Total pages in book: 124
Estimated words: 118459 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 592(@200wpm)___ 474(@250wpm)___ 395(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 118459 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 592(@200wpm)___ 474(@250wpm)___ 395(@300wpm)
“Why do you act like this, Jules?”
“Like what?”
“Like a bitch.”
“Crew.” I gasp, not used to hearing him talk like that to me.
“Well,” he says, spreading his arms out to his sides, “tell me how else to explain it.”
“Like a mother protecting her child.”
“Protecting her from what?”
“You.”
“From me? You’re fucking kidding me, right?”
I shrug and look back to the playground. Ever is now digging in the sandbox with a little girl her age. The sand is wet and getting stuck in her hair. She’s giggling and building a sandcastle; I’ll be picking sand out of the washer for a week.
“You do realize that everything I do is to protect her, right?” His tone demands attention. Without thinking, my eyes are drawn back to him. He’s watching me, his face passive, but his eyes are on fire. “My life would be a lot easier if I just worked and fucked and drank a little.”
I glare at him to cover the touch of hurt his words cause. I know we weigh him down and that’s embarrassing, even though I don’t ask him to help us. “Yeah, well, that’s really worked out for you so far.”
His mouth drops, then clenches. “What I do isn’t for you, Jules. It’s for Gage, for Ever.”
He may as well have filled my veins with poison because my breath is stolen. I know he’s right but hearing it come from his mouth, that nothing he does is for me, is like ripping open an old wound. Although I’ve tried to convince myself otherwise, he’s never done anything for me. There’s no denying it now.
“Noted,” I say with as much detachment as I can.
I turn away from him as Ever grabs my hand. She’s covered in sand and the shimmer in her eye from earlier is gone. “I’m ready to go, Mommy. I’m sleepy.”
I take her hand and start walking to the entrance of the park, trying to focus on the next few things I need to do so I don’t think about what Crew just said. I’ve never mattered to anyone but Gage. I don’t know why I thought that Crew’s assistance might have been to help me, but it clearly isn’t. I don’t know why it makes a difference, but it does.
“Will you carry me?” Ever walks slowly, her boots full of sand. Suddenly, she’s swept up into a pair of gray thermal-covered arms.
She nuzzles into Crew’s chest and he kisses the top of her head.
He looks at me, his brows furrowed. “I didn’t mean that,” he says roughly. He turns without a beat and starts towards my house and doesn’t look back.
SIX
JULIA
The hum of the copier a few cubicles down is soothing in a weird way. It’s been going non-stop this morning and it drowns out the chatter between the people behind the cubicle walls surrounding me. I like it. My fingers fly over the keys on my computer, my mind blissfully unaware of the distractions that usually drive me a little crazy.
I work solidly for the first part of the day. When I look back up, it’s lunchtime. I pull out my lunch bag from beneath my desk and retrieve the peanut butter and jelly sandwich, an apple, and a bottle of water.
“What I do isn’t for you, Jules.”
Crew’s voice from yesterday barrels through my mind, knocking the wind out of me. It stings as badly today as it did when he said it, like a punch below the belt.
Suddenly, I’m not hungry. I gather my lunch and put it back in my bag. I hear my officemates. They’re discussing their lunch at a fancy restaurant downtown, trying to decide what to have. The merits between the clam chowder and the bacon cheeseburger are weighed with a seriousness that astounds me. When I hear one of the women discuss fitting into her new Dior dress, I remember why I wouldn’t go to lunch with them even if I could afford it.
I glance down at the brown dress that I wear on an every-other-week rotation and my I-wear-them-with-everything-brown heels. I brush a stray hair out of my eyes, feeling unkempt, even though I know I’m totally presentable.
I start back to work, but the speaker on my phone buzzes. “Mrs. Gentry? I have Calhoun Elementary on the line for you.” The line rings.
“Hello?”
“Mrs. Gentry?”
“Yes.”
“This is the school nurse. Everleigh was sent to the office not feeling well. She has a slight fever and I think you should come pick her up.”
I rub my forehead with my fingertips. She seemed to be feeling better this morning. She slept the whole way home from the park last night and then practically through her bath. I was hoping we’d turned a corner when she woke up bright-eyed.
“I’ll be there as soon as I can.”
JULIA
Rain rolls on my windshield and my wipers can barely keep up. I take a quick glance at Everleigh in the back seat. She’s fast asleep, and her head is in such a seemingly uncomfortable position. Her lips are pursed together like they do when she’s asleep. It reminds me of when she was little and used to take a pacifier. She’d continue to suck long after it had fallen out of her mouth.