Total pages in book: 167
Estimated words: 164838 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 824(@200wpm)___ 659(@250wpm)___ 549(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 164838 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 824(@200wpm)___ 659(@250wpm)___ 549(@300wpm)
“No.” I hugged myself. “You were sweet.”
“Uh-oh.” He smirked. “So that was around the time you enemy-zoned me?”
My mouth dropped open. “Excuse me?”
He laughed, but it held a sharpness that hinted he wasn’t as carefree as he portrayed. “At the start of that visit, you were the same as always—shy but friendly enough.” He pushed his glasses up again. “But by the end, you barely looked at me.” He shrugged. “I figured you’d finally decided I’d stolen too many cookies and no longer wanted to talk to me.”
I sucked in a breath.
All I wanted to do was brush aside this strange conversation—a conversation that I’d started—and pretend the past didn’t matter.
But…the past did matter.
And if I had any hope of getting over Milton’s abuse, I needed to clear the air with Zander.
Bracing myself, I confessed, “I couldn’t look at you because I was afraid I’d ruin your chances of getting your doctorate if we hung out.”
“Wait, what?” His eyes widened, then narrowed with confusion. “How could you have ruined my chances? You were fourteen—”
“Exactly.” I nodded, my cheeks heating. “I’d overheard Nana and your gran giggling like buffoons about our wedding day and figured, if my future was already planned, then why did I have to bother with school?” I swallowed hard, forcing myself to stay truthful. “I asked my mother if I could just marry you earlier and skip the rest of my exams. I hated exams and figured you were a better alternative to those nightmarish things. She told me if I ever went near you with our age differences—regardless of what our silly grans were planning—you’d get into serious trouble. I avoided you because I didn’t want to be the reason you didn’t achieve your dreams.” I shuddered dramatically. “In fact, I couldn’t make eye contact with you after that, thanks to the fear of messing things up for you. I guess…I guess it became a habit. A habit I didn’t really see forming until it was too late.” I exhaled with a soft laugh. “Funny, I never stopped to think why I’ve always gone out of my way to keep my distance from you. Looking back, it stems from that moment: that teenage fear that I was bad for you and better keep my distance—even though it doesn’t make much sense now.”
For a second, he didn’t say a word. Glowering at his house, probably seeing us as naïve children, he dropped his chin and shook his head.
A low chuckle escaped him. “This is just ridiculous.” Looking up, he caught my stare and smirked. “So…you’ve never actually hated me? Back then or now?”
My nose wrinkled. “Why would I hate you? I barely knew you.”
“You didn’t know me, yet you would’ve married me over taking exams?” His smile grew. “I don’t know if I should be honoured or concerned that you’d rather suffer a lifetime with me over the momentary pain of a test.”
“Concerned definitely.” I rolled my eyes, grateful for his teasing. “Back then, I would’ve done anything to avoid two hours of exam hell. I’m a terrible person admitting I’d rather have been a child bride instead.”
His voice thickened. “Oh, I dunno, I think being married to you might’ve been the single best thing to ever happen to me.”
My heart stopped beating. I had no idea what to say.
His eyes widened as if realising what he said. Coughing into his hand, he backpedalled. “I mean…I just…I know the pain of exams. I’ve taken far too many in my life and if I knew how many I’d have to take in this career path, I might’ve been persuaded to get hitched instead.”
My heart resumed its flustered strumming. “It’s stupid how the past can affect the present.”
He laughed, but he couldn’t hide the sudden strain on his face. “I’ve been having the same thoughts lately.”
“You have?”
His eyes softened. “I wonder where we’d be if I’d had the guts to ask you out when you moved in with Melody. If that one question might’ve set events in motion that meant Milton would never have touched you.”
My mouth fell open. “You sound pretty sure of yourself that I would’ve said yes.”
“Would you?” He pinned me to the spot, his eyebrows drawing together. “If I asked you now…would you say yes?”
“I—” Licking my lips, I struggled to speak like a normal person. My courage failed me; I fired a question back instead. “Are you saying you still want to ask me out?”
He scoffed as if I’d said something stupid. “You weren’t the only one hearing our grandparents planning our future, you know. Back then, I wanted them to stop their silly games, but now…now I wonder.”
“Wonder what?”
“If they saw something between us that we were too young to see ourselves.”
Once again, he stole all my words.
“Anyway.” He cleared his throat. “At least I finally know why you barely said hi to me from that day forward. I responded by actively staying out of your way. I figured you despised me and if I’m honest…it kinda hurt not knowing why.”