Total pages in book: 86
Estimated words: 82829 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 414(@200wpm)___ 331(@250wpm)___ 276(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 82829 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 414(@200wpm)___ 331(@250wpm)___ 276(@300wpm)
My thoughts spin around and around while I pace. I’m not an overthinker in any other aspect of my life, but when it comes to this, I want it so much, it will kill me not to get it right. What if I disappoint him and he doesn’t want me again? Then what if it does make things weird and I can never be around Marsh again? What if I’m a bad lay and don’t fulfill his needs? I’ve never had any complaints before. In fact, the men I fuck are quite fond of my ass, but I’ve never given it to someone who is so entwined in my life.
I spend so much time trying to sort through what to do that when I look at my phone next, it’s 1:58. “Goddamn it,” I curse, hurrying down the driveway to Marsh’s large white house that’s set back from the road.
As soon as I get to the door, it opens. “You were waiting for me.” I grin, confidence making my chest swell slightly. He clearly wants me if that’s the case.
“You were cute out there pacing. I considered going to get you, but it was more fun watching you suffer.”
I mock-gasp. “You’re a sadist.”
He shrugs. “In some ways, yes. Does that excite you?”
I pull my bottom lip into my mouth, teeth sinking in. The buzz beneath my skin grows, body flooding with warmth. “In some ways, Sir. Does that excite you?”
“You’re going to be trouble.” Marsh chuckles, but then I see the reality of who we are to each other flood his eyes, and he sobers.
“It’ll be okay,” I tell him.
“Will it, though? I’ll lose my brother if he finds out about this.”
Guilt drops weight in my gut, all of me suddenly feeling too heavy. “I’m sorry. I know I pushed for this. I really want it, but I don’t want you to be hurt either. If you truly want to put an end to things, if you feel pressured in any way, we can stop right now. I won’t harass you about it anymore.”
He watches me, an expression on his face I can’t read, then sighs. Marsh steps closer, reaches out, and holds my chin. “I want you. I wanted you the whole time we were talking online, and I’ve wanted you every moment of the last two weeks. I can’t wait to make you cry for me…make you come for me.”
“Yes, Sir,” I say, cock already going hard. I want to kiss him, to taste him, to sit between his legs and suck his cock all day, but I try to be patient, waiting for Marsh to tell me what to do next.
“What is your safe word?”
“Let’s go with red.”
“Come inside.” Marsh moves out of the way, and I do as he says. He closes the door behind me. “Take off your shoes, then kneel for me.”
“Yes, Sir.” My skin prickles with excitement, the spinning thoughts from earlier now quiet.
I take off my sneakers, then get onto my knees, wishing I was naked for him, wishing he was naked for me. Nervous, yet enjoying the fact that I don’t know what will happen today, that I’m not in control—and it’s not because I’m too weak or can’t make decisions myself; it’s not because my choices are wrong or not good enough, but because I want to hand that control over to Marsh, and that’s the best kind of high.
“You look beautiful down there, sweet boy. I’ve seen it over and over in my head since walking out of that coffeehouse…and even when I hate myself for it, I can’t stop hoping for it.”
“Whenever you feel that way, remind yourself that you’re giving me what I need…that you’re taking care of me. Because I know you will, Sir. You’ll take such good care of me, and I’m so glad it’s you.”
I swear fire blazes in his eyes, heat radiating off him, and I’ve never in my life wanted to burn for someone more than I do right now.
CHAPTER TWELVE
Marshall
It’s difficult to turn off my guilt, but seeing JT on his knees, looking up at me prettily, those big blue eyes of his brimming with need I want to fulfill, there are a million things I want to show him, to teach him, to see him do for me. And as much of an asshole as that makes me, it helps mute the voice telling me I shouldn’t be doing this with him.
“Crawl for me. I don’t want you to leave your knees today unless I tell you to.”
“Yes, Sir,” he replies, and damned if I don’t see the eagerness in him, if I don’t see how much this is giving him, though we both know it’s not nearly enough for either of us.
I walk into the living room. I’ve placed both lube and a condom on the end table by the couch, not knowing if I’ll need either but wanting to be prepared.