Total pages in book: 84
Estimated words: 80821 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 404(@200wpm)___ 323(@250wpm)___ 269(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 80821 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 404(@200wpm)___ 323(@250wpm)___ 269(@300wpm)
“Am I?”
“Yes. Fuck yes. We don’t all figure everything out on the same time schedule. That’s not how being human works. And the fact that you’re making changes at this age shows how brave and strong you are. It’s not easy when we’re already set in our ways.”
He nods, still touching and holding my legs. “I want to be better. I don’t want to be like him. Morgan, East, they have a real life. I want that too. And I want a better relationship with my brothers.”
I want him to have every one of those things, but beyond that, I just plain want him—all of him. Every day, all the time. “You’re incredible, Rhett.”
“I wouldn’t go that far.”
“Then I’ll go that far for both of us.”
He chuckles softly, but there’s no real humor in it.
“Thank you for trusting me with that,” I tell him.
“I’m not sure there’s a damn thing I wouldn’t trust you with. I don’t know how this happened, but it’s bringing me to life.”
If there was any question how I felt before, there’s none now. My heart nearly bursts with feelings for this man…with love for him. I want him in my life, always. “Ever since April left, I haven’t been willing to take a chance on anyone, but I’d take every single chance with you.” Every risk. He’s worth it.
Rhett’s breath hitches.
“Maybe soon we can tell her about us. When you’re ready.” It’s wild how I haven’t been ready until this moment, but right now, I’ve never been surer about anything.
“Soon,” Rhett says. “Just…not yet. I don’t want to mess up and hurt her.”
“You won’t, but the fact that you care means the world to me. Toward the end, it wasn’t like that with April.”
He tenses slightly, and I figure talking about the ex-wife of the man you’re in a relationship with—and currently naked with—is probably a little awkward.
“What happened with the two of you? I know she left, but…”
My stomach twists, but Rhett has shared so much with me. I want to do the same with him. “April is one of the most fun people you’ll ever meet.”
“I already don’t like this conversation,” he teases, and I chuckle, wondering if he can feel it vibrating through him.
“You’re fun.”
“Do you know me?”
“Hey, none of that. There’s never been a time when I’m with you that I don’t have fun.” He might not believe it’s true, but it is. “And while fun can be a good thing, there’s also a time and a place. I didn’t notice it as much until our child was born. I did notice things before—losing jobs, quitting jobs, wanting to go out all the time, but we were young, so it didn’t matter. When we became parents, things were supposed to change. April struggled with that. She always wanted me to ask my parents or Archer to take the baby so we could go out. If I was at work and she was off, I’d come home to find she’d brought the baby to one of them. We thought maybe it was postpartum depression, but she saw more than one doctor, and that didn’t seem to be the case. I just don’t think she was ready to be a mom.
“It caused a lot of fights because I would want both of us to stay home, and she’d get upset. She’d go out a lot without me. Sometimes things felt better, sometimes worse. We’d go on picnics or trips and feel like a real family, but most of the time, it felt like it was just me and my kiddo.”
“I’m sorry,” Rhett says.
“It is what it is. Still, I thought we were okay. I wanted us to be okay. A few years went by, and we found a way to make it work. My parents…I guess I always hoped to have a relationship like theirs. I wanted it to last. We were actually in a good place when she left. Meadow was five, and things had started to calm down some by then. But she just didn’t want to be a parent. Didn’t want to be married. She told me that one night, then kissed her child goodbye and left. She was in Florida the last time we talked. It’s when we were finalizing the divorce.”
“Jesus, Tripp.” Rhett leans up a bit and turns to look at me.
“Like I said, it was for the best. I blame myself sometimes. I wanted a family so badly. I don’t think I pushed her, and she never said she didn’t want to get pregnant, but looking back, I can see that she never had the same excitement about it. But then if none of that happened, I wouldn’t have my daughter. I can’t imagine a world where I don’t have her. And I think it’s better that it happened when it did. I don’t know how April would have reacted when Meadow shared her truth. I would never want something negative to be tied to that.”