Total pages in book: 70
Estimated words: 64880 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 324(@200wpm)___ 260(@250wpm)___ 216(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 64880 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 324(@200wpm)___ 260(@250wpm)___ 216(@300wpm)
Clem blinked sleepily. “Can we play for candy?”
“Of course,” Tulsi said, swallowing hard as she watched Clem’s eyes close. “Of course we can play for candy.”
She managed to hold back her tears until she was certain Clem was asleep, but then they came in a fresh wave, pouring silently down her cheeks. She was just so grateful—so grateful to hear her baby’s voice, to hear her complain about the mean nurses, to know she was still plotting ways to increase her candy stash. Her little girl was going to be okay and they were both going to have a fresh start, with even more love in their lives than they’d had before.
The past six years had taught Tulsi that her capacity for love truly was limitless. On the day Clementine was born, she’d assumed nothing could surpass the love that had flooded her heart the moment Clem looked up at her with those wise and beautiful baby blue eyes. But with every passing year, Tulsi had come to treasure her daughter even more. Loving Clem was a blessing that had taught her that the heart isn’t a fixed entity, it’s a mansion always under construction, with an endless number of rooms and always more space for love and light.
And so when Tulsi woke up in the hospital folding chair the next morning to see her father sitting in a wheelchair by Clem’s bed, watching his granddaughter sleep, she didn’t hesitate. She rubbed the sleep from her eyes, padded in her sock feet around the edge of the bed, and wrapped her arms around her daddy’s shoulders.
“I’m so glad you’re okay, Daddy,” Tulsi said, kissing his cheek. “I love you so much.”
“We almost lost her,” Dale said, remaining stiff in her embrace. “After the crash, I was trapped on my side of the truck. I sat there watching her cry and bleed and I couldn’t help. And then she closed her eyes and I thought that was it…that she was gone…”
Tulsi hugged him harder and whispered, “I’m so sorry you had to go through that, Dad. But we didn’t lose her. And we’re all here and we’re a family. It’s going to be okay.”
“You should never have sent her away to camp,” Dale said in a gruff voice. “She’s just a baby. She should have stayed home with you and me, where she belongs. So we could keep her safe.”
“She was with you when it happened, Dad,” Tulsi said gently as she stood up. “Not at camp.”
“So it’s my fault, is it?” he asked, glaring at Clem’s bedspread, his jaw clenched tight.
“No, it’s that boy who decided to drink and drive and race his friend down the highway’s fault.” Tulsi leaned over, trying to catch her father’s eye. “You and Clem were just in the wrong place at the wrong time. It was terrible luck, but you’re okay and Clem’s going to snap back from this fast, I can tell already. We don’t have to be scared anymore.”
Dale grunted, but still didn’t turn her way.
“Please, Dad,” Tulsi begged, “I love you, but I can’t do this for another six years. I’m sorry I disappointed you, I truly am, but I was just doing the best I could. Can’t you just forgive me and maybe try to…love me? The way you love Clem?”
Her dad turned to her with a stunned expression. “Of course I love you. What do you think the past six years of taking care of you and Clementine has been about?”
“About you doing the right thing even though you think I’m a fool,” Tulsi whispered, smiling even as her eyes filled with tears for the tenth time in the past twelve hours. “And I appreciate it so much, I do, but I don’t want to feel like a fool anymore, Daddy. I’m not a child, I’m a grown woman, and I’m a good mama to Clem and a good daughter to you. I just want to love you and be loved without feeling like I’m never going to be good enough, no matter how hard I try.”
Dale blinked, and Tulsi was shocked to see tears rise in her father’s eyes. She’d never seen him cry, not once in her entire life.
“I just… I hate that I let you down,” he said, his voice gravelly with emotion.
“What do you mean?” Tulsi whispered, afraid of what he was going to say.
“Don’t you think I know it’s my fault?” he continued, tears slipping down his cheeks. “For pushing you aside when you were little and never making time the way I should have? If I’d been better to you back then, if I’d taught you how special you were, instead of being so hard on you all the time, you would have respected yourself enough to pick a decent man. Then you wouldn’t have had to fight so hard to get by and do without the good husband you deserve. It’s my fault. I’m a bastard, just like your sister always says I am.”