Total pages in book: 85
Estimated words: 87629 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 438(@200wpm)___ 351(@250wpm)___ 292(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 87629 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 438(@200wpm)___ 351(@250wpm)___ 292(@300wpm)
Still, Jack would know me. Wouldn’t he? I knew him as soon as I heard his voice. He tried to disguise his eyes, most of his face, and his hair by darkening it and wearing it in a completely different style.
But as soon as I heard his voice, I knew it was him.
Would he know me by my eyes? After all, a mask does not hide the eyes. Jack wore colored contacts so I wouldn’t recognize his distinctive golden-green eyes.
Except…
He doesn’t feel the same way I do. He doesn’t smell my breath in his bathwater. He doesn’t see my face in his dreams.
“Okay?” Zorro asks.
“I am.”
“Are you sure? You got kind of tense for a moment.”
Of course I did. I was thinking about Jack and how he doesn’t share my feelings.
“I’m fine.”
“All right. We’re going in now.”
“I’ve already signed all of the forms.”
“I know that. I checked before I agreed to come here when Alfred asked.”
“Am I being completely naive? Ridiculously innocent? Going into a club with a strange man?”
“It would be irresponsible of me to tell you that you’re not, because you are. But I can promise that you have nothing to fear from me. This club makes everyone’s safety the first priority. You’ve been here before. You’ve probably seen the emergency buttons lining the walls.”
“No, I haven’t.” Funny that Jack didn’t show me those. Then again, he knew I was never in danger with him.
“I’ll show you when we get in. You can have a pager, too. And of course a safe word.”
I like this club more and more. It’s a safe place.
“Are you ready?” Zorro asks.
“I am, Zorro.”
“Then come with me, my lovely Elena. Let me make you quiver.”
Chapter Forty-Two
Jackson
The club holds no interest for me tonight. After I have a quick gin and tonic at the bar, I head back and find an empty suite. I go alone. I sit down on the bed.
And I wonder…
Do I have these feelings for Mandy?
If I do… Is Frankie right? Is Mandy in love with me as well?
So many years we’ve put into our friendship. I cherish it, and I don’t want to lose it.
I lie down. It’s selfish of me to take up a suite when I’m not doing a scene, but right now I don’t care.
I need to think.
I should go home and think, but this place… This place is where I am my most authentic self. This is where I want to be at this moment.
I like sex. I’ve always liked sex. I’m good at it, and the kinkier the better.
It took me a few years to recognize this in myself. But once I did, I knew it was who I authentically am in the bedroom.
I’m a Dominant.
I love being a Dominant.
Perhaps there’s a reason why—though I’m good at it and I enjoy pleasing my partner—I’ve never allowed any emotion to form with a submissive.
Thinking back…
I’m not sure I’ve ever allowed emotion to form with any woman.
I love you.
I’ve never said those words.
Not even to my high school girlfriend, who I considered marrying. I was so young that I had no idea what marriage was, except that I thought I could have it with Serena—my only relationship to last longer than a couple of months. It lasted the duration of our senior year in high school.
Serena was the homecoming queen to my king.
The head cheerleader to my most valuable player on the football team.
We broke up after graduation, each going our separate ways. Serena fought me on the breakup. She wanted to stay together, to eventually get married. I considered it. Serena was everything I thought I could ever want in a woman. She was blond, buxom, smart, and athletic. Tall and beautiful. I believe I did care for her very much. But I never said the words.
And then there was Mandy.
Mandy, who showed up at every one of my games and cheered the loudest. Mandy, who was the last person I said goodbye to before leaving for college. Not Serena but Mandy.
Mandy with her warm brown hair and eyes like the night moon. Mandy, with a curvier hourglass figure compared to Serena’s tall and athletic form.
Mandy…who I never thought of that way.
Who I never let myself think of that way.
That’s the key.
I’ve been so focused on protecting my friendship with Mandy that I never allowed my feelings to go anywhere else.
And then… When she wrote that damned Lustr profile, and I was frightened for her, wanted—no, needed—to protect her. Because that’s what we do. We take care of each other.
I thought I could scare her off Lustr. Scare her off—
Fuck. Who the hell am I kidding?
I would do anything to protect Mandy.
Even from me.
Chapter Forty-Three
Amanda
“Would you like something to drink?” Zorro asks.
“Sure.”
“I don’t recommend having alcohol, but if you need one drink to relax a little, that’s fine.”