Total pages in book: 88
Estimated words: 81488 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 407(@200wpm)___ 326(@250wpm)___ 272(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 81488 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 407(@200wpm)___ 326(@250wpm)___ 272(@300wpm)
“What did you realize?”
“That the tree wasn’t the source of my nightmares… being lost and feeling like I couldn’t even trust myself to get out of that predicament was the culprit. It was the not knowing that scared me, and the inability to control my emotions. To not be able to snap my fingers and magically appear back with my papa and brothers. I was angry and scared of that tree, but it wasn’t at fault and didn’t need to apologize to me. That tree did nothin’ but provide a place to hide during a children’s game. It protected me a little from the raindrops that began to fall, too. I was the one who looked at it and blamed it for being damaged, big, and in the way.
“It couldn’t stop the lightning bolt that struck it, or the animal that tore it to shreds. The same gifts it gave me before I was afraid were the same gifts it gave me when I was runnin’ away from it in fear. It wasn’t that tree’s fault that it was intimidating. Or big. Or dying. It was my fault for expecting it to be more than what it really was, and not appreciating what it had become, just for me…” His chest rose and fell sharply as he took a deep, long breath.
“In the Marines I learned ain’t no need in being afraid of the half dead trees, or our enemies. They are what they are. Whatever it is you’re afraid of, you must become—even if you’re only doing a magic trick, or acting, to survive the situation.”
“What do you mean?”
“Like you and that beetle earlier… You said you don’t like bugs, really, but you realized how important they are to the earth’s environment. You picked up that beetle, and something you once saw as disgusting, you then saw beauty in it. Because it was tiny, harmless, just trying to live its beetle life. It could also benefit you, and you understood that you are far more powerful than that beetle, in the grand scheme of things. With one kick of the leg, smash of the hand, stomp of the foot, or even a hard blow from the mouth, you could kill that poor little beetle, send it to insect heaven.” She smiled at that. “It knows that, too.
“On some small level, some primitive scale, it understands that this big human that plucked it from a log can hurt it, if she so chooses. Or she can just look at it, smile, and put it back down to live out the rest of its natural life. That lifetime may only be five more minutes, or it could be five more years, but you believed it wasn’t for you to decide. It can’t help how it looks, the color of its eyes, or its size. You understood that it has a purpose, and so do you.” She nodded in agreement. “That tree had a purpose, too. Instead of being afraid of the tree, Genesis, I needed to become a tree. I needed to stand still.” He stopped pacing. “Get quiet.”
He placed his finger to his mouth as if hushing the world. “And pay attention. Only when I calmed down, stopped panicking, stopped crying and runnin’ in circles did I get my bearings. Devise a plan. Once I realized the direction I had come runnin’ from, I headed back that way. I didn’t move another muscle until I had a clear plan. Becoming the tree probably saved my life that night, but I was too young to understand at that time. Once I got a good distance away from the tree, walkin’ in a straight line from it, I was then close enough for my brother to see me. My father jumped into action and grabbed me. Everyone was soakin’ wet. So was I, but not to the bone. I’d been running towards them under a canopy of trees … protected. My family in the meantime had been terrified that I may have fallen somewhere and sprained my ankle, or even worse, been attacked and dragged away by some animal. When I became the tree, things changed, and that’s how I’ve tried to improve my life. To make things that are going in a bad direction straighten out the right way.”
He walked up to her, closing the gap, and pressed his lips to hers. A passionate warmth surged between them. He smelled like fresh earth and clean soap. He loosened his embrace, but didn’t let her go, and looked down deeply into her eyes.
“You look like a tree now to me, too,” she teased, making him smile. But then she grew serious. “Tall and beautiful as you want to be, Roman. You’re not rotten, in spite of your mistakes in life. You’re just human, and you’re as beautiful as a new day.”