Total pages in book: 125
Estimated words: 124836 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 624(@200wpm)___ 499(@250wpm)___ 416(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 124836 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 624(@200wpm)___ 499(@250wpm)___ 416(@300wpm)
How long did she simply let me stand out there in the cold, looking longingly up at her window?
Hundreds of days.
I’d thought this was love.
Everybody clearly thought I was an idiot, but I didn’t care.
Now. . .as I gazed into Moni’s eyes, I didn’t want her to think badly of me.
“Lei. . .” She blinked again. “I don’t understand.”
Discomfort came. “That was the past—”
“But how long did you do this? A few days?”
I swallowed. “A few years.”
“What the fuck?”
Something odd flashed in her gaze and I didn’t know if it was jealousy, disgust, or shock.
I shifted against her. “Let’s change the subject.”
“I don’t think we can. You just mentioned ghosts and stalking, I feel like one of those topics should be thoroughly unpacked.”
“You’re right, but. . .”
“What?”
“Talking about my past is not something I want to do. Not now. Not here with you, after that perfect moment. Not when everything right now is so. . .amazing. I just want to focus on us and our future.”
Now it was her turn to shift uncomfortably. Sighing, she looked away, obviously processing my words.
There was this quietness that hung between us and I hated it.
“I’m sorry, Moni. Never mind. . .ask what you want and I’ll answer.”
“No.” She turned back to me. “I don’t know if I want to hear it.”
“Why not?”
“It might make me jealous.”
“There’s nothing for you to be jealous about.”
“Lei, you sat outside of her bedroom window. Right?”
“It doesn’t matter anymore—”
“You were absolutely in love with her—”
“I didn’t know love until you.” I seared her with my gaze. “I thought I wanted Chanel, but after you. . .I realized that I knew nothing about real love then. And I’m telling you. . .what we have. . .it is everything and more. It is. . .my oxygen now. It is why. . .”
“What?”
“It is why during the tea ceremony. . .I didn’t want to kill my father. I spent a few minutes thinking that I might not. If not for him, I wouldn’t have met you. . .and for that reason alone, I thought about forgiving him for murdering Romeo and Chanel.”
She pursed her lips.
“Because my life was nothing before you. Nothing. Just darkness. Needing. Hoping in a hopeless situation. Fucking stalking and being dragged along so I could be used. Standing out in the cold and wishing someone would love me. Emptiness.” I shook my head. “There’s nothing to be jealous of. That was my past. You are my present. My future. My everything.”
Moni’s eyes watered.
“Tell me what I have to do to make sure you understand that. What do you need from me?”
“I’ve got it.”
I landed a soft kiss on her forehead. “Are you sure?”
“Yes.”
“Anytime you worry about my so-called feelings for Chanel, tell me. I’ll put that to rest.”
Her voice was a soft whisper. “Okay.”
“It’s just you and me, Moni. No one else. It’s just us ruling the East, conquering the world and taking care of your sisters.”
Tears left her eyes.
I brushed them away with the pad of my thumb and licked them.
Sniffling, she chuckled. “What are you doing?”
“You don’t know by now that I want to possess every bit of you?”
“I’m learning.” Emotion laced her voice. “I love you, Lei.”
I held her gaze. “I love you more.”
She was so fucking beautiful, even in uncertainty, her dark brown eyes wide and radiant. But beneath that beauty, there was a strength that grounded her. It was that inner resilience that had drawn me to her in the first place.
She rested her head back against my chest. “Well, at least we know one thing.”
“What’s that?”
“You’ll easily win T.T. over with your Crownsville Bandit information.”
“I can do more than that. I’ll give her all those stupid wooden daggers the bandit made me dig up.”
“Oh God.” Moni yawned and closed her eyes. “She’ll be your best friend forever after that.”
“Good.”
That’s what I want.
After a while, silence came and I wondered what Moni was thinking, because plans of our future were littering my mind.
More quiet minutes passed and soon, Moni's soft breath against my chest turned steady.
It sounded like she had drifted off to sleep.
I felt the rise and fall of her chest in sync with my own breathing.
I curved my lips into a smile.
I didn’t do a bad job. She owned me with that ass, but. . .I owned her too. My cock put her to sleep.
Happy with myself, I closed my eyes and tried to get in a little nap too.
But my mind wouldn't rest.
The cookout was soon and I would be meeting her sisters. Everything had to be perfect. I needed to make sure that Moni would always be by my side.
I thought about all the things that she had told me and an idea came.
I know what I need to do.
Slowly, carefully, I began to shift, doing my best to not wake Moni.