Total pages in book: 91
Estimated words: 88153 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 441(@200wpm)___ 353(@250wpm)___ 294(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 88153 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 441(@200wpm)___ 353(@250wpm)___ 294(@300wpm)
“You’re not supposed to be here,” he growls.
“Is he dead?” I ask because there’s not a doubt in my mind that the body hanging is Dante. It’s not really recognizable, but there’s no question to me that’s exactly who it is. I think even Vic is shocked at what he sees. “Is he dead?” I repeat, firmer this time, giving Niko all my attention.
“I just finished him off,” Niko says, his voice sounding devoid of any feeling. “I thought it would help the pain inside me, but it hasn’t. Nothing is helping Emilia.”
“Vic? Do something with the body and leave us alone.”
“I’m not sure—”
“Leave, Victorio, Niko growls.
Vic nods.
I take a breath as Vic lets down the chain, slings the bloody mess of a body over his shoulder and walks out. I wince. I’m going to owe Vic a new suit. I sigh, rubbing the tension in my forehead.
“You don’t get to leave me, Emilia,” Niko growls.
“What?” I ask, totally shocked.
“You don’t get to pull away. You should have kept your ass home and then you wouldn’t have seen any of this,” he barks.
“Niko…”
“Don’t you Niko me. You’re married to me and there’s no going back. It’s not going to change. What I do will never change, but it doesn’t have to color what we are to one another. You aren’t leaving me—”
“Will you shut up?” I sigh. “Do I look like I want out of our marriage?”
“Em—”
I walk over to him, shaking my head to stop him from saying whatever he started. I don’t stop until I’m right in front of him. I reach up, sliding my hand against his neck.
“Fuck,” he hisses. “I don’t want you to see me like this. What are you doing here, Em?”
“That’s easy. I couldn’t find my husband. A better question might be, what are you trying to do here?”
There are two large black chairs behind us and Niko all but drops into one. He looks more exhausted than I’ve ever seen him and considering I’ve watched him struggle to recover from being in a coma, that’s saying a lot. I still down on his lap, ignoring the blood I can see dotting his pants and chest. It should bother me. This is a side of life of being in the family that I’ve never been exposed to. My father shielded me from the darkness. I don’t know what it says about me that it doesn’t bother me, but it doesn’t. It could be because Dante stole from me. He stole my father. He also came very close to taking my husband away. I want all signs of him erased from this world—completely gone.
“I don’t know what I’m doing. It hurts, Em. It hurts so fucking much,” his voice is filled with pain, there’s a rawness to it that makes me quake, causing tears to sting my eyes. He has kept it hidden so well. I knew he was hurting, but I had no idea just how much. I turn into him, shifting so I can straddle him and press my forehead against his. He stiffens, his body going rigid. “I’m going to get you filthy. You need to go,” he says quietly, his pain bleeding through in his words.
“I’m not going anywhere, sweetheart. When I lost my father and thought I was going to lose you, too, something changed inside me. I realized that I had wasted way too much time being afraid. I’m not doing that anymore. I love you, Niko. I trust you and I trust what I feel when I’m with you. You can’t get rid of me. You’re stuck with me.”
Slowly he relaxes into me, his forehead resting heavily against mine. His arms wrap around me, and he takes a shuddering breath that seems to be pulled from his soul. “This side of my life shouldn’t touch you.”
“It’s our life. This world is a part of you, and I want all of you Niko. Not just the parts you think are safe for me to see.”
He slowly lifts his head to look at me. “I miss him so fucking much, Em.”
I look into the eyes of my husband and wonder how I missed just how deeply he was suffering. I know he’s been doing his best to help me, and I feel guilty that I didn’t notice his pain was this intense. I can see the tears he refuses to shed in the corner of his eyes, and it hurts.
“I know, baby. I know.”
“I just thought if I could make Dante pay, it would make me feel better, but nothing has changed. I still mad as hell. It’s burning inside of me,” he admits, sounding haunted. “Nothing helps.”
“I know,” I repeat. I honestly don’t know what else to say. I know how he feels. I’m sadly all too aware that there are no magic words to help. So, I just hold him close, wanting him to know I’m here. I press my lips against his temple, then whisper the words again in his ear. “I know.”