Total pages in book: 88
Estimated words: 79749 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 399(@200wpm)___ 319(@250wpm)___ 266(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 79749 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 399(@200wpm)___ 319(@250wpm)___ 266(@300wpm)
I don't email her back because I know the risk. She could already have put herself in more danger for sending that last email, but there's nothing I can do about that other than worry about her safety every single minute between now and the next chance I get to pull her from that life.
I don't doubt that Damien has regretted not slitting my throat that night Ivan ordered that it be done. Other than wanting me to witness him getting everything I thought I deserved, I have no clue why he let me live. He wasn't known for his compassion or forgiveness. If anything, he acted possibly worse than he was so people would never question him. He ran so many risks by not killing me, including losing Ivan's favor and the chance to run the family one day, but who knows the finer details? Ivan could've told him he was no longer in the running and that could've been the day Damien slit his throat and left him on the side of the road like a bag of garbage.
As I do my best to try and formulate a plan, I know there are worse things that can happen to her than being smacked around by her volatile husband. I know that can happen at any moment, even between now and when I get the chance to grab her.
My heart races as my mind runs through scenario after scenario. Storming the house and grabbing her isn't an option because I'd just end up with a bullet in my head, and I'm no use to her dead.
Leaving her be is another option that keeps running through my mind because it's what she asked for, but I made a vow to myself, even after Damien sliced open my face, that I'd help her when and if she ever wanted out. Although she wrote those emails thinking I was dead, she did ask for help. I have to be there to provide it even though she's backpedaling. She'll always backpedal. She'll always choose the danger she knows because she has been threatened with so many awful things if she steps over the line. I have no doubt Damien is willing and ready to issue all those punishments he had threatened her with, but there's also the chance he'll do it even if she doesn't step out of line. He'll create some scenario where she's wronged him just so he can hurt her. It's what abusers do. You can't ever be perfect because they change the fucking rules right in the middle of the game to benefit them.
Then, there's Eli to consider. As much as I hate a part of Damien coming from her, that kid is also a part of Aspen. I have to think that he got all the good things Aspen has and none of the horrific traits his father is plagued with. Regardless of lineage, children are to be protected at all costs. If Aspen can't or isn't willing to protect that boy, then I will. She can hate me all she wants, but the last thing this world needs is another man like Damien running loose and hurting people just for the thrill of it. If the boy is left to his father's instruction, I have no doubt he'll be just as bad if not worse.
Chapter 10
Aspen
Discovering that someone you thought was gone is actually alive is insane. I don't know if it's the idea that he's been out there this whole time that I'm struggling with or the fact that I've spoken countless times to someone who I attributed to being a ghost, but I feel like eyes are on me constantly.
The fact that Damien pointed out the camera in the office last week could play a part. I don't doubt that if he has visible cameras in the house, he could easily have hidden ones as well. The thought makes my skin crawl, but it also keeps me from doing anything that might anger him.
I no longer talk out loud to myself or voice my thoughts because I can't risk him hearing anything, despite how lonely it makes me feel. The isolation is worse when I go for hours every day without using my voice. Music helps, but it doesn't vibrate through my body the way it used to when I was younger.
I doubt that Luke is in the woods surrounding the house, watching me as I cross in front of a window, but that doesn't stop me from standing at them and looking out, hoping to catch a glance of him.
I'm no princess in a tower, waiting to be rescued. I deserve every bad thing I've gotten in life. I'm the daughter of a drug lord. My father's business has caused God only knows how many people to overdose and die, and that doesn't even take into account the number of guns this family has put on the streets. Those weapons aren't going to people defending their homes. They go to people who create more victims either through fear of having a weapon waved in their faces or because they've been shot.