Total pages in book: 28
Estimated words: 26774 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 134(@200wpm)___ 107(@250wpm)___ 89(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 26774 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 134(@200wpm)___ 107(@250wpm)___ 89(@300wpm)
But Acacia was shaking her head, tears streaming down her face. The monitors shrilled as her heart rate spiked dangerously.
"Please get out."
"Let me—"
"Get out!" Her voice broke on the words, and the monitors shrilled as her heart rate spiked dangerously.
The nurses entered her room just as she cried out, and Ronan knew that would be it for him. He saw her curl into a ball as he rose to his feet, his heart shattering at the sight.
"Acacia—"
One of the nurses shook her head at him. "I'm sorry, Dr. Slater. But we need you to vacate the room."
Ronan stepped out, each movement feeling like he was dragging himself through quicksand. And as soon as the door closed behind him, he heard her start to cry, the sound muffled but unmistakable.
And this sound...
This was also how it sounded if the sun was to stop shining for good.
Chapter Twelve
THE DESERT AIR OF NAMJA wraps around me like a warm embrace as I stand on the private balcony of one of the guest suites in the royal palace. It's been two weeks since I had left Hartland. Two weeks since I last cried. Two weeks since Ronan broke my heart and shattered my dreams.
Did you want me the first time because I look like your ex?
I still remember how he had stared at me, and how the raw look on his handsome face had given me all the answers I didn't want to hear even when he had yet to say a word.
"Your tea is here, milady."
The attendant's soft accented English draws me out of my thoughts, and I turn around to muster up a smile of thanks even when I still feel numb. The only time my heart starts beating again is when I feel my daughter kick inside of me...or when it starts to ache so, so badly every time I'm alone in my room at night, and I'm crying out to God.
Help me.
Please.
I can't do this alone.
I tuck my knees under my chin as I watch the sun set, and all I can think of is how God is still so good to me. I don't even know why this surprises me after everything, but it does.
It's because of God that I have friends like Story and Raj. They had taken one look at me in that hospital room, and they had immediately flown me out of Hartland, their tone gentle but brooking no argument as they told me I needed time to rest and heal.
Heartache can't possibly be good for the baby, but the royal physician had run some tests yesterday, and he had assured me that there was nothing to worry about.
Blake and Thornton had given me a ring a couple of days ago, and my boss had gruffly assured me that I could come back to work for them anytime. I wish I could, really. But every time I think about having to run into him...
My fingers tremble as I reach for my tea. It slowly runs down my throat as I take a sip, but its heat and strong taste are no longer capable of distracting me from my pain.
"I want to forget him, God."
The words escape my lips like a prayer, but only silence answers me. I've been waiting—night after night—for that gentle voice of guidance I've come to rely on. But there's nothing. Just the endless desert wind and the hollow ache in my chest.
"I don't think we'll ever work. There's too much baggage."
I wait, hoping for some sign, some whisper of direction, but God remains quiet.
"Please talk to me."
My voice breaks on the last word.
Please.
Night falls across Namja, the evening skies made bright by stars that seem so exquisitely close, that it almost feels like I can reach and pluck them out from the heavens. An attendant brings me dinner, and it's a veritable feast. I'm sure it all tastes good, but I find myself eating only for my daughter's sake.
And after that, I lie back on my very comfortable bed, thinking that it's going to be another sleepless night.
But it's not.
When I turn to lie on my side and face the outside world through the sliding doors of the balcony, I feel something inside of me slowly peeling away. It takes me a while to realize that it's the shock of Ronan's deception finally wearing off, and the pain of our breakup is no longer enough to keep my heart from beating the way it used to.
My mind starts working more clearly, and a choked sob slips past my lips when I start seeing and hearing things I couldn't see and hear before.
I'm sorry, God.
I was so lost in my pain that all I cared about was what I wanted.
What I thought was right.
It was all about me.
I was acting like You didn't know these things would happen.