Total pages in book: 105
Estimated words: 104151 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 521(@200wpm)___ 417(@250wpm)___ 347(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 104151 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 521(@200wpm)___ 417(@250wpm)___ 347(@300wpm)
“You know Sarah is happy now. And Dad has forgiven her. Maybe God gave him that experience to have more compassion for his other two daughters.”
She took another sip before nodding. “Hmm … perhaps. Your father is a Godly man. Loving and forgiving. But he’s also a father with raw emotions. So let’s just play it safe and not test him like Sarah did.” She set her mug on the counter. “Anyway, I’m glad you came home last night. If anyone says something, I’ll make sure they know you’re not staying at Kyle’s place anymore because he doesn’t need you during the night.”
I offered a reluctant smile and a tiny nod.
“Have you ever thought about taking your own life?” I asked Grandma Bonnie as she ate her apple strudel while I wound the yarn from the partially crocheted scarf that she decided to abandon.
She stopped eating mid-chew. “Eve,” she mumbled before swallowing. “What is going on?”
I shook my head. “I’m not suicidal.”
“But you know someone who is?”
“No. Well, it was something Mom said this morning. She made me think that if I made Dad upset in the way Sarah did, she’d slit her wrists or drive off a bridge. At first, I thought she was kidding, but I’m not so sure.”
Grandma frowned. “She’s taken the role of wife too far. The ‘love, honor, and obey’ is too much. She feels responsible for your father’s success and happiness—and you girls’ too. When Sarah fell in love, your mom felt it was her fault that Sarah didn’t choose a man your father approved of. She takes the blame for everything that’s perceived as wrong. But she never takes credit for your successes. Being a wife and mother is a hard balance between unimaginable joy and complete insanity. You get stretched so thin some days, it feels like there’s nothing left to hold yourself together. But that’s not your problem. I’ll talk with her.”
“Don’t tell her I said anything.”
“I won’t. I’ll just check in on her. That’s what mothers do.”
“I want to tell my parents about Kyle and me, but if Dad reacts badly, which he will, and my mom cries herself to sleep every night like she did with Sarah, and she decides to take her life …” I swallowed hard and blinked back my emotions. “It would be—”
“Her own fault.”
I shook my head. “It doesn’t matter. I don’t want her ever to be that sad again. It’s not about blame; it’s just that I love her. And I know that—” I stopped. It was easy to forget that I was talking to my mom’s mother.
“You know what?”
I shook my head. “Nothing.”
“I love her too, dear. That’s why I’m going to talk to her. It’s not fair for her to feel responsible for anyone’s happiness but her own. And that’s what you need to remember too. Understood?”
“Yeah,” I whispered.
On my way home, I pulled into the gas station and used the phone booth to make a collect call.
Sarah accepted the charges.
“Why are you calling me collect?” She laughed.
“Because if Dad sees it on our phone bill, he’ll ask why I called you.”
“What’s going on that couldn’t wait until Thanksgiving?” she asked.
“I’m in love with a man who’s twenty-eight.”
Silence.
“Sarah?”
“Um, yeah. I’m here. That’s ten years.”
I rolled my eyes. “I’m aware.”
“Do Mom and Dad know?”
“What do you think?”
“Are you still living at home?”
“Yes,” I said.
“Then I think you haven’t told them.”
I leaned against the side of the phone booth. “Did you know Mom was so upset over Dad kicking you out that she felt suicidal?”
“What?”
“She didn’t say those exact words, but it was implied.”
“Oh my gosh,” she whispered.
“Ask me who I love.”
“Do I want to know?”
“Did Mom tell you about the new neighbor?”
“Fred’s brother?”
“Yeah.”
“Well, it’s him.”
“Nooo …”
I pinched the bridge of my nose. “Yup.”
“And he likes you?”
“He loves me.”
“Oh, Eve.”
“Don’t act like it’s okay for you to fall for someone who everyone else thinks is the wrong person, but I—”
“Eve, I wasn’t going to say that. I just feel bad for you because it sucks to have to choose between your family and the man you love. And don’t get upset with me for asking, but are you sure it’s love? Have you done stuff with him?”
“Sex?” I chuckled because Sarah didn’t talk about sex as much as I did. “Yes. Amazing sex.”
“Are you being smart?”
“As smart as a B-average girl can be.”
“You’ve always excelled at being a smart ass,” she said.
“We use condoms.”
“I don’t know what to tell you. There was a lot involved with Dad finding out about us, but when he finds out you’re sleeping with Fred’s brother, I think it could be worse because he’s ten years older, not six. And he has a child, right?”
“A son. Josh. He’s five. I love Josh so much.”
“Who are you?” She laughed.
“I know I’m eighteen, but since Kyle and Josh moved in, I’ve grown up a lot.”