Total pages in book: 142
Estimated words: 131330 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 657(@200wpm)___ 525(@250wpm)___ 438(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 131330 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 657(@200wpm)___ 525(@250wpm)___ 438(@300wpm)
Rolling my eyes, I storm across my apartment and drop down onto the couch with a huff, pulling my blanket up over me and pretending the giant asshole isn’t staring at me from my kitchen.
Quickly realizing that I’m not going to make this easy for him, he lets out a heavy sigh and strides toward me, cutting between the couch and the coffee table and dropping down onto it.
His knees almost brush against mine, and as my heart starts to race, I begin to fret.
I guess it’s time to face the music.
“You ready to talk about it?”
I scoff. “Which of my actions possibly gave you the impression that I was ever planning on talking about it with you?”
He braces his elbows on his knees, leaning forward and getting way too close for my liking. “So, you were just gonna hate me for the rest of your natural life?” he asks. “Or does this whole avoiding me bullshit have a shelf life?”
“You know, I haven’t really thought about it, but when I told you that I never wanted to talk to you again, I kinda meant it, so let’s just assume option one is the way to go.”
“Tough luck. That shit doesn’t work for me.”
“Tough luck. You’re not the one whose trust was betrayed. We’re not playing a game here, Izaac. This is my life. These are real feelings and emotions you’re playing with, and you don’t get to decide how mine are going to heal. I don’t think you’re understanding just how bad you hurt me.”
“That’s just the thing, Aspen. I do. I know that I hurt you. I fucked up, but pretending that I don’t exist and ignoring the issues isn’t helping anyone. For Austin’s sake and your parents’, you need to be able to be in the same room as me.”
I scoff, throwing myself to my feet and looking at him as though he’s lost his mind. “You’re fucking kidding me, right?” I say, feeling the tears prick my eyes as I pace in front of the coffee table, his heavy gaze locked on me. “Everything is always for their sake, but what about my sake, Izaac? You have known for years how I’ve felt about you. It’s not a secret, and for as long as I can remember, I’ve gone out of my way to hide that, to cater to everyone else so things don’t have to be awkward or weird. And you, you big fucking asshole, make a point to constantly remind me that nothing will ever happen. I get it, okay. You and me, it’s nothing but a fantasy. But what I don’t fucking get is why? After everything, after knowing exactly what this would mean for me, or how it would fuck with Austin, why you would even consider walking back into that room with me?”
The heaviest silence I’ve ever felt settles over my apartment like a storm cloud. I crash back onto the couch, my face buried in my hands, not trusting myself not to break.
“Believe me, Birdy, if I fucking knew, I would tell you.”
Grabbing a cushion off the couch, I launch it at his stupidly perfect face. “I told you not to call me that,” I say as he catches it and holds it to his chest. “And that’s a bullshit excuse and you know it.”
“I’m sorry, Aspen. I just . . . since that first night at Vixen, I haven’t been able to get it out of my head, and I know that was your first time, and you don’t really have anything to compare it to, but sex isn’t just like that. It’s never that fucking good, but with you . . . fuck, Aspen. Do you have any idea how rare it is to find someone so fucking compatible like that?”
“Wow,” I say, getting up and walking into my kitchen, desperately needing something to distract me and keep me from breaking right down the center. “So you destroyed me because you like to get your dick wet. Just fucking great, Izaac.”
“It’s not like that and you know it,” he insists, getting up and following me.
“Then what’s it like? Because for me, I was going in there to forget about you, because the prospect of me and you ever being together was so fucking absurd to you that I’d finally given up. I was there to give myself to someone else, to finally rid myself of the fantasy that I could ever have what I’ve always wanted, and that’s exactly what I thought I did. Do you have any idea what that feels like? I thought I finally had a chance to move past this and have a life, but noooo! Izaac fucking Banks strikes again.”
“Surely you must know that if I had known that was you the first night at Vixen, I never would have done that.”