Total pages in book: 167
Estimated words: 164838 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 824(@200wpm)___ 659(@250wpm)___ 549(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 164838 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 824(@200wpm)___ 659(@250wpm)___ 549(@300wpm)
You’re wearing a mask.
Fuck, I had to get out of here.
Letting her go, I kicked the coffee table out of the way and raked both hands through my hair. The clunk of my boot against wood and the clank of spoons in bowls made her flinch.
And for the first time in my life, I didn’t have the capacity to check in with her. I had no strength to sit beside her, wrap her in a nurturing hug, and beg for her forgiveness.
I-I’m done.
Dropping my hands, I marched toward the kitchen.
Peng meowed where he sat having a bath.
That damn cat had almost gotten me discovered tonight. When she’d called me Zander, my heart literally stopped. And I did mean literally. Only pure terror defibbed it again.
How I’d managed to stay still and not buckle to the floor was a testament to all those days I’d lost the battle helping someone and had to put on a stoic façade to give the news to the families I’d failed.
My pulse still hadn’t calmed down.
I kept waiting for her to say she knew it was me all along.
My slip about losing patients, then lying that I was a vet. The fact that Peng recognised me as the guy who rescued him? Christ, he was as bad as his mistress in wanting to show his gratitude. I could barely claw the creature off me.
I mean…come on!
She was smart, wasn’t she?
Had she guessed who I was and played me right back, or was Colin correct in that different eye and hair colour truly could trick a person into believing what was right before their very nose?
What did I have to do to make her guess?
Because if she guessed and still wanted me, then all my problems disappeared.
I could stay here.
I could be with her.
I’d know once and for all that I wouldn’t lose her if I came clean, but no way could I take that risk on my own. No way was I brave enough to tear off my mask and reveal who I was without knowing if she’d accept me first.
I didn’t want to move to Australia.
But I didn’t want to lose her more.
Sailor tapped my shoulder.
I spun around, cursing the damn kitten for not getting out of the way and my own mind for tangling with thoughts. “What?” I barked.
She rocked backward on her heels. “D-Did I say something wrong?”
Any other night, I would apologise. I would be the gentleman, the guardian—the friendly neighbourhood stalker who’d signed up to take on all her pain so she could breathe a little easier.
But I was goddamn suffocating and no longer had the capacity to breathe for myself, let alone her. “I’m sorry, but...I have to go. I-I can’t do this anymore.”
Colour bled out of her face. “No, don’t leave. I didn’t mean to pressure you. I just…I loved being with you last night and-and I wanted to—”
“I get it.” I stepped over Peng and entered the kitchen. “I enjoyed it too. But it’s best we stop before either of us gets hurt.”
Sailor chased, cutting in front of me and whacking her palm on my chest. “Please, don’t go.” Tears welled in her eyes.
Ah, fuck.
My shoulders slouched.
All my self-directed rage sizzled out as if her tears were a bucket of water on a forest fire. Taking a step into her, I grabbed her around her nape and pressed her against me like I had the first time I’d broken in and found her screaming from a nightmare.
She stiffened as I wrapped my arms around her and embraced her close.
Sighing heavily, I pressed my mask-covered lips to her hair. “I’m sorry for upsetting you. I didn’t mean to explode like that. That isn’t me. I’m not that guy. I think…I think you’re drawing out a lot of suppressed emotions, and I have no right to take them out on you.” Kissing her through my mask, I pulled back and cupped her cheeks. “I didn’t mean to scare you, Lori. Like I’ve said countless times, I will never hurt you, even if I’m in a bit of a mood.”
A single tear streaked her porcelain skin.
I rubbed it with my thumb. “Forgive me?”
Her fingers wrapped hesitantly around my wrists, burning me with electrical currents.
“Forgiven.” Sniffing, she gave a watery smile. “But you’re only proving my point that you’ve done whatever it takes to help me, but you haven’t let me help you.” Fierce determination filled her pretty face. “I wouldn’t be a good friend if I let you walk out like this. You’re the one hurting tonight, X. Not me. What will it take to let me take care of you?”
I went to pull away.
She dug her fingernails into my wrists. Her gaze dropped to my mask and her lips quirked into a sad little smile. “What would it take to let me kiss you, just once?”