Total pages in book: 84
Estimated words: 80821 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 404(@200wpm)___ 323(@250wpm)___ 269(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 80821 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 404(@200wpm)___ 323(@250wpm)___ 269(@300wpm)
“Yes and no.” I run a hand through my hair. “I should have protected you, both of you, from him. Sometimes I tried, attempted to get him to focus on me, but it wasn’t enough.”
“That’s what you were doing?” Morgan asks. “I thought you just chose him, loved him more than us.”
It makes my heart ache to hear him say that, to know how far apart we ended up. “I’m not a martyr. Sometimes I did it all for me. I needed his approval, needed his love so much because I didn’t know who I was without being exactly who Dad wanted me to be. Sometimes I did it for selfish reasons, and sometimes because I didn’t want the two of you to turn out like me.” I fidget in my seat, wring my hands. “I never loved him more than the two of you. I loved him more than me.”
“Jesus, Rhett,” Morgan says. “I’m so fucking sorry. I didn’t know. I didn’t…” He shakes his head.
“None of us could have known how the others were feeling because we didn’t talk, and Dad wanted it that way. It was how he controlled us.”
“That’s partly why I needed Ella so much,” East says. “I loved her, so fucking much, because he taught us to feel alone in the world, even though we had each other. I needed her. Morgan needed Dusty.”
Their gazes hold fast on me.
Morgan’s voice is so soft, so emotional when he says, “And you were alone, weren’t you, Rhett? You were alone, which made you cling to him more.”
My eyes pool with tears, and for once, I let them fall freely. “I’m not alone anymore. None of us are.” We have Dusty, Archer, and Tripp. We have Meadow, Tripp’s family, Archer’s, and Dusty’s. And we have each other. We will always have each other, and we’ll always hold Ella with us. She helped bring us together, and she’ll always be a part of us.
“We’ll never be alone again,” East adds, and as we look at each other, it’s clear we’re on the same page on this. It might have taken us too damn long to get here, but we’re here now.
The session is longer than the typical hour. We talk about everything—the past, the present, the future. I tell them about Dad showing up the other day and how I walked away from him for the last time. East talks to us about Ella and the pain he’s lived with, and we even discuss the anger we’ve had at each other. There’s no getting around it, and like Amelia tells us, the only way to make it to the other side is to confront all our struggles.
It’s painful and beautiful, hard and perfect, and when we walk out of the building, we’re better for it, and I know we’ll have more sessions like this together in the future.
“I’m glad we did this,” I tell them.
“It happened because of East,” Morgan says, and I nod because he’s right. Our youngest brother brought us together in ways he’ll never see.
“Because of Ella.” East looks up at the sky.
“Because of both of you,” I reply, then do the same. Without looking, I know Morgan is glancing upward too.
“You should have us over for dinner later this week, East,” Morgan says.
“Oh, should I?”
“I mean, I think it’s a good idea. The dogs probably miss me…and don’t forget to invite Rhett’s boyfriend.”
I roll my eyes. “You sound like Meadow. She keeps teasing us.”
“Smart girl,” East says. “Sounds good on dinner, and now I’m out of here. I’ve seen the two of you enough for one day.”
We all laugh and say our goodbyes. As soon as I get into the truck, I check my phone and find a text waiting for me.
Tripp: Thinking about you. Come over after? We have the house to ourselves…love you.
And that’s exactly what I want, what I need right now. Tripp Cassidy.
I start my truck and head straight to his house. The second I climb up the porch stairs, he’s opening the door, concern on his face. “Did it go okay?”
“It was everything, and now I need you.” I rip my coat off and tug my shoes off before we’re on each other, kissing and touching.
Tripp pulls me to the bedroom, stripping us both.
“What do you want, baby?”
“Make it last,” I tell him, and he does, stroking me and sucking me until I’m about to lose control, and then he reels me in again. Over and over and over until I’m panting and sweating and dying for more. “Fuck me. Please, fuck me,” I beg when I can’t take it anymore.
We’ve done this one other time, and I loved it just as much as the first. There’s something about having Tripp inside me, about giving myself to him that way.