Total pages in book: 85
Estimated words: 87629 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 438(@200wpm)___ 351(@250wpm)___ 292(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 87629 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 438(@200wpm)___ 351(@250wpm)___ 292(@300wpm)
She’s right, of course. “I was unfocused, love, and you got hurt. I don’t know how I’ll ever be able to forgive myself.”
“You have to forgive yourself, Jack. I forgive you. But I won’t play with you again.”
“I understand.”
She shakes her head. “I don’t think you do. I’m not going to play with you ever again not because I fear that you’ll hurt me. I don’t. In fact, if we went in the club right now and set up a scene, I’d be willing to bet that you will focus so intently on me that you won’t play hard enough, the way we both like it.”
I don’t disagree with her.
She continues, “I won’t play with you because it’s very clear that you have feelings for someone. Feelings for someone that you’ve never had before. At least not for anyone in this club.”
I shake my head. “You don’t know what you’re talking about.”
She raises her eyebrows. “Don’t I? Guess who didn’t show up for class tonight?”
I don’t have to guess.
“It’s her, isn’t it? Mandy. You have some kind of history with her.”
“It’s not like that,” I say. “She’s my best friend. I’ve known her almost my entire life.”
“I get it now. You’ve known her for so long that it’s almost impossible to try to think of her in the way that you’re thinking of her.”
Damn.
“Open up, Jack. I think maybe you’ve had feelings for her for a very long time, and you just let them lie dormant. And I think… I think that’s why you don’t allow yourself to form an emotional connection with anyone you play with.”
“I assume most people don’t come here to form an emotional connection, Blossom.” There’s no bite to my words.
“Scenes aren’t always permanent relationships, Jack. But they are relationships. Submissives play with you because you’re a good Dom. You know how to give them pleasure. Most of us aren’t looking for anything permanent at the moment. But we do notice. We notice when there’s no emotional connection on the part of our Dom.”
I clear my throat. “I’m not sure what I’m supposed to say.”
“You don’t have to say anything. Just know that we know. I’m the only one who knows you’re in love with Mandy. The other subs don’t, so you’ll still have plenty of people to play with inside the club if you choose to do so. But I have a feeling that you won’t play again. Not with anyone, and not for a long time.”
She’s wrong. “Thank you for your forgiveness,” I say.
She smiles. “I wish you well. And I hope… I hope with all my heart you find what you’re looking for.”
I nod, give her a chaste kiss on the cheek. “See you inside.”
I open the door, whisk past Claude, and head into the club.
Chapter Forty-One
Amanda
“I hear you’re looking for an invitation downstairs.”
The voice is low, deep, sexy.
And it’s not Jackson’s voice.
Alfred the bartender raises his eyebrows at me and smiles.
I turn around.
“Oh!” Zorro—or someone who looks exactly like him—stands in front of me. He’s wearing a black mask and a black cape. His hair is slicked back, and his eyes are a brown so dark, they’re almost black.
“I don’t expect you to trust me,” he says, “but I will never harm you. If you choose to come with me, I will take good care of you, and we don’t have to do anything but talk.” He pulls a chain-mail choker out of his pocket. “You’ll need to wear this.”
I nod. “A collar.”
“Only for tonight, and only for your own protection.”
“I understand.”
“May I put this on you?” Zorro asks.
“Yes. Please.”
He clasps it around my neck, and his fingers are warm. “You look amazing in that corset.”
“Thank you.”
The corset is still the only sexy garment I own. I’m wearing jeans and my pumps. The usual.
“I’ll need to blindfold you.”
“I understand.”
“Good. Club rules, not mine.”
“Can you tell me your name?”
“Just call me Zorro, and I’ll call you my beautiful Elena.”
I shiver. He arouses me. Not in the way Jack does, but still… I have to learn to take what I can get.
I’m never going to have Jack, so I’ll look for love elsewhere. In the meantime? I’m not laboring under any delusion that Zorro is offering me love. But he can at least offer me some instruction and guidance.
Which I’d better make clear.
“Zorro?”
“Yes?”
“I want to learn. I want someone to teach me submission. How to please a Dominant.”
“I’ve taught many submissives,” he says. “I’m happy to offer my services.”
“I’m not sure I want to…get intimate right away.”
“Absolutely. Your comfort is the most important thing.” He pulls me up from my barstool, his hands warm on mine. “Come.”
The path is familiar to me, even though I can’t see.
I’ve walked this way with Jackson twice.
Will he be here tonight? I don’t know. Maybe I should have worn a mask.