Total pages in book: 153
Estimated words: 140462 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 702(@200wpm)___ 562(@250wpm)___ 468(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 140462 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 702(@200wpm)___ 562(@250wpm)___ 468(@300wpm)
Only he knew the insecurity-inducing flaws that needed filling, padding, and obscuring from everyone else. The fact that Hawk has seen me naked many times already, without all the adornments, and still calls me beautiful is a revelation I can’t quite believe.
I miss hearing his opinion about my wedding outfit, as he has spared me no compliments since the night we met. I blush just thinking about the way he guided my hand to his crotch before we even made proper introductions.
“A marriage can be dissolved, but the bond I will be making tonight, one with a Dark Companion, can only be cut by death, so you must understand why I am slightly…” I trail off, because why am I even telling her this? It must be Hawk’s influence and the time I spent in the human realm. It’s not like me to make my vulnerabilities known. I’d be eaten alive at the Nocturne Court otherwise.
She exhales and approaches a little wooden console, which opens to reveal cups, and bottles of wine. She fills a metal goblet before handing it to me. “No, I understand, but you don’t get married thinking that it’s going to be dissolved, do you? When I met my wife, she felt like a creature from a different world. Always smiled, never spared me compliments, had such an ease talking to anyone she met. Her tribe visited my village to sell dreams on stage, and I was enchanted.
“Coming from a family of warriors, I’ve been taught that providing entertainment is a dishonorable way to live, but she was so beautiful, so kind, and she seemed to understand me in ways my family never could. I knew I would not be permitted to return if I put down my sword, but a few days later, I left with the theater, and with my wife. It was a huge risk, yes, but I never regretted that choice.”
I give her a shy glance. Neither a servant nor a royal would ever open up to me so casually at court. I have heard one of my cousins, Prince Tristan Bloodweed, chatter about inane things without shame, but never to me.
It’s… nice. To be included, instead of treated like a shard of ice better left untouched.
I take a sip of wine. Just a tiny one, since my mother often warned me that with my stature I am bound to get intoxicated all too fast. As soon as I think about her, it hits me that she is influencing my life even now, when I’m so far away. Perhaps I’m not really afraid to make my forever vows to Hawk, but rather of her judgement?
I straighten and look into Ivy’s eyes. “So… you know what it’s like to leave behind all you’ve been taught to believe for the person you love?”
She offers me a brilliant smile. “It was the best decision I ever made. Sometimes… we are not best suited for the conditions of our birth. But there’s always something beyond the bend of the road. Something that might feel perfect. Like baking cakes and watching my wife perform on stage. She changed my life forever, and I believe that human could do the same for you. The way he looks at you…” She places her hands on her breast and sighs.
I melt a little, feeling my cheeks heat up. She can see it too?
Hawk’s not bound by the rules I’ve been subjected to, and despite the betrayals he has suffered, he opened up to me. And maybe, just maybe, Ivy was right when she suggested it’s not me who has been born unsuitable for my family, but that my family that was unsuitable for me. I don’t even notice the absence of my parents or dead siblings.
Yet when I think of Hawk, I miss him as if we have been apart for centuries, not an hour. My chest aches, my fingers yearn for him, and the need to make him mine forever is unbearable.
“He is… he is indeed…” The words I wish to speak are not meant for her. I need to say them to Hawk. Not in an hour or two. Now. “Ivy, I know Fenren said I am not to see Hawk before the party, but I’m sure you’d understand that—”
She smirks and lifts her palm. “Say no more.”
I offer her a shy smile I’ve only learned since meeting Hawk. It’s a vulnerable expression, yet with him I feel free to show my true thoughts in ways I never dared.
“Let me guess, you want to take a sneak peek at his wedding outfit?” she whispers with a giggle, and grabs my hand, as if we were old friends, not a royal and a tavern worker.
I let her guide me though, and it’s only when we reach a door at the other end of the room that old worries flood my mind. What if there’s another shadow-wielder here, and he too tries to steal my promised? An assassin could be hiding nearby, ready to cut my throat, so that I meet Tassarion’s fate. They would then be free to coerce Hawk into an arrangement in my stead.