Total pages in book: 167
Estimated words: 164838 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 824(@200wpm)___ 659(@250wpm)___ 549(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 164838 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 824(@200wpm)___ 659(@250wpm)___ 549(@300wpm)
She clung to me as I kissed my way back to her mouth, unbuckling and unzipping as I went.
Our lips found each other again.
She bit my bottom lip, drawing the tang of blood.
I snarled and bit her back, rocking my hips between her legs, letting her feel just how badly I needed her.
Squeezing her breast, I ran my thumb over her pert nipple. “Tell me now if fucking you on this table is going to be a problem.”
Her head tipped back with a throaty groan. “God, no problem. No problem at all.”
Grabbing her dress, I bunched it around her hips.
My gaze locked on the bareness between her legs. “Goddammit, you’re not wearing any underwear.”
She smirked. “I had planned on torturing you a little more than this. I wanted payback, but…screw it.” Grabbing my undone jeans, she jerked me forward and stuck her hand into my boxer-briefs.
I snarled as she found me. I shuddered as she jerked me.
In a few savage pumps, she almost made me come.
Fisting her wrist, I wrenched her hold off me and shoved my pants down.
My erection bounced free. She licked her lips. Her gaze met mine as she whispered, “Can you…can you do me a favour?”
“Anything,” I breathed. “Always.”
“Can you take the contacts out?”
A lopsided, stupid smile spread my lips. “Miss the green?”
“I want to sleep with Zander tonight. Not X.”
Fuck, how had this happened?
I thought I’d been the one sneaking into her life, but she’d been the true thief. She’d successfully stolen every shred of my soul.
With shaking hands, I reached up and pinched the film over my pupil. I sucked at this in front of a mirror, let alone broken with lust. I struggled and winced and poked myself, making my eye water.
She wrinkled her nose. “Jeez, I didn’t realise they were so hard to take out.”
“They’re not. I just suck at it.”
She swooned into me. “And you still put them in for me? Be still my beating heart.”
I finally managed to grab the slippery sucker. Removing the left contact with triumph, I squished it between my fingers and flicked it onto the floor.
Peng immediately went to investigate.
With a grimace, I reached for my other eye, but Sailor grabbed my arm and stopped me. “Don’t. I don’t want you to injure yourself.”
I looked up.
We made eye contact.
She gasped. “Oh wow…that…yeah, that does things to me.”
I frowned. “What do you mean?”
Peering closer, she broke out in goosebumps. “One green, one brown. It’s like…it’s like I’m sleeping with both versions of you at once.”
There were many things I could say to that.
I could laugh it off or tease her, but the only thing I could do was finish what I started.
Grabbing her cheeks, I bent over her and kissed her. “Tell me to stop,” I begged into her mouth. “Tell me this is a dream, and I’m about to wake up.”
“Why? Because you don’t think you can have me?”
“Because I’m petrified this isn’t real.” She’d already spilled her secrets. Now mine torrented off my tongue. “Actually, the truth is…I’m afraid I haven’t worked hard enough for long enough to deserve you. I’m afraid that if I show you who I truly am, you’ll think I’m a fraud. I’m afraid that if I choose happiness over my career, my patients will suffer because I’m selfish for wanting my own life. I’m afraid that if I learn to rely on you, I won’t survive when you decide to leave me. I’m afraid of death taking the people I love the most. I’m afraid of not being good enough to heal them. I’m afraid that if I stop trying to be the best I can be and invite the worst parts of myself, I’ll lose everything.”
She went to speak, but I planted my hand over her mouth.
“I think…” I said softly. “I think that’s what I’m most afraid of. I have this hunger inside me that only gets worse the more I’m around you. The more I fall in love with you, Sailor, the more I want to keep you, and I know in myself that it could lead to a spiralling obsession. I-I don’t know how to take from you and give to you. It’s one or the other for me. And I need…I need—” I swallowed hard. “I need you so fucking much that I’m flat-out terrified of hurting you. Of you hating me. Of you leaving me. Of you knowing exactly who I am when I’ve been hiding, even from myself.”
Silence blanketed us, sticking to all my confessions.
My pulse skyrocketed when she didn’t say anything.
Finally, she pulled away my hand and whispered, “Zander?”
“Yeah?”
“Shut up.” Her lips found mine.
She kissed me.
I surrendered.
Slinking my fingers into her hair, I held her steady, accepting her kiss before deepening it. The chaos in my chest slowly tamed, and by the time we pulled away, I felt a little more sane. “Sorry…I—”