Total pages in book: 124
Estimated words: 126840 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 634(@200wpm)___ 507(@250wpm)___ 423(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 126840 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 634(@200wpm)___ 507(@250wpm)___ 423(@300wpm)
Her words were terse when she declared, “That doesn’t have anything to do with you.”
He felt red encroach at his eyes.
Red.
“It doesn’t?” he bit off.
She lifted both hands, palms his way and modulated her tone. “No, no. I didn’t mean it like that. I mean, you didn’t do it.”
“His blood is in me.”
“You mentioned that. We talked about that. But you didn’t give me the fullness of it.”
“Hellen—”
“I get it was hard to share what you all did to Rosie. But your parents. We talked about that. Why didn’t you tell me?”
“I’ve already explained.”
“No, you haven’t.”
Red.
Damn.
So much red.
She took a step forward.
Reflexively, he backed up.
Her tone was different, Core just couldn’t put his finger on how because he had other things happening to him, when she asked, “What’s happening now, Core?”
“I wanna give you what you want,” he said carefully.
Red.
“You deserve it,” he went on.
Red.
“But I’m not sure what you want right now, Hellen.”
“I want you to open up to me,” she said gently.
She took another step forward.
He retreated.
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
She continued to advance, Nanook now coming with her.
She tossed her bag on the chair as her movements forced him to where his pool table was sitting.
Core kept retreating.
“What’d you give your brothers in those woods, honey?” she asked.
He missed the “honey.”
And he didn’t have it in him to realize just how much Beck shared with the question she just asked.
Like they were working together, they separated.
Nanook moved to cut him off from the hall.
Hellen moved to cut him off from the garage.
Trapped.
Core heaved out an unsteady breath.
“Did you give them everything?” she pressed, watching him closely.
God.
Fuck.
Christ.
It was happening.
He had to move. He couldn’t stand still.
Red.
So much fucking red.
He shifted along the pool table, Hellen adjusting position to keep him there and not give him access to the garage or back door. He went the other way, Nanook trotting to keep him from the hall and living room and the front door.
He retraced his steps.
She was there.
And returned.
His dog was there.
He had no idea he was prowling like a caged animal.
But goddammit, she was relentless.
“Okay, what didn’t you give them?” she asked, worry stark in her tone now, easy to read, along with the fear threading through it.
“I gave it all,” he muttered.
No he didn’t.
Red.
She called him on it.
“No, you didn’t. Beck said they were there. They were all there to help you through. You’re going through something now. What didn’t you tell me? What didn’t you tell them?”
He kept prowling.
“Back off, Hellen.”
“No.”
“Back off.”
“No.”
He stopped when he was facing her and roared, “Back off, Hellen!”
“No!” she roared back.
Red.
Everywhere.
And in his mind’s eye, he saw his mother’s face.
That was all he could take.
“If I’d been there, I would have saved her!”
He watched pain suffuse her expression.
But Core was gone.
Lost to the gore that was his parents.
All that red.
“He was a waste of flesh. I’d beat his ass before. He knew not to come back. He knew not to come back.” He pounded a fist against his chest. “He knew not to come back unless I wasn’t there!”
“Honey,” she whispered, coming to him.
“Get the fuck away from me!” he snarled.
She stopped dead, the color draining from her face.
Nanook came from the other direction.
He turned to him and shouted, “Back! Sit! Stay!”
Nanook whimpered as he backed off, sat down and stared at Core.
“You couldn’t have—”
When she spoke again, he swung back to her. “No?” he asked snidely. “I couldn’t have? You know? You know how it would have gone down? You know I couldn’t save her?”
“It wasn’t how it happened, baby,” she said miserably.
“Nope, it sure as fuck wasn’t,” he clipped. “I mean him,”—he rolled his head on his neck—“who gives a fuck about him? But, Jesus Christ, I’m sixteen and I walk in to see my dad’s brains all over the wall?”
She winced.
“Yeah, nice,” he agreed. “Happy family memories. Shoulda taken a snapshot, baby. Put it in one of your frames. Dad with the back of his head all over the wall. Gotta hand it to the man, he didn’t do half measures. He was a fall down, mean, nasty drunk, and he gave that his all. He was a lazy, unemployed, waste of space, and he gave that his all. He was a shit, motherfucking dick of a husband, and he gave that his all. He was useless as a father, and he gave that his all. And when he murdered his ex-wife, he really gave that his all. So, of course, when he ate a bullet, he didn’t choose a .22 to do the job. He grabbed his .38 and gave that everything.”
She was still pale, her eyes huge, as she suggested, “Let’s sit down and—”
“What?” he demanded. “Talk? You wanna know all about it? You wanna know how, after I got over the state of him and first looked at her, I was confused as to who the fuck she was. I didn’t fucking recognize my mother, Hellen. Her hair was matted with blood. Her face was beat to shit. If she wasn’t wearing her waitress uniform from the truck stop with her nametag on it, I might not have known who the fuck she was until the cops figured it out. That was how bad he beat her. That was how far it went.”