Total pages in book: 84
Estimated words: 82132 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 411(@200wpm)___ 329(@250wpm)___ 274(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 82132 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 411(@200wpm)___ 329(@250wpm)___ 274(@300wpm)
“I came home from work one day,” I say, grinding my teeth. “And they were gone.”
She gasps.
“Everything. Gone.”
“Jay.”
“She left a note that she was moving to Oregon with her sister since I had no intentions of making her my wife. And she was changing her number and never to contact her again or she’d call the authorities.”
I stare at the wall across the room.
“I don’t know what to say to that.” Gabrielle pauses. “I’m sorry, Jay.”
I shrug. “Yeah, well, there’s not much to say.”
My heart broke into a thousand messy and angry pieces over this . . . and I never thought those pieces could fit together again. I never wanted them to. It was never a consideration. Until now.
“Did she ever try to contact you?”
“Once. She called and let me talk to Izzy. I think she was trying to get me to come after her in some fucked-up game with our daughter as bait.”
“I’m so sorry.”
I sit up. Gabrielle lays an arm over my shoulders and rests her head on my arm.
My throat is dry. My stomach is twisted. My legs itch to move—to get up and pace, to distract myself from thinking about it.
But I don’t. I want Gabrielle to hear all of it so she understands.
“I’ve thought a million times that I should’ve just married her,” I say, my voice hollow. “Would it have been that bad? Who is really getting punished here? Me and Izzy.”
“You can’t marry someone you don’t love, Jay. You can’t marry them because they’re holding something—your daughter, for goodness’ sake—over your head. That’s . . . that’s cruel.”
I look at her, taking comfort in the concern in her eyes.
“But would it have been better for Izzy?” I ask.
That’s the million-dollar question. The one that keeps me up at night. Did my decision ruin that little girl’s life?
“No, Jay. That wouldn’t have been better for Izzy. Being raised in a house with two parents that don’t love one another, that are always sparring and creating dissension . . . what would that teach her?”
“What did never seeing her dad teach her?” I fight a well of tears from trickling down my cheeks. “Does she think I don’t love her? That I haven’t thought of her every day for the last four years? Will she grow up and not trust men because I fucked her up?”
Gabrielle crawls into my lap and pulls my head to her shoulder. She holds me close, running her hands up and down my back.
“You didn’t fuck her up,” she says. “You loved her. You got out of a situation that would’ve put her in the crosshairs of a lot of unhealthy interactions, even though it’s clear it killed you.” She kisses my shoulder. “You showed her what love is, Jay.”
I lean back and position Gabrielle so she’s straddling me. I hold her thighs and gaze up at this woman—this single mom I’m falling for.
“And that’s why I’m . . .” I don’t know how to finish the sentence. “You know what I mean.”
“That’s why you’re scared of getting involved with me. Because I’m a single mom just like Melody.”
“Yeah. Ironic, isn’t it?” I sigh. “I’m not saying you’d ever do anything like that.”
She smiles. “Of course not. But you’d be inhuman if you didn’t have some fear.”
I take a long, deep breath and blow it out slowly. “I don’t want this over my head anymore.”
“Guess we have that in common then, don’t we?”
“What do you mean?”
“I don’t want to second-guess every move I make anymore either. I want to live again. I want to not be scared.”
My hands find her hips.
Excitement and anxiety mix together in a cocktail of energy that bubbles in my gut. I can’t believe I’m about to say this. But not saying it all is impossible.
Am I doing exactly what I promised myself I wouldn’t? It looks that way. Can I see it any other way?
She grins down at me like a fucking angel.
Nope. This is the way it’s supposed to be.
“Wanna see what this could be?” I ask. “My track record isn’t great, and it might not be worth your time. Come to think of it, I might not be worthy of your—”
“Will you shut up?” She laughs, the sound nothing short of music to my ears. “We can see what this can be if you can stop talking nonsense.”
I grin. “Weren’t you on me to talk before?”
“Funny how things change, huh?” Her cheeks are split by a wide smile. “I want to be really careful around the boys. I’m not against them knowing we’re . . . friendly. I just don’t want to shock them, I guess.”
Thank God. “Works for me.”
“I’m sure it does.” She lifts up and pulls the sheet off me. Then she sits her pussy down on my cock. “Do you know what would work for me?”