Total pages in book: 86
Estimated words: 83814 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 419(@200wpm)___ 335(@250wpm)___ 279(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 83814 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 419(@200wpm)___ 335(@250wpm)___ 279(@300wpm)
“You sure? I bet my dad’s asked himself a dozen times already why his better son took the bullet and not his careless, good-for-nothing youngest.”
“Step’s gone. We got to stop wondering what life would be like if he were still here.”
Lev grunts and nods to himself. “Yeah, I know you’re right. I just keep coming back to him though.”
“We all do.” More often than I like to admit, I find myself thinking about Step and what things would be like now if he were still alive. What Lev said the other day keeps haunting me. Would Stepan really hate me for this? The fucked up thing is, I really think he would’ve been even more angry than Lev is. I think if Step were still alive right now, what I did with Natalya would’ve ruined our friendship.
I’m lucky he’s gone. He’d fucking hate me right now.
But I keep that to myself.
“I’ll see what I can do about Natalya. I don’t give a shit if she’s happy or not, but I don’t want to give those fucking Italians the satisfaction of killing her.”
“Good to know your motives are pure.”
“Fuck you, Alex.” There’s no malice in his tone though, and he disappears back into the shop.
I slump down in the alley, sitting on top of the cooler. I sit in silence for a while, listening only to the found of workers in the building, the cut of their shovels in the ash and the banging of their hammers on the smoke-damaged walls. I stare at my hands and think about Step and the dozen ways I’ve fucked up my relationship with the people I care about the most lately, and finally I take my phone from my pocket and connect to the security system back in my apartment.
It boots up slowly and shows fuzz for a few briefs moments until an image appears.
The living room is empty. I pan the camera right, toward the balcony, and I can just make out the pool.
Natalya’s still in there. I can see her as a vague outline in the distance.
I have more cameras to install, but this will do for a now.
I sit back to keep an eye on my wife while I finish my lunch.
Chapter 25
Natalya
Istruggle against the loneliness.
Floating in a gorgeous infinity pool with an incredible view of the river helps a whole lot, but it’s still there, lurking deep inside of me. I can’t remember the last time I felt whole—like there were people in this world that genuinely knew and cared about me.
Maybe the other night, sleeping in bed beside Alexander. Or back in Paris when he showed up at my door.
But no, that’s way too pathetic. I don’t love the thought of Alex making me feel complete and push that idea deep down with all the other feelings I don’t want to examine too closely.
After soaking for a while, I decide to have some lunch. I towel off briefly before heading inside. It’s chilly in the air conditioning and I hum my music to myself as I throw together a quick little girl lunch of crackers and slices of cheese. When I’m nearly done, my phone buzzes.
Alexander: You’re dripping on the floor.
I frown at his text. What the hell is that supposed to mean? Is he sending some bizarre dirty talk?
Natalya: I don’t know what that means and I refuse to respond to it.
Alexander: You didn’t dry off enough. You’re dripping on my kitchen floor. Pool water is bad for the wood.
I frown then glance down. He’s right—there are some droplets and footprints where I’ve been walking around.
How the hell does he know that? I clean it off with my towel and pat myself down again, and I’m about to head outside to eat when I hear it.
A soft mechanical whirring sound.
I look up at the corner of the living room and there’s the security camera staring right back. A red light’s glowing at the top.
My phone buzzes.
Alexander: I like that bikini. It suits you.
Natalya: Are you watching me right now?
Alexander: I’m making sure you aren’t doing something stupid. Like dripping all over my floor.
Natalya: You’re an absolute fucking creep ,you know that?
Alexander: And you still haven’t dried off enough.
Natalya: Just because I’m living in your apartment, doesn’t mean you get to spy on me. You total dick.
I glare at the camera and flip it off. The camera shakes side to side almost like it’s laughing at me. I flush with frustration, annoyance, and something else.
A warmth between my legs.
I glance at the texts again. I like that bikini. He’s looking at me right now, and he’s really seeing me. He’s not just watching because he wants to make sure that I’m not violating his sacred space somehow—
He’s watching because he likes looking.
And I like to be looked at.
Which is an extremely new and bizarre idea, and I’m immediately repulsed. I mean, this is freaking Alex. Why the heck would I want him to look at me while I’m wearing my bathing suit?