Total pages in book: 155
Estimated words: 146392 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 732(@200wpm)___ 586(@250wpm)___ 488(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 146392 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 732(@200wpm)___ 586(@250wpm)___ 488(@300wpm)
The hint of a smile hit her best friend’s lips. “You weren’t?”
“Maybe a little, but I do appreciate everything you did to protect me while we were in school. But we’re not in school anymore, and I need you to be more receptive to me bringing other people into our circle.”
“People like Dennis?” Kala asked.
“I don’t know. Probably not. I met with him because I was curious, but I do know that I need more than this job. I’m lonely.”
A sad expression crossed Kala’s face. “I thought that was why we had each other.”
“It’s not enough and you know it, but I can’t make you see that Cooper isn’t the boy he used to be. He isn’t the one who hurt you.”
“Oh, that boy is in there.” Kala shook her head and sat back, staring out the window into the darkness. “He’ll always be there. He’s going through a phase. Cooper McKay is always going to want a white picket fence and a wife who fits in with his friends.”
Lou didn’t understand. “You do fit in with his friends.”
“The ones he has now, but that will change. And you should understand this. Otherwise you wouldn’t be sitting on my cousin’s lap again making my father nauseous.”
Was it that different? TJ had never rejected her the way Cooper had rejected Kala, though she only knew bits and pieces of what had happened that night. Before that night it had been a thousand little things, but after, Kala had closed off a piece of herself, the part only Cooper ever got to see. “TJ hasn’t changed. He’s always been TJ.”
“And he’s always loved you.” Kala let her head rest against the window. “Shouldn’t you have this convo with Kenz? Or Tash?”
“Kenzie and Tasha aren’t my best friend. I love them, but they’re not you.”
Kala grimaced and sat back up. “Fine. You want to know what I think?”
She wasn’t sure. Kala could think some really shitty things.
Kala blew past her hesitation. “TJ has always loved you, but he didn’t think he was worthy of you.”
“Try again.”
“No, that’s real,” Kala insisted. “You have no idea the conversations he’s had with me and Luke and Seth. Probably his sister, but she would never tell. His sister loves you but she’s one hundred percent team TJ, and that should tell you something.”
“I never said TJ wasn’t a great guy. I’m saying he’s not my guy.”
Kala sighed. “He’s always been your guy, Lou. That’s the problem. Okay, how about we get really fucking honest. This is my opinion and not something I’ve talked to either you or TJ about. You were great friends. If I’m honest, he was sometimes a way better friend to you than I was. I can be selfish and possessive when it comes to you because I sometimes think you’re the only person in the world who gets me.”
She wasn’t. Lou thought Cooper got Kala just fine, but Kala couldn’t get over whatever had happened between them that night when she’d gotten kidnapped as a teen. They’d gotten back to being friends but never to the caring they’d had when they were kids. “You were and are a great friend.”
“I’m not sure about that, but I’m going to do things right now. You should know I never would have tried to stop you from having a relationship with my cousin,” Kala admitted. “Never. When we were younger, I wanted you two together because that bound you to my family more. But it wouldn’t have worked because you weren’t ready.”
“I wasn’t ready? Don’t you mean he wasn’t ready?”
“No. I think you probably could have pushed him and made him ready when he was younger.”
Lou was confused. “You don’t think I tried.”
“I don’t think you tried hard enough. I don’t think you flat out told him you needed more from him or you would walk away because it was too painful to simply be friends with him. I think you were willing to live a half life with him rather than risk the relationship to have what you both needed.”
“So you think at sixteen or seventeen I should have walked away from one of the best relationships of my life?” Lou asked.
“No. I think you weren’t ready. You were so freaking young. Both of you. I know you think if he’d seen you back then, really seen you, that everything would have fallen into place, but I think it would have fallen apart and he would be your childhood sweetheart. You would always have had feelings for him, but you would have moved on.” She turned thoughtful. “Actually, put like that, maybe you should have. You could be totally over him and we could rule the club scene. We could run through some dicks, sister.”
That was pure bravado on Kala’s part. Kala didn’t date. In college she’d had a couple of relationships that had ended with Lou talking her down from murder. She’d definitely had some men she’d slept with, but even that had dried up in the last couple of years.