Total pages in book: 102
Estimated words: 95453 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 477(@200wpm)___ 382(@250wpm)___ 318(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 95453 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 477(@200wpm)___ 382(@250wpm)___ 318(@300wpm)
There are only so many ways I can interpret this.
Everything is starting to go fuzzy. There’s a thumping in my head, loud enough to drown out everything else going on around me—the traffic on the street, the gentle hum of the HVAC system. My pounding heart overpowers it, getting louder with every second that passes without her being able to look at me. She can’t even face me.
Somehow, I’m able to keep my voice soft, asking, “What did you do when I was gone?” Her mouth works, opening and closing, but finally, all she does is chew her lip the way she does when she’s afraid to tell the truth.
“Answer me,” I command. There’s a storm brewing, and it’s not going to be pretty when it explodes. I can barely contain it, but I’m trying. I’m fucking trying, for her sake, to be a better man. And for what? For her to cheat on me?
“I took a shower, and now I’m cleaning a little. Is that all right?” she whispers.
I know I’m not imagining the defiance in her question. Almost like she’s pissed off. At me? What did I do? Another reason I’m sure she’s hiding something from me—she’s never like this.
Swinging the bedroom door shut, I lean against it with my arms folded. “Tell me the truth. We’re not leaving this room until you tell me the truth.”
“Who says I’m not?”
“Why don’t you try looking at me? Why don’t we start there, Leni? Because right now, what I see in front of me is somebody who’s lying to cover their ass. Why are you lying to me?”
“I’m not.”
Fuck, she doesn’t even sound like she believes it. She sounds tired and weak, if anything. But why?
And then I see it. When she goes back to putting the pillowcase on the pillow, the sleeves of the oversized cardigan she’s wearing slide back a little so I can see her wrists.
And the marks around them.
The sight launches me across the room, where I take hold of her arm to pull the sleeve further back. “How did this happen?” I demand. Fuck trying to be understanding, so she’s not scared. I’m tired of tiptoeing around and not getting anywhere.
She doesn’t answer quickly enough, and I shake her a little. “Tell me! Where did these come from? What did you do to yourself?”
“I didn’t do anything!” She almost bares her teeth, yanking her arm away. Her breath hitches as she turns, her face hidden by hair again. “Please, don’t do this. I’m begging you not to.”
“Begging me?” Nothing she’s saying makes a damn bit of sense. “Tell me the fucking truth, Leni. What happened when I was gone?”
Throwing her hair back to glare at me, she raises her voice. “Could you just listen to me for once? Please!”
“Why should I listen to you when I know you’re lying? You don’t think I know you by now? I’m looking in your fucking eyes, and I know you’re lying!”
There’s even more than that. There’s pain in her eyes. Maybe fear, too. Fear of me? The way I’m feeling, she should be afraid. I don’t know if that makes me like Dad or what. I only know my head is going to explode if I don’t get answers.
A soft, almost silent sob bursts out of her when I grab her arm tighter this time. “The truth. What did you do when I was gone? Who was here? And don’t tell me nobody was,” I warn when her mouth falls open. “I know someone was here. I feel it. What, do you think I’m stupid? You don’t know me better than that by now?”
“Please,” she whispers, closing her eyes. “It’s not what you’re thinking. Trust me, it’s not.”
“Until I get an explanation, I’m not going to trust a fucking thing you say. Why are you lying to me? Why?”
Only when she cringes and closes her eyes do I realize I’m screaming. But fuck it. I’ve been trying the whole kind, gentle boyfriend thing, and it’s not fucking working.
Shoving her away from me makes her land on the bed hard. I stand over her, glaring down at her wide eyes, noticing the tears there. There’s something powerful in it, something I haven’t let myself feel in a long time. I’ve missed it. I’ve missed this sense of control. It heats my blood in the most satisfying way. I’m even getting hard, thanks to the way she whimpers and cowers.
It’s her fault. It’s all her fucking fault.
“I didn’t want to tell you!” she cries. When she closes her eyes, tears roll down her cheeks. “I promised myself I wouldn’t!”
“What did you promise yourself for? Why are you hiding shit from me?”
I’m going to lose her. She’s slipping through my fingers while I stand here, staring down at her. The one good thing that has ever been a part of my life, and she might as well be gone.