Total pages in book: 93
Estimated words: 91914 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 460(@200wpm)___ 368(@250wpm)___ 306(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 91914 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 460(@200wpm)___ 368(@250wpm)___ 306(@300wpm)
I wonder if he’s ever looked at anyone like Jackson looks at his boyfriend. I wouldn’t even know how to see someone in that light. I’ve never felt it with any woman I’ve been with, and I’m pretty sure they’ve never felt it for me.
After twenty minutes of overanalyzing, I realize I’ve become a walking cliché—having an existential crisis in a bar.
By the time Jackson finds me, I’ve almost finished my drink but am no closer to figuring out what just happened or why I’m comparing what Jackson and Noah have with my friendship with Miller.
“So … uh, that happened,” Jackson says.
I snort, but one look in his eyes, and I can tell he’s freaking out.
Shit, here I am thinking about me, like always, I haven’t even wondered what could be going through Jackson’s head.
“Whoa, Jackson. It’s okay. Wait, do you think I’m pissed you were hooking up in our room? You think I haven’t seen that type of shit before on the road?”
“Not with two guys, no.”
That’s definitely not the issue I’m having. Or is it?
I try to explain what happened, but I totally dig myself a deeper hole I won’t be able to get out of if I keep going. “I feel like a creep. For, like, watching and stuff.”
Jackson looks even more freaked out now. Great.
“Not for ages or anything. I was taken off guard, and I couldn’t move, and then it was all over, and I had to say something, or you would’ve thought I’d been there the whole time, but I wasn’t, and …” Fuck, kill me now.
“Can we totally forget this ever happened?” Jackson asks. “I’ll never sneak Noah into a hotel room again, and if you ask for a new roommate, I will totally understand.”
“Not going to ask for a new roommate, dickhead.”
Jackson smiles, and just like that, we promise to never mention it again.
Now if it was that easy to forget it too.
* * *
“Blue eighteen! Blue eighteen! Set. Hut.”
On the field, I become a commanding figure. Everyone sees the fun-loving me on the outside, but when that clock is ticking, there’s only one thing I want. The touchdown. The points. The glory.
What I don’t want is getting sacked because my offense can’t keep defense off my ass.
Training is not going well. The team this year is made up of newbies, rookies, and a couple of veterans, yet we’re all playing like we’re in the juniors.
I cough, my lungs hurting from being crushed by Henderson—one of our linebackers and team captains.
“Sorry, Talon,” he says as we climb to our feet, but it sounds sarcastic. I’ve been warned he’s a bit of an asshole and thinks he’s the best on this team. Well, not anymore. When he sees I’m not playing like he is, he tries the blame game. “Miller fuckin’ tripped me.”
“No sweat.” Just blood.
Stop being dramatic.
Miller at least looks ashamed. Henderson may be hazing me for being the new guy, but Miller’s supposed to be my protector. He checks my blindside so I don’t have to.
“Where were you on that one?” I bark.
“Sorry. Are you okay?”
“Let’s run it again.”
Miller turns to go back into position, but I stop him.
“You and I are gonna have words. Tonight. Dinner. And you can’t say no this time.”
His mouth opens to protest, but he thinks better of it. “Got it.”
We get through practice without another complete screwup, which puts me in a better mood than this morning. But when we break for the day and hit the showers, Miller’s one of the first guys out the door.
Guess he’s gonna blow me off again.
I don’t know why I’m trying so hard with him when it’s obvious he doesn’t want to be friends now or whatever.
Teammates. I can handle that even if I’ll hate it. I want to clear the air with him so we can go back to working like an actual team. I’ve never had to doubt him until today.
Out on that field, he broke more than our friendship. He broke trust.
Yeah, it was only one tackle he let through, but it was a tackle I shouldn’t have had to worry about. Not with him. If he can’t even keep a teammate off me during training, how’s he supposed to do it during an actual game?
I dress slowly because defeat weighs me down. Miller doesn’t want to hear what I have to say, and I don’t know why that gets to me so much. Any other guy I’d write off and not care about, but when we were in college, we were so close it felt like all I needed was him. Girls came and went, and my parents and brother were back home in Denver. Miller and I both had a ton of friends, but they didn’t know the real us. They knew the football stars. The big jocks on campus.