Total pages in book: 105
Estimated words: 104151 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 521(@200wpm)___ 417(@250wpm)___ 347(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 104151 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 521(@200wpm)___ 417(@250wpm)___ 347(@300wpm)
“Baby,” he tipped the beer, letting the rest spill over the railing, “the only thing I need in my veins is you.”
The can clinked, and his head bowed. He held the inside of my thigh as he kissed me, teased me with his tongue, and stole my breath.
“God …” I whispered, closing my eyes while my other heel pressed harder into the chair. My fingernails scraped along the wood arms.
The song lyrics seduced me. He seduced me.
Thoughts collided with feelings and mind-blowing sensations. I couldn’t tell if I was thinking the words “don’t ever stop” or if I was chanting them aloud.
I’d spent weeks trying to please everyone else. It was my turn. I wanted someone to care for me, even for only a few amazing minutes.
CHAPTER THIRTY
PHIL COLLINS, “IN THE AIR TONIGHT”
Eve
After what I fondly dubbed “the best beer and a half of my life,” I accepted Kyle’s suggestion to sleep at home because I wanted to take Grandma Bonnie breakfast, and she was an early riser. Just as I took the apple strudel out of the oven to cool a few minutes before seven, my mom pulled up to shit on my day.
“I’m glad you came home last night,” she said, tightening her robe’s sash.
“Yeah, well, I didn’t want to wake Josh or Kyle by leaving their house this morning.” I pulled the hot pads off my hands and shut off the oven.
“There’s been some chattering around town, specifically among our church family.”
“About?” I poured myself a glass of orange juice while I waited for the strudel to cool.
Mom filled the coffee pot with water. “It’s silly, really. But we can’t have people jumping to conclusions no matter how ridiculous they are.”
“Jumping to conclusions about what?”
“You and Kyle.” She rolled her eyes and measured the coffee grounds.
I paused my juice glass an inch from my lips. “Me and Kyle?”
“I know. I know. It’s so disappointing that people’s minds jump to such impure and, frankly, offensive ideas. You’re helping Kyle and Josh out. You’ve been so amazing. And we couldn’t be more proud of you.” She waved her hand in the air. “Sure, there was the mishap last night, but your dad thinks Arnold Wells will fix it in exchange for a couple of your pies. My point is, as nonsensical as the rumors are, your dad and I have decided you need to sleep at home, and if there’s a concern about Josh needing help, then he can sleep here in Sarah’s room until Kyle’s arm is better.”
“Um …” I cleared my throat, “what specifically are they saying?”
“He’s not married, and you’re a beautiful young woman. They don’t see you two as family the way we do. But your father is the pastor, so appearances matter.”
“And yet, you still wear reinforced pantyhose with open-toed shoes.”
“Stop it, Eve.” She laughed. “I’m not talking about that kind of appearance.”
I tore off a piece of foil to cover the strudel. “Well, the rumors are correct. Kyle and I are having hot sex, a torrid, scandalous affair. We can’t keep our hands off each other. I’ve never felt more like a woman than I do with him.” I shot her a toothy grin.
Mom rolled her eyes. “Can you be serious for two seconds?”
“I am being serious. Do you have any idea how good it feels to get this off my chest?” I dramatically placed my hand over my heart and sighed.
“Eve Marie Jacobson, don’t even joke about something like that. You know how hard it was on me when your father found out about Sarah’s secret relationship. I cried myself to sleep for weeks. Your dad and I were at each other's throats. I didn’t know if we’d survive it. So before you do something stupid like that, let me know. I’ll slit my wrists or drive my car off a bridge first, so I don’t have to deal with the fallout again.”
I kept it together on the outside but fell apart on the inside. I opened my mouth to remind her that suicide was a sin but quickly clamped my jaw shut. When my father kicked Sarah out of the house, I spent most evenings drinking by the creek or locked in my room. It was the best way to drown out my parents fighting. And they never fought in the house (with my sisters and I in earshot) until the Sarah incident.
I laughed nervously. “You wouldn’t really take your own life, would you?”
She sipped her coffee. “I pray not. But nobody thought Debbie Rice would take her life when she found out about her husband’s affair.” She slowly shook her head. “We’re all human. We’re all sinners. And sometimes life feels unbearable no matter how many prayers one says.” She gave me a sad smile. “I never imagined feeling like I did after your dad made Sarah leave. Maybe God gave me that trial so I would have greater compassion for others.”