Total pages in book: 167
Estimated words: 164838 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 824(@200wpm)___ 659(@250wpm)___ 549(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 164838 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 824(@200wpm)___ 659(@250wpm)___ 549(@300wpm)
Okay, not just via a window.
He used his home network to record me. He didn’t stand on the street or peer through my bushes; he literally had me on a video feed no matter where he was.
Anger bubbled, hotter and hotter.
How dare he.
How damn well dare he stalk into my life and spin a web of lies.
The house of flimsy cards he’d built around me came tumbling down in a puff of wind.
The plate in my letterbox.
The forced scratchy voice to hide his true baritone.
The way he knew the layout of my house.
The uncanny timing whenever I wasn’t coping.
I…I felt violated, all while protected. Betrayed and confused and—
“Now that you’ve got that off your chest, let’s get rational instead of emotional, alright?” Colin sniffed with faint annoyance.
Zander didn’t respond, keeping his face buried.
Standing, Colin held up his hand. “Let’s look at the facts, shall we? I’m sure you’ll see it’s not nearly as bad as you think it is. First…” Holding up a single finger, he smiled. “You’ve loved her since you were a geeky little teenager, and seeing her hurt after what that cunt—and yes, he’s a cunt, not an asshole—did to her, you knew she wouldn’t know how or be willing to accept your help, so…you did what you thought was best.”
Holding up a second finger, he added, “Secondly, you put your reputation, mental health, and heart on the line the moment you gave her a phone and offered to be the therapist she didn’t know she needed. You were being the best kind of doctor and human by giving her an outlet to talk because you were right…she was sinking into agoraphobia and claustrophobia and it would’ve only gotten worse unless she addressed it.”
Up went finger number three. “Thirdly, it was me who suggested you be prepared for seeing her in person, and I’ll take the blame that I gave you the disguise you needed. I hate to say I told you so, but even if all her instincts said it was you behind the black hair and contacts, those two things, plus the mask, were enough to keep you hidden in plain sight. Don’t feel bad about that, Zan, it’s just biology. We humans are stupid creatures.”
Taking a deep breath, Colin held up a fourth finger. “Fourthly—is that even a word? Doesn’t sound right. Doesn’t matter. Apart from work, I’ve never seen you have a hobby or interest outside of the hospital. Sure, choosing stalking as your favourite pastime might not be the best thing, but it’s forgivable because your intentions were pure. You were there for her. You were there when she had those panic attacks. You had more sleepless nights than usual because you put her needs before yours. And you did absolutely everything—including giving up your own peace of mind—to heal hers which leads me to my fifth and final thing.”
Zander slowly lifted his head. “And what’s that?”
Colin smiled gently and lowered his hand. “You say you hurt her? That you let go? I say bullshit and good for you. In the same sentence.”
“What the fuck, Col? I-I bruised her and—”
“Was she begging you to stop?”
“No, but—”
“Was she fighting you off?”
“No, but that’s—”
“Was she screaming for someone to save her?”
“No, she—”
“I rest my case.” Sitting down with a smug smile, Colin patted Zander on the shoulder. “You, my friend have finally learned to let go and put yourself first for once, and it sounds like you both had a fabulous time.”
“But I hurt—”
“Dude, give it a rest.” Colin threw his hands up. “So you roughed her up a bit? You said you gave her a safe word. She knew what she was getting into. Did she use it? Did you ignore her? Are you saying you raped her because if you did, I’ll take you to the police myself, but if you didn’t, then I’m seconds away from beating some sense into you because you have got to realise you can’t keep living your life like this. You can’t keep putting everyone else first. You did it with your grandparents, with your sisters, and with her. You need to be cared for just as much as the next person. You had rough sex. Big deal. Everyone does it. No matter how much we love someone—in fact, I’d probably say the more we love someone, the more primal those instincts get. Sex is where all that violence and desperation comes out, and it feels good. For both parties.”
Zander slowly exhaled. “Why did you have to come here with your stupid voice of reason?”
“Because you’re drunk and ridiculous, and that’s what friends do.” Colin cracked his knuckles and punched his other hand. “However, it doesn’t mean I won’t hit you a few times if you don’t sober the hell up and stop being an idiot.”
“It doesn’t fix the fact that I lied to her.”