Total pages in book: 142
Estimated words: 131330 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 657(@200wpm)___ 525(@250wpm)___ 438(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 131330 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 657(@200wpm)___ 525(@250wpm)___ 438(@300wpm)
Growing up, I always hoped that Izaac would be the man to take my virginity, and now . . . I guess the joke is on me. It’s a cruel world we live in because I got exactly what I wanted, only it’s nothing like I wanted at all.
I’ve pictured it a million times over the years, how I would give myself to him, how he would touch me, kiss me, and make me come alive. It would have been the perfect moment, but only after he accepted that I was the woman for him. It was supposed to be filled with magic and love. He was supposed to be my everything, and when I finally realized that was never going to happen, I gave myself to a complete stranger.
Only it wasn’t, and now it’s tainted by betrayal.
How could something I wanted so badly become something so horrible? Don’t get me wrong, my first time was incredible. Sex with Izaac is clearly unbelievable, and he knows exactly how to give a woman exactly what she needs, and that piercing . . . my god! But if I knew I had the chance to be with him, to really give him my virginity, I would have done it differently, and I sure as hell wouldn’t have done it in a dark club, believing he was anyone else.
I feel robbed. Betrayed. Defeated and broken.
My heart has never ached like this. All of me hurts.
How could he do this to me? How could he knowingly put his hands on me? What did he expect was going to come from this? That I would continue to visit him at Vixen and unknowingly become his dirty little secret?
The whole week following Mom’s birthday, he flirted with me. He danced with me at Pulse, we took shots together, and then that night . . . I thought things were finally starting to change between us, that he’d finally realized I was no longer just Austin’s little sister, that I was someone worth pursuing. Instead, he was just remembering how good it felt to be inside of me.
That call the night before, all the flirty texts, I thought they meant something, but now all of it’s tainted. How am I supposed to get past that? Izaac Banks is far from the man I thought he was, and now I feel as though I’m grieving this idea I’ve always had of him.
I want to hate him. I want to scream at him and make him hurt the way that I do, but one thing is for sure, we can never go back. This changes everything, and sooner or later, Austin is going to notice that something is going on. When he finally puts the pieces together, his relationship with Izaac will forever be altered, and despite how badly I want to pulverize Izaac and make him pay for my pain and embarrassment, how could I possibly punish Austin like that?
A knock sounds at my door, and my head whips toward it.
I sure as fuck would remember if I buzzed someone into my building.
Getting up from the couch, I scold Nathan on level three for being such an asshole as I make my way to the door. I had high hopes for Nathan. He was supposed to be the good neighbor who never bothered me, but I’m starting to reconsider.
Already mentally preparing my speech to send Becs or Austin away, I reach for the lock before leaning into the door and quickly glancing through the peephole.
My body freezes, and I pull my hand away from the lock.
That motherfucker!
Izaac stands on the other side of my door, his hands gripping the frame on either side, his head hung low. He’s been here a few times over the past two weeks, and each time, he’s looked even worse. I hate that this is eating him up, but at the same time, that’s not my problem.
He was the one who made the decision to keep me in the dark, and he was the one who decided to walk into that room, knowing damn well who stood before him.
My hands shake as tears fill my eyes. My chest aches worse every time I see him. Can I be in love with someone who would do that to me? He’s not the man I thought he was.
“Open the door, Aspen,” he rumbles out in the hallway. “I know you’re there. I can hear you.”
“You could be out in that hall in the middle of a psychotic break, and I still wouldn’t open the door for you, Izaac,” I say, turning around and flopping heavily against the door. “I’ve already told you, you’re not welcome here. Not anymore.”
“Let me in, Aspen. I just wanna talk.”
“You’re seriously fucked in the head if you think I’m about to let you in here. Just go.”