnessed, but I ruined it all by letting my jealousy get in the way. She took off, leaving me behind. And in the three years since she left, there hasn’t been a moment I haven’t been looking for her. I need her—not only as my best friend, but as mine.
But now, I’ve not only found her…I’ve found she isn’t alone.
My world is turned upside down in a matter of seconds, and while I’m know for my chirping on the ice, her voice is the sweetest chirp I’ve ever heard
*************FULL BOOK START HERE*************
PLAYLIST
Electric Love - BORNS
I’ll Find You - Lecrae
Brush Fire - Gracie Abrams
I was Made for Lovin’ You - YUNGBLUD
Till Forever Falls Apart, ASHE
Mess it Up - Gracie Abrams
Save Tonight - Zayde Wolf
Bad Blood - Taylor Swift and Kendrick Lamar
Everything has Change - Taylor Swift and Ed Sheeran
Always - Isak Danielson
Hold On - Jonas Brothers
Rewrite the Stars - James Arthur and Anne-Marie
One Thing Right - Kane Brown
My Little Girl - Tim McGraw
Noah Kahan: Forever
LETTER ONE
Mom and Dad,
So, don’t freak out, K?
I know that’s dumb to say, because I’m sure as soon as you saw this letter, you got that feeling. That feeling that something was wrong. Being incredible parents, you’ve already known something has been off for the last week or so. You probably knew while I was writing this letter, even with me across town in my apartment.
I hate that I lied to you all week when you asked if I was okay. I’m not. My head is such a mess that I don’t even know what is up and what is down. I don’t know who I am anymore. I don’t know who Thatch— This isn’t about him. I mean, it is, but it isn’t.
Don’t hate him, K?
I’m sorry to run off like this. I feel like everything is out of control, and I can’t seem to find my footing. It’s all on me. As you’ve told me time and time again, I made this bed, I’ve gotta lie in it. You two have done nothing but love me, and I’m sorry to do this to you. All you’ve ever done is take care of me and do what I want. You love me even though I’m not biologically yours, and I will forever be grateful for that. I can’t begin to thank you enough for always keeping me near the Orlovs and keeping us as a unit. I begged and pleaded to stay with them, and now I’m running from all of you.
I have to, though, because I know you two will protect me, coddle me, instead of pushing me to be better. I need to be better. I need a reset. I need to breathe and figure out what the hell is going on in my head. Gosh, I sound so selfish, and I probably am. I’m running away without saying goodbye or even explaining myself fully. I’m sorry. I really am. I hate to do this, but you’ve raised me to be the best version of myself.
You saved me from a shitty home life, and I haven’t been who you raised lately. I don’t even like myself right now. I need to discover who I am without the safety net you guys give me so freely. Please believe, I’m so damn sorry. Also, please don’t look for me. Don’t hire people to find me. I’ll be back. I don’t know if it’ll be months or years, but I promise to come back.
Please keep an eye on Ingrid for me. On Tuesday and Thursday, she has a class with these three assholes who like to try to turn off her hearing aids and act like they’re signing to her, but they’re just making fun of her. She gets really sad on those days, and with…her brother’s season starting, she’ll be extra down. Not that Maeve and Don don’t take great care of her, but just maybe send a text on those days to make sure she’s okay. I offered to hit the guys with my car, but she declined. Please let the Orlovs know I love them too, and that I’m sorry for the pain I’ve caused.
Sorry won’t ever be enough for you two, but I am. I love you. So much, and I’ll see you soon.
Audrina
LETTER TWO
Ingrid,
Don’t hate me, K? I know you don’t understand, and I know you’re going to be so upset when you realize what I’ve done. Feel all that, but know I am doing this because I have no choice. I know our parents are going to freak out and lose their damn minds. When they try to look for me, remind them I don’t want that. I’ve moved all my money from my savings to a new account, got a burner phone, and even have a new identity lined up, so I’m not playing around. I really need to figure out what the hell I’m doing. I have loved you like a little sister, and I want to be a person you’re proud of. Who you’re proud to love. Someone to look up to. Right now, I’m not.
Tell your mom and dad, and hell, mine, not to be too hard on him. What happened between us was really shitty. He said things that, while they hurt like a bitch, were also a huge wake-up call. We have so much history between us. You guys are always with me. We’re two families, but we might as well be one. You are my sister in all the ways except for blood, and I’ll always love you. There won’t be a moment when I’m not thinking of you. I’ll be back, K? But for now, I have to take off with my tail between my legs.