Total pages in book: 77
Estimated words: 72853 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 364(@200wpm)___ 291(@250wpm)___ 243(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 72853 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 364(@200wpm)___ 291(@250wpm)___ 243(@300wpm)
“So you’re back to living in polite society.” Her brows shoot up. “You don’t strike me as someone who would be very good at it—mixing with other people who have money. I don’t think old money likes new money, but you’re like the worst of new money. You’re awkward at it, and it looks like you’re disdainful of it, which would drive anyone crazy. Plus, your manners are atrocious. You’re no good at faking it, and being rich seems like it’s all stuffy and fake. It’s probably all face injections, BBLs, and purse doggies.”
“Gah. What’s a BBL?” I have to ask. My curiosity gets the better of me before I can stop myself.
“A Brazilian butt lift,” she answers.
“Oh!” Oh, Jesus. “I don’t think I’ll be getting one of those anytime soon.”
She bursts into the softest, sweetest laughter. It’s nothing like Jace’s loud guffaw. I swear, that laugh of his just about got us killed a few times. I also swear I’d take a bullet just about anywhere that’s not fatal right now if I could just hear his laugh again.
“Did Jace know about this?”
“The butt lifts?”
“Yeah.” Her smile is like pure sunshine. The kind you never find in the city. No, it’s better. It’s more like the first breath you take after thinking you won’t be able to take another. My heart starts pounding for no reason I can even name except that all my internal danger tripwires are being stepped on, and alarm bells are pinging through my brain.
“No, he didn’t know anything about those. Or about this. When I left…I didn’t want to leave, but he knew enough. He just didn’t realize the extent of it. Neither did I, to be honest.” I’m being too honest right now. That’s what I’m doing. But then, I’m not talking about my life over there. All the years I spent doing shit that I can’t ever talk about. My life now is pretty much public knowledge. It’s not one big secret, and that has taken some getting used to.
Not having to watch my back every time I step out of the house.
The easy way society just crawls all over the place, invading every single corner and crevice. The laughter, the people, the houses, the traffic, the access to everything, the stores, the crowds, the living.
“If he had known,” Aspen says with a frown, studying me and seeing more than I’d like. “He would have been even more worried. He definitely would have had us both get our letters sooner.”
“Why would you say that?”
“Well, you’re clearly uncomfortable here. You might have all the money in the world, but it doesn’t make up for what a person needs most.”
I’m not going to fall off the couch right now. I’m fucking not. “And what’s that?”
“Friends. Love. Family. This house pretty much screams soulless loneliness. I’m sorry to say so because it’s super nice and everything, and I’m sure your grandpa was a good man—”
“My grandpa was the meanest son of a b you’d ever meet.”
“Oh. Um…” For a second, she doesn’t know what to do with that information, but then she nods tightly. “Yeah, well, I’m sorry for it.” She pats her purse, and then she flips open the top and takes out a piece of paper. With trembling hands, she unfolds it. “This was the last thing my brother wanted. He wanted us to get married. I don’t know why, but I don’t think it’s a joke. I have every intention of honoring his wish, even if we both think it’s the worst of terrible ideas. What’s a few weeks? We could get legally married to say we did and then get legally annulled. We could give it a shot for a period of time, and then we could just…I don’t know. Be long-distance friends or something. No offense, but you seem about as warm and loving as a cactus, and goodness knows I adore those plants, but they’re exceptionally prickly. I know you don’t want this, and I don’t want it either, but we’re both going to have to suck it up and just do it. Otherwise, I think we’ll live our whole lives haunted by the fact that we loved Jace, and we didn’t do him the honor and respect of following through with this.”
“You can’t just…will two people to get along, let alone get married.”
“I know that,” she says exasperatedly.
Does she? Yeah, her eyes are narrowed at me now. And she’s clutching the letter like it’s a lifeline, holding onto it for dear life.
I know that feeling. I know what she’s feeling. What she’s wishing.
Neither of us was with Jace when he died. We weren’t there. His body came back home, but she wouldn’t have gotten to see it. It was no doubt a closed casket, and who knows? They might have lied to his family about there even being a body. The casket could have been empty. Not saying that’s a thing, but…yeah. Either way, she didn’t get closure. I wasn’t with him. I wasn’t watching his back. I left. If I had stayed, he might still be alive. Instead, I was here, living this life I never wanted, and he was…he was there. It might have been brutal. They wouldn’t tell me. Me. Even after I gave up over a decade of my life for them. I don’t know how it happened. I just know it did.