Total pages in book: 85
Estimated words: 82250 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 411(@200wpm)___ 329(@250wpm)___ 274(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 82250 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 411(@200wpm)___ 329(@250wpm)___ 274(@300wpm)
“You think it’ll get easier?” I ask.
“Fuck if I know,” he says with a smile, his eyes lit up.
“Look, there’re a lot of things going on with him right now. He’s stressed about the money he may or may not be getting. He has this big thing coming up with his family. He’s frustrated. Give him some space, and you need space, too. Wait for him to reach out to you.”
“What if he doesn’t?”
“Then you know how he really feels about being friends with you.”
Scary as his words are, I know he’s right.
30
Travis
I fucked up, and I know it.
Gary didn’t deserve for me to lash out at him the way I did. If anyone understands what it means to be outted before you’re ready, it’s me. To put him in the same situation and call him out for not telling his parents was a dick move. He deserves better than that.
I push the weights up again and again, hoping the strain in my arms will help with the built-up tension rushing through my body, but then that just makes me wish he was here working out with me because it’s a whole hell of a lot more fun with his goofy ass beside me.
I am so fucked.
Once I finish lifting, I set the bar back and sit up. Sweat runs down my forehead and stings my eyes.
“Where’s your man?” some guy that I’ve seen around Metropolis asks. I don’t even remember his name, yet somehow, he knows I’m with Gary…only I’m not with him. He just thinks I am.
“He has shit to take care of.” I stand up, not really in the mood to talk to anyone. After wiping my face with my towel, I head to the showers and clean up before I meet my brothers for lunch. My ass really doesn’t want to go there. I know there will be a last-ditch effort to get me to go to Liz’s party, and as much as I know it makes me a prick, I really don’t know if being there is the best idea.
The place we’re meeting is within walking distance from the gym. When I get to the little pub, I already see Martin and Malcolm sitting in a booth toward the back of the room.
“What’s up?” I ask as I slide into the brown, leather bench seat beside Malcolm.
“Not much. I ordered you a beer to start with,” Martin says just as the waitress shows up with a frothy mug of beer. Fucker is bringing out the big guns. He knows how I like my dark brews.
“Thank you,” I say. She asks if we’re ready to order, and I go ahead and get the biggest burger and fries on the menu because I’m not ready to get back into eating well. I deserve this shit.
The second she disappears to put our order in, Martin starts in on me. “The party is this Saturday. You’re going to go, right?”
“Jesus, don’t I at least get to enjoy the beer you ordered for me before the harassment starts?”
“Nope.” He winks at me. I ignore him for a moment and take a drink, letting the cool liquid slide down my throat before leaning back in the booth.
“Did you tell Mom and Dad you want me there?”
He gets a sad look in his eyes, and I know what their response was without him having to say it. “I did, and I don’t give a shit how they feel. They love you, Travis. I know they do—”
“Don’t.” I hold up my hand to stop him and thankfully he listens.
When his phone rings, he looks at the screen and excuses himself, leaving Malcolm and me alone.
“I know this is hard on you, Trav. I can’t pretend to understand. I hate that this is the way it is, but don’t let them stop you from living your life.”
“I don’t,” I tell him. “I make it a point not to.”
“Maybe outside of the family you do, but not with this. You go about your life, which is great. You should, but then you ignore that we are also a part of that life. I know you want to be there…I know you do because that’s the kind of man you are, big brother. You want to be there for Martin because it’s important to him. You’ll regret it if you don’t go.”
“Fuck,” I curse quietly because I know he’s right. I want to be there. I don’t want to let my parents keep me from spending time with my family.
“It’s okay to let yourself be loved, ya know? I’m not sure if you realize that’s what you do, but it’s true. I know they let you down, but not everyone will. I won’t. Martin won’t. I’m sure you have friends who won’t let you down either. Let us in.”